^But why? *whines* Why won't you tell me????? I told you. I thought we's friends. C'monnnn....*puppy dog eyes* Pwease?
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^ Sorry, dear. And you didn't tell me, remember? You told ALEXIS and I read it.
So there. And we ARE friends. I'm not posting it. That's all. Don't take it personally.
So there. And we ARE friends. I'm not posting it. That's all. Don't take it personally.
^So. I still put it out there.
Why? Why? Why? ;_;
Why are you hiding it? Are you in jail or something? :P
I'm not an old perv, if that's what you're worried about. I swear. 100% 13-year-old-girl.
And you have me intrigued. So you must tell me. You can tell me, and then edit it out so no-one else will know! Please!
Why? Why? Why? ;_;
Why are you hiding it? Are you in jail or something? :P
I'm not an old perv, if that's what you're worried about. I swear. 100% 13-year-old-girl.
And you have me intrigued. So you must tell me. You can tell me, and then edit it out so no-one else will know! Please!
^ I know you are not a perve. Like I said, don't take it personally. I just don't want to post it, is all. Just forget about it. It isn't important.
Now, shall we write?
Now, shall we write?
Well, then. ;_;
Let's start a new thread. I will! :D
Let's start a new thread. I will! :D
^ Okay! You com up with cool titles for them and everything! :P
I made it. =]
I saw! WEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!
Hello Anybody On ?
John woke up suddenly with a frightful headache. "Oooooooooh man, that was some night last night," he moaned. He could barely hear himself talk, for his head was spinning and his ears were ringing profusely. "Where am I?" He was in such a state that he did not even realise he was in his own bed in his own house until about five minutes later. Last night's antics at the strip club had him higher than any drugs could make him. He had even met a girl who he thought was Kim Possible at first, until he realised that it was actually a very burly security guard who then proceeded to give him a royal clout over the head with a police baton. Let that be a lesson kids, to never get drunk, or you'll start hallucinating and may not live to regret it.
Anyway, that was the previous night and today was another day. John rolled over to his bedside table to check his clock (which incidentally was not a Kim Possible one).
"AAAHHHHH, IT'S FIVE O CLOCK AT NIGHT!" John really started to panic. He was supposed to have been making a speech at 10 Downing Street at lunch time and now he had completely missed it. Goodness, what was he going to do now?
Well, he had always believed that honesty was the best policy, so after lying in bed for thirty minutes fighting back tears of anguish, desperation and frustration (he had a hell of a time containing all those tears)he got up and walked, knees trembling, to his telephone to make a phone call to the most powerful man in all of Great Britain.
There's more to follow. Stay tuned.
Anyway, that was the previous night and today was another day. John rolled over to his bedside table to check his clock (which incidentally was not a Kim Possible one).
"AAAHHHHH, IT'S FIVE O CLOCK AT NIGHT!" John really started to panic. He was supposed to have been making a speech at 10 Downing Street at lunch time and now he had completely missed it. Goodness, what was he going to do now?
Well, he had always believed that honesty was the best policy, so after lying in bed for thirty minutes fighting back tears of anguish, desperation and frustration (he had a hell of a time containing all those tears)he got up and walked, knees trembling, to his telephone to make a phone call to the most powerful man in all of Great Britain.
There's more to follow. Stay tuned.
With his fingers trembling so much they must have been ready to rip themselves out of their sockets, John picked up the phone and dialled the secret number that the British equivalent of a secret service agent had given him. He jammed his finger into each of the dials and exhaled several times as the phone started ringing.
At last, a gruff voice answered and John started to wish his feet would sink into the ground. Here is a transcript of the whole conversation, (phone taps are great) with some of the harsher language toned down.
MAN: Yes?
JOHN: Uh, hello here, I....uh...well....y-y-you see
MAN: Who the devil is this?
JOHN: Well, my name is John Deacon and...
(man interrupts)
MAN: AND JUST WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN ALL BLOODY DAY? THE PM HAS BEEN WORRIED SICK! HE'S BEEN PRANCING UP AND DOWN THE CORRIDOR PLAYING WITH HIS YO-YO! AND HE ONLY DOES THAT IN THE GRAVEST OF DIRE TIMES! I WANT AN EXPLANATION, MY SON, AND I BLOODY WANT ONE NOW OR YOU'LL BE PICKING FEET IN POUGHKEEPSIE FOR NINETY YEARS!!!!!!!!
JOHN: Well, you see, uh, actually.....well....*sigh* I slept in.
MAN: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTT????????
JOHN: Let me explain.....
MAN: WHAT DO YOU MEAN - LET ME BLOODY EXPLAIN???!?!?! YOU HAVE DISGRACED AND PUBLICLY HUMILIATED THE PRIME MINISTER! WHO IS A VERY GOOD MAN, BY THE WAY! YOU ARE AN INSULT TO THE NATION! A DISGRACE TO THE HUMAN BLOODY RACE!!!! YOU....YOU....YOU....BLITHERING THUNDERDOLT!!!!!
JOHN: I'm so sorry, I am, I.....
MAN: SHUT, SHUT, SHUT UP! EXPECT A NUCLEAR BOMB TO FALL ON YOUR HOUSE ANY SECOND NOW! SEE YOU IN HELL!!!
