The 10 Commandments

Not only have I broken all ten commandments, I've shagged five of the seven dwarves.

fatty.

[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]fatty wrote: [/QUOTENAME]Not only have I broken all ten commandments, I've shagged five of the seven dwarves.

fatty.[/QUOTE]

was sleepy bashful about it?
did doc get grumpy?
was dopey happy afterwards?

[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]joxertheteddybearpirate wrote: [/QUOTENAME][QUOTE][QUOTENAME]fatty wrote: [/QUOTENAME]Not only have I broken all ten commandments, I've shagged five of the seven dwarves.

fatty.[/QUOTE]

was sleepy bashful about it?
did doc get grumpy?
was dopey happy afterwards?[/QUOTE]

ROTFL!!!
I love you Joxer...you are brilliant :-)

may I remind you all that Masterbation is a form of adultery?

(watches as everyone changes their answer to that one...)

[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]<b><font color = "crimson"> ThomasQuinn wrote: [/QUOTENAME]
[QUOTE]THOU SHALT NOT MAKE FOR THYSELF AN IDOL

I must be honest that it came pretty close to me making a shrine just for Freddie Mercury. However, I never 'truly' dedicated all my time to that wonderful musician, so I guess I'm still safe with God at this point.[/QUOTE]

You might not know this, but God sort of loosened his hold on this commandment a bit. You see, he's got a soft spot for The Beatles himself.
[/QUOTE]
Haha, this made me smile! :D

[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Flashman wrote: [/QUOTENAME]Thou shalt not murder - It was never proven in court.

Thou shalt not commit adultery - How hot is it in Hell? I'll pack my Speedos...

Thou shalt not steal - ...and my sunglasses.[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]fatty wrote: [/QUOTENAME]Not only have I broken all ten commandments, I've shagged five of the seven dwarves.

fatty.[/QUOTE]

Ha ha ha! Just the laughs I needed today.

You forgot that other commandment -

Never take a Ginsters Pasty and try to pass it off as a Cornish Pasty.....

Just ask Joxer...... :)

Here's everything you need to know about the ten commandments... as spoken by the ever-wise George Carlin..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1ahhebUoRg

I have never killed somebody, but the rest ....

[QUOTE] Sir GH wrote: Here's everything you need to know about the ten commandments... as spoken by the ever-wise George Carlin..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1ahhebUoRg  [/QUOTE]

How great to see this again! Thanks for posting it. "Thou shall keep thy religion to thyself" The absolute best.

"Decalogue"

Decalogue, n.
A series of commandments, ten in number--just enough to permit an
intelligent selection for observance, but not enough to embarrass the
choice. Following is the revised edition of the Decalogue, calculated
for this meridion.

              1 Thou shalt no God but me adore:
              2 'Twere too expensive to have more.

              3 No images nor idols make
              4 For Robert Ingersoll to break.

              5 Take not God's name in vain: select
              6 A time when it will have effect.

              7 Work not on Sabbath days at all,
              8 But go to see the teams play ball.

              9 Honor thy parents. That creates
            10 For life insurance lower rates.

            11 Kill not, abet not those who kill;
            12 Thou shalt not pay thy butcher's bill.

            13 Kiss not thy neighbor's wife, unless
            14 Thine own thy neighbor doth caress.

            15 Don't steal; thou'lt never thus compete
            16 Successfully in business. Cheat.

            17 Bear not false witness--that is low--
            18 But "hear 'tis rumored so and so."

            19 Covet thou naught that thou hast got
            20 By hook or crook, or somehow, got.

- Ambrose Bierce

If my typppping is a biiittttt wobbbbbly, I'm sorry, I can't tyypee and fuccccccccccckk my neighbou''''''rrrss wife attt the sammme time.  But since my wife is free, I can now dictate to her as she types for me. If anyone tells her what I'm doing, I will kill you.  I mean it.  And then I will have your house.  I'll move in on Sunday, it's the only day I have off from shoplifting.  But again, don't tell the mrs.  Oh, Jesus Christ, she already knows.   So, if the shoplifting thing ever becomes public, none of you ever heard me tell you.  In fact, I was too busy listening to my idol, the great Gary Mullen, to have done any of it.  God, he is. Oh shit, I forgot to phone mum and dad.  Fuck it, it's been years anyway, they've not seen me since borstal.

 I'm Guilty as sin and care not a jot.  But if you're reading this, God, I jest.

Mr Mercury wrote: You forgot that other commandment -

Never take a Ginsters Pasty and try to pass it off as a Cornish Pasty.....

Just ask Joxer...... :) =============================================================================================

I thought that was Joxer on that new Ginsters ad on TV?