It was the first day back at school after summer vacation for the class of seven year olds, the teacher asked them what they did while away from school.
Mary shouted out "Please Miss, I went out with Mummy and Daddy and we saw some moo-moos."
The teacher interrupted Mary and told her that she is a seven year old now and should not be using "baby words like moo-moo."
Just then, Peter blurted out "Please Miss, I went to stay with my uncle on his farm, he has lots of baa-baas."
Teacher interrupted again to scold Peter about using childish language, and asked little Johnny what he did.
"Well Miss," said Johnny, "I read a book."
"Very grown-up" commented the teacher, "And what was the book called?"
"Ehm... Winnie the shit", answered Johnny.
Micrówave · Member since
I like Richard Pryor's Little Johnnie joke, too...
(we go back to 1974...)
The kids had all returned from summer break and it was time for each to tell exciting events that happened during the summer.
Mary quickly raised her hand and proclaimed that she and her family had went to Disneyland. Emily bragged about camping out. Steven caught 4 fish with his Dad on a fishing trip.
When it got time for little Johnnie he quickly told how "My brother was in Vietnam and got shot in the ass."
The teacher, in shock, says "Whoa! Freeze, we can't say things like that, Little Johnnie. You say the correct medical term. Say 'Rectum'."
"Rectum?", retorted little Johnnie, "Shit, it killed him."
TheCosmosRocks · Member since
Brian May is watching TV in his living room when all of a sudden in a puff of smoke Freddie Mercury appears from nowhere.
Brian both shocked and startled cries 'Jesus Freddie! How did you manage that!?'
To which Freddie replies 'Well little did you know Brian but I practiced in the ancient art of voodoo for many years on the QT.'
Brian confused says 'Voodoo Freddie? What's Voodoo?'
Freddie answers 'It's a kinda magic...'
PersianPopinjay · Member since
[QUOTE]
[b]TheCosmosRocks wrote: [/b]
Brian May is watching TV in his living room when all of a sudden in a puff of smoke Freddie Mercury appears from nowhere.
Brian both shocked and startled cries 'Jesus Freddie! How did you manage that!?'
To which Freddie replies 'Well little did you know Brian but I practiced in the ancient art of voodoo for many years on the QT.'
Brian confused says 'Voodoo Freddie? What's Voodoo?'
Freddie answers 'It's a kinda magic...'[/QUOTE]
hahahaha I like that
catqueen · Member since
[QUOTE]
[b]TheCosmosRocks wrote: [/b]
Brian May is watching TV in his living room when all of a sudden in a puff of smoke Freddie Mercury appears from nowhere.
Brian both shocked and startled cries 'Jesus Freddie! How did you manage that!?'
To which Freddie replies 'Well little did you know Brian but I practiced in the ancient art of voodoo for many years on the QT.'
Brian confused says 'Voodoo Freddie? What's Voodoo?'
Freddie answers 'It's a kinda magic...'[/QUOTE]
Hahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Brilliant! How do people think of these things?
FriedChicken · Member since
How do you fuck a 11 year old between her tits?
FriedChicken · Member since
Answer:
Smash in her ribcage
Lexx · Member since
A man walked through the kitchen door one evening carrying a duck.
He looked over at his wife and said "This is the pig I've been fucking."
The wife looked at him confused and said "But honey, that's a duck" to which the man replied "I wasn't talking to you."
JoxerTheDeityPirate · Member since
2 men walking along a Cornish cliff when one of them falls 50ft through a tin mine shaft.
first man worridly calls down "you broken anything?"
2nd man shouts back "no,fuck all down here!"
Mr Mercury · Member since
A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer.
"Certainly, sir, that'll be 1 penny."
"ONE PENNY?!" exclaims the guy.
The barman replies, "Yes."
So the guy glances over at the menu, and he asks, "Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with chips, peas, and a fried egg?"
"Certainly, sir," replies the bartender, "but all that comes to real money."
"How much money?" inquires the guy.
"4 pence", he replies.
"FOUR pence?!" exclaims the guy.
"Where's the guy who owns this place?"
The barman replies, "Upstairs with my wife."
The guy says, "What's he doing with your wife?"
The bartender replies, "Same as I'm doing to his business."