*slams the phone down*
John really started to panic now. That man sure was pissed. But every word he had said was true. He had betrayed his country by humiliating the Prime Minister who had bragged about dining with him for so long to the group of students to whom John was going to give a lecture about sex education on. (Come to think about it, John was looking forward to that himself. It must have been that bloomin' alarm clock that Johnny Lada guy had sold him. He's a right &*^&*^%)
So John went into the kitchen to make himself a cup of tea (with a LOT of sugar, as usual) and waited for Judgement Day.
At last, a gruff voice answered and John started to wish his feet would sink into the ground. Here is a transcript of the whole conversation, (phone taps are great) with some of the harsher language toned down.
MAN: Yes?
JOHN: Uh, hello here, I....uh...well....y-y-you see
MAN: Who the devil is this?
JOHN: Well, my name is John Deacon and...
(man interrupts)
MAN: AND JUST WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN ALL BLOODY DAY? THE PM HAS BEEN WORRIED SICK! HE'S BEEN PRANCING UP AND DOWN THE CORRIDOR PLAYING WITH HIS YO-YO! AND HE ONLY DOES THAT IN THE GRAVEST OF DIRE TIMES! I WANT AN EXPLANATION, MY SON, AND I BLOODY WANT ONE NOW OR YOU'LL BE PICKING FEET IN POUGHKEEPSIE FOR NINETY YEARS!!!!!!!!
JOHN: Well, you see, uh, actually.....well....*sigh* I slept in.
MAN: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTT????????
JOHN: Let me explain.....
MAN: WHAT DO YOU MEAN - LET ME BLOODY EXPLAIN???!?!?! YOU HAVE DISGRACED AND PUBLICLY HUMILIATED THE PRIME MINISTER! WHO IS A VERY GOOD MAN, BY THE WAY! YOU ARE AN INSULT TO THE NATION! A DISGRACE TO THE HUMAN BLOODY RACE!!!! YOU....YOU....YOU....BLITHERING THUNDERDOLT!!!!!
JOHN: I'm so sorry, I am, I.....
MAN: SHUT, SHUT, SHUT UP! EXPECT A NUCLEAR BOMB TO FALL ON YOUR HOUSE ANY SECOND NOW! SEE YOU IN HELL!!!
*slams the phone down*
John really started to panic now. That man sure was pissed. But every word he had said was true. He had betrayed his country by humiliating the Prime Minister who had bragged about dining with him for so long to the group of students to whom John was going to give a lecture about sex education on. (Come to think about it, John was looking forward to that himself. It must have been that bloomin' alarm clock that Johnny Lada guy had sold him. He's a right &*^&*^%)
So John went into the kitchen to make himself a cup of tea (with a LOT of sugar, as usual) and waited for Judgement Day.
John stood in the kitchen playing Gregorian chant music (IMPORTANT NEWSFLASH - John likes something other than the Kim Possible theme) while sipping his sugar-drenched tea, drumming his fingernails on the table and waiting for his impending doom.
Nothing happened.
Silly sausage.
Then the phone rang. John crept over to it cautiously, as if it would spring off the table and devour him like a wild animal. He grabbed the receiver and yanked it to his ear.
"Hello?" he tried to sound as calm as he could after what happened the last time he used his trusty old phone Betsy.
"The nuclear bomb is experiencing technical difficulties," the man who had screamed at him before said. "Your death may be a few more minutes. Please stand by."
John slammed the phone down and started chuckling and doing cartwheels across the room. This country really was going to the dogs if its rulers were this dotty. What DID all those arrivals truly see in this place that had the audacity to call itself "GREAT Britain?" Anyway, no worries. John already had a plan. He was going to grow a beard and become a fisherman in Cyprus away from this mad area. He would catch fresh fish and Kim Possible would cook them for him on the evening.
Oh wait, she was dead.
Not that it mattered at all. John would just have to learn to cook the fish by himself. He could take a little camp stove with him on the boat. A ready meal there and then. That sounded like great fun.
First he had to get aboard a ship or a plane, so he packed up his belongings and got on his pink child's bicycle and cycled away before he was bombed into oblivion.
Nothing happened.
Silly sausage.
Then the phone rang. John crept over to it cautiously, as if it would spring off the table and devour him like a wild animal. He grabbed the receiver and yanked it to his ear.
"Hello?" he tried to sound as calm as he could after what happened the last time he used his trusty old phone Betsy.
"The nuclear bomb is experiencing technical difficulties," the man who had screamed at him before said. "Your death may be a few more minutes. Please stand by."
John slammed the phone down and started chuckling and doing cartwheels across the room. This country really was going to the dogs if its rulers were this dotty. What DID all those arrivals truly see in this place that had the audacity to call itself "GREAT Britain?" Anyway, no worries. John already had a plan. He was going to grow a beard and become a fisherman in Cyprus away from this mad area. He would catch fresh fish and Kim Possible would cook them for him on the evening.
Oh wait, she was dead.
Not that it mattered at all. John would just have to learn to cook the fish by himself. He could take a little camp stove with him on the boat. A ready meal there and then. That sounded like great fun.
First he had to get aboard a ship or a plane, so he packed up his belongings and got on his pink child's bicycle and cycled away before he was bombed into oblivion.