custard tarts

I have just purchased a custard tart.

It is tasteless. Without flavour. Devoid of a treat for the taste buds.

Flavoursome, it is NOT.

Bakers out there... please tell me why this is. What has happened? They used to be delicious but now they're bland and taste as much of custard, or ANYTHING AT ALL, as a garden spade tastes of custard.

Someone out there knows why. Please inform me.

Finally...

1. For all those of you shouting at your spit-covered screen, "POST IT IN THE RIGHT AREA!" I have. This is the right place. This is SERIOUS.

2. For those thinking of a joke about being fat, overweight, etc... GB ate all the pies/cakes... please do try to make it original this time. FUNNY would be great, but usually we get dull, predictable and completely unoriginal. Please try hard. And then harder.

3. Yes, I have got better things to do, but I have a power cut in the house (since 3.10 approx) and am writing this on my laptop in the garden (using someone else's wireless broadband - what a fiend I am). I have a VAST garden you know!!!! 260 acres or something like that. And abundant cattle.

4. Tell me where I can get a GREAT custard tart. I'll send you a rare Queen CD if you can.

Ah yes, another day in the life of Greg Brooks. Eating tarts, posting rants aimed at the wrong people, behaving like a complete moron. You might wonder 'Isn't there something better this guy has to do...?'

This is a strnage one to be responing to. Given that custard is made from egg yolk, cream/milk,sugar and vanilla I suggest that your one is simply lacking in either sugar or vanilla. Go to a good quality bakers and you should get a nice one or even better make your own. But don't skimp on the vanilla or sugar. A nice touch is to caramelise the topp using demerara sugar and a very hot grill or blow torch. I would imagine someone like Delia would have a good recipe.

Plus I aggree that the seriousness of a topic is definetly in the eye of the beholder

[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Queen Archivist wrote: [/QUOTENAME]

1. For all those of you shouting at your spit-covered screen, "POST IT IN THE RIGHT AREA!" I have. This is the right place. This is SERIOUS.
[/QUOTE]
Well, this might be serious, but how is it related to Queen? This area isn't for ANY serious topic, but for Queen-related serious topics.

And the fact that you're their archivist doesn't automatically make whatever you eat a serious Queen-related subject.

Having seen Andi Peters on Masterchef last week making a proper, genuine custard tart (ie like a pie that is cut into slices and not one of these little individual 'tartlettes' I think you have a problem with), I can vouch, on the advice of the genuine master chef watching over him, that a custard tart is actually very very tricky to make.

I would suggest that your baker is probably not a highly skilled chef, but a greasy haired spotty school leaving oik in an apron (ie not a master baker, but something similar sounding). Herein lies your dilemma - to get a genuine proper custard tart you need to buy from a specialist, and not your local co-op, Mace etc...

I would suggest Fortnum and Mason on Piccadilly (or try asking Andi Peters to knock one up for you (make sure you correctly use UP, and not OUT though in that request) or you may get a completely different kind of sticky sweet surprise....

good day Sir

[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Raf wrote: [/QUOTENAME][QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Queen Archivist wrote: [/QUOTENAME]

1. For all those of you shouting at your spit-covered screen, "POST IT IN THE RIGHT AREA!" I have. This is the right place. This is SERIOUS.
[/QUOTE]
Well, this might be serious, but how is it related to Queen? This area isn't for ANY serious topic, but for Queen-related serious topics.

And the fact that you're their archivist doesn't automatically make whatever you eat a serious Queen-related subject. [/QUOTE]

I will attempt to make it Queen related then. Freddie once called some fans at a concert a "load of tarts". Trouble is, I cant remember which one. Can someone help me at all?

Will that do for starters, Raf? :)

Earls court

Thanks Daffy.

[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Queen Archivist wrote: [/QUOTENAME]I have just purchased a custard tart.

It is tasteless. Without flavour. Devoid of a treat for the taste buds.

Flavoursome, it is NOT.

[/QUOTE]

Greg, YOU are a custard tart.

Tasteless
Without flavour
Devoid of a treat for Queenzone

Perhaps if YOU started doing something more productive, the tarts you're disappointed in would taste better.

Have a great day and maybe mix in a salad.

Perhaps Greg MEANT to post this on the "Lionel from 'As Time Goes By" Serious Discussion" page? Lionel is quite serious about his custard tarts.

To be fair, he DOES seem to be waving a "Queen rarity" in the path of one who can point him to a GREAT custard tart, which could be seen as being both Queen-related and serious if he intends to make good on his offer.

I bet Greg would say that the custard tart got lost and that's why you're not getting a rare Queen track.

Wierd thing, I have just purchased a box of Mr. Kiplings, custard tarts & in the ingredients, it just says "Property Of Queen Produtions" ;-)

Greg Brooks video tapes himself jerking off and cumming on Queen albums and posts the videos on adult video sites!!!!

Just kidding.

hm, this is getting kind of weird... *deep breath* awh, I still wish that this forum was moderated, atleast... somewhat.
I know, I sound like a whiner, but... sorry... I'm getting "a tad bit" frustrated with this "Greg Brooks" troll.

with lovefull and queenzone:ified regards. /sami