What's your Favorite Troll Moment on QZ?

Micrówave wrote:

thomasquinn 32989 wrote:

Micrówave wrote:
I can't decide.TQ's had a lot of posts...  you mean pick one?

I'm not aware of a single post of yours that doesn't qualify as trolling. Sadly, none of them would ever rank as anyone's favorite in any category.

Must be hard for you to accept that I would be #1 troll, then....  since you speak for the entire community.

Thank you, thank you all.  I couldn't have done it withoutthe following people:   TQ

There ONCE was a Microwave post that was not trolling. I think it was the time he announced a sale of a Mick Rock book or something like that.

Funny thing about KISS fans, they ALL do that.

Kinda creepy hearing about a traveler who wanted to get boarding wandering around. But then again, in a different era it wouldn't be a big deal.

WHO THE HECK IS JAKE BRITT?

matt z wrote:
WHO THE HECK IS JAKE BRITT?

You SERIOUSLY don't know who Jake Britt is?? Granted, the majority of his infamous episodic threads took place probably between circa 2000-2006, but I'm surprised you never saw his "comeback" troll threads in the last few years. He was one of QZ's worst trolls, equally on par with (if not even stranger and more threatening than) TM. Thankfully he's remained quite out of the QZ picture over the last couple years, presumably because of his child.

WHO THE HECK IS JAKE BRITT?

Jake Britt is (or was as the case may be)the sweetest and, by far, the most attractive human being ever to grace God's green earth. He was adored by all, especially the ladies, and he holds a special place in the hearts and minds of every single Queenzoner.

A talented singer/songwriter, his lyrics were a window to his soul and he has gone on to inspire some of the biggest names in today's music with Treasue Moment and Jedward to name but two. In a recent interview, Susan Boyle stated that although they were poles apart as far as music was concerned she had based her entire image on Jake Britt.

His popularirty was by no means confined to the message boards of Queenzone. Jake had a great many friends in real life but none more so than Chris Eisold. Jake and Chris would often sit in the same room together and post their conversations to the message board for all to enjoy. Each going to the trouble of logging in and out before posting the next instalment of their web chat. On one hilarious occasion, Jake forgot to log out of his own account meaning that when Chris replied, it appeared as though Jake had been having a conversation with himself. But Jake explained that it had just been a simple technical error and nobody doubted him for a second.

But it wasn't just the guys who admired Jake. He was a big hit with the ladies too. It's been said that Jake could charm himself into any womans bed and that he only ever used the hammer and chloroform on one regrettable occasion. And one other. And then another nine times after that. Despite the fact that Jake could have had his pick of thousands of drop dead gorgeous women he was gifted in being able to see inner beauty and embarked on a long term relationship with a right fucking munter called Jessica.

They met for the very first time at a party neither of them had actually been invited to. Jake was attratced to her inability to remain upright after a few beers and Jessica was attracted to Jake's complete ignorance of human biology. Two weeks later their son Gavin was born. Sadly their relationship was not to last.

Jake found it difficult to cope with the pressures of fatherhood. There were the sleepless nights, toys to play with, feeding, the constant changing of shitty nappies and on top of that he had a son to look after (Ha Ha Ha! Do you see what I did there?)Jake and Jessica found that they were pulling in opposite directions. He wanted to embark on a journey that would ultimately lead him to find himself allowing him to concentrate on his songwriting and she wanted a trampoline. It was while Jake was perched on the horns of this dilema that the state intervened and took the child into care. It would be a further three weeks before Jake even noticed his son was gone.

Jake kept up the charade that all was well and few on Queenzone were aware that this poor guy was finding it hard to cope. The signs were there but you had to dig deep. Every day there would be seven or eight posts in the personal section with titles along the lines of "I FEEL SUICIDAL" or "I'M GOING TO KILL MYSELF". One particularly ambiguous post was simply entitled "I'VE GOT A BIG BOTTLE OF SLEEPING PILLS IN MY HAND AND IF YOU DON'T REPLY TO SAY HOW SORRY YOU ARE FOR ME I'M GOING TO SWALLOW THEM....REALLY, I WILL. I'M NOT KIDDING." Deep down this may have been a cry for help that sadly went unnoticed.

That was Jakes last ever post on Queenzone, unless of course you count all the posts he made since that one. I dont know what he's up to these days but every now and then I spare a moment to remember my old friend and in my mind I see him staring at a tractor with that slack-jawed expression on his face. Or chasing a woman through the woods with a kichen knife in his hand. Or sitting in front of his computer posting a hate fuelled ditribe againt womankind while his son starves to death in a filth-strewn corner of his basement.

Happier times.

fatty.

On another note, why do I have numbers after my name these days?

fatty (2850 for some reason)

-fatty- 2850 wrote:
On another note, why do I have numbers after my name these days?
fatty (2850 for some reason)

It's the year you're going to die. You'll live to see Scotland inhabited by post-apocalytpic zombies and reanimated dinosaurs. I died almost 9 years ago however.

I missed most of Britt's antics but one of the most amusing moments was when he started posting lyrics. In response, I told him he was a genius and inspirational, and I asked him to judge some lyrics I'd written such as:


Bright future? Not for me.
Right now, the world seems sad
I don't know why
There doesn't seem to be an answer
There doesn't seem to be a rainbow

I can't explain the feeling
So sad I want to weep

A new day and things may change ...

Knowing you was the answer
Not knowing you gives me cancer
Of the heart
But every day brings a new challenge
Bring it on, I'm ready for love again
Even with my ex (I can forgive her) I miss the sex
Run naked in the rain and wait for the rainbow.
:) Unsurprisingly, it took him a long time to catch on

Yeah I remember them. I think a few folk joined in before the penny dropped. We need him back again.

fatty.

-fatty- 2850 wrote:
On another note, why do I have numbers after my name these days?
fatty (2850 for some reason)

The numbers after your name is your membership (id) number - you can see it at the bottom left of the screen when you place the cursor at the "pm" icon under your name.

Someone explained earlier that this situation could be the result of logging in through different pcs.

FATTY: thank you for the hilarious update. (though some of the content seems to be serious)

but i thought there was a typo in there somewhere... the part where "she wanted to be a (human) trampoline"... just a guess.. i dunno.

Once some people get started... :::nudge:::nudge::: wink wink.



Holly: LOVE the lyrics... i'm thinking of starting a ridiculous band just for the sake of leaving all pretense behind. When i equip myself with some easy home recording software and an interface, I'll give a go at those verses.


funny s#!+ but not too far from some songs.


Wow, i guess i missed a lot between those years i was performing in a band and heavily in school, and Queen weren't doing much of anything.

Also, i never sought out the PERSONAL forum. I had no idea the gold nuggets of wisdom and fun i'd find.

However, back to the Fatty story... if the two were in fact misusing each others' accounts as they'd have u believe, does that not imply that they were flat/mates? bed/mates?

i thankfully only experienced the tail end of the Treasure Troll Moment.

Pretty much any joke posted by Zebonka or paulosham.

inu-liger wrote:

matt z wrote:WHO THE HECK IS JAKE BRITT?

You SERIOUSLY don't know who Jake Britt is?? Granted, the majority of his infamous episodic threads took place probably between circa 2000-2006, but I'm surprised you never saw his "comeback" troll threads in the last few years. He was one of QZ's worst trolls, equally on par with (if not even stranger and more threatening than) TM. Thankfully he's remained quite out of the QZ picture over the last couple years, presumably because of his child.

I think that was a thread title once, or at least a comment? (the WHO THE HECK comment) I'm not certain, but i'm almost sure -- it was someone fairly new to QZ, here for a few months, but he/she (not a clue who it was) kept seeing references to Jake, and asked who he was. I could be wrong though.

If I ever had a favourite troll it must have been TED, I am surprised fatty did not mention him. He started on the infamous interactive Queen news page in late 2001 and then moved on to the notice board. TED was Scottish I believe and he claimed that a group of "Rastafarian Queen fans with ghetto blasters" bullied him. TED was the first troll who was actually banned from Queenzone by Richard after he had sent Richard a hate email. His favourite line was "WAKE UP AND SMELL THE FUCKING COFFEE" - whatever that meant but somehow he was really funny and also quite stupid. After he was banned by Richard he re-registered once a week on Friday evenings around the same time and I only had to wait for his first messages to appear on Friday night to delete his latest account which eventually frustated him enough to stop.

I forgot about TED! We're talking 10 years ago, holy shit O.O

Mr Tampon Tea

YourValentine wrote:
If I ever had a favourite troll it must have been TED, I am surprised fatty did not mention him. He started on the infamous interactive Queen news page in late 2001 and then moved on to the notice board. TED was Scottish I believe and he claimed that a group of "Rastafarian Queen fans with ghetto blasters" bullied him. TED was the first troll who was actually banned from Queenzone by Richard after he had sent Richard a hate email. His favourite line was "WAKE UP AND SMELL THE FUCKING COFFEE" - whatever that meant but somehow he was really funny and also quite stupid. After he was banned by Richard he re-registered once a week on Friday evenings around the same time and I only had to wait for his first messages to appear on Friday night to delete his latest account which eventually frustated him enough to stop.

TED was the best, lol :-)

Holy fuck Jake Britt?! XD fucking weirdo hope he got help

Probably my favorite troll moment was anything with Treasure Moment and then people making fun of him after he posted XD