clarification of Thor Arnold's role in Freddie's life

[QUOTE] [b]thundergod wrote:[/b]

stevelondon,
Sorry, but I do not know much about the Hot Space album or anything other than it probably did cause a rift between the band members. I think the band was getting tired of each other after such a long time together. I believe they each had their own ideas about what Hot Space should be and how it should be done and it may have been missing the cohesiveness that was once always there. But, when they realized that Freddies days would be limited I'll bet they all craved what they had there and any differences may have seemed petty. One of my favorite quotes come from Judy Collins (of all people) with "Don't it always seem to go, that you don't know what you've got till it's gone." I think this philosophy is very much present within the two remaining band members. Maybe Hot Space would have even been better if some members didn't try to reign Freddie in and continued to follow his vision.[/QUOTE]

Once again, Thanks mate.

Wonderful to read all your memories of Freddie, Thor.

From the group of friends Freddie probably had the most glamorous job but: were the others of you able to talk with Freddie about everyday problems?
The party and extravagant side is often talked about (also the sad side, it must have been so hard for all of you when that awful disease hit your group of friends) but it'd be very nice to know that Freddie also had this very humane side to him. Caring for people, giving to charity, having attention for whatever problems his loved ones experience etc.

Did - to your knowledge - Freddie ever meet Grace Jones and/or Keith Haring? I saw Jones in concert last week and adore Haring's art. That's why I ask.

Was Freddie by 1980 - when you met him - still critical of his performance after a show or was having a nice time all that was on his mind then? Did he listen back to any concert recordings t ohear how he sounded?

Hi Dr. Magus,
Well, I never heard anything about Paul Rodgers from Freddie. I, personally was never a Bad Company fan. I did not know who he was but remembered the song "Bad Company." I attended one of the Queen with Paul Rogers concerts at the Hollywood Bowl in, I think in the 90's but, to tell you the truth, I only really enjoyed the large screen presentation and tribute to Freddie with footage of him singing Bohemian Rhapsody. If YOU are a Paul Roger's fan, I am sorry that I was not more impressed with him.The band playing the "Bad Company" song with him seemed very un-Queen like. Freddie, as far as I know was very fond of Cliff Richards and Dave Clark, both of whom I had met at Freddie's house. Paul Rogers was not mentioned as I recall and I never saw posters of him on Freddie's walls.

Hello again kokax,
Now I am confused. I thought it was Fran Lebowitz for the longest time BUT the lady was supposed to be a photographer...and that would be Annie Leibovitz, right? I knew it was the one who was a lesbian, but maybe they both were. Whichever person it was, they did NOT come over for the slideshow at all. When we played it as part of the original plan (with Freddie's encouragement), it interrupted her non-stop talking and she seemed quite a bit "put-out."

Hey there on my way up,
Actually, Freddie prefered to talk about everyday things and problems and during our close friendship in New York, he confided in me when he felt a little blue, comforted me if I was blue and often asked me for boyfriend advice. He was such a cerebral, empathetic and compassionate guy, a true Renaissance man.
I know Freddie knew Grace Jones when she was dating steroided-out Dolph Lundgren...he loved Grace's "I Need a Man." I do not recognize the name Keith Haring - sorry.
After a show, in that time period, he enjoyed forgetting about the show, did not mention it and just wanted to go hit the town with his "daughters" I do not know if he listened over his concert recordings, at least he never did in front of me.

Thanks for the answers Thor.

I know this next one is a silly question..but...during your times with Freddie in NYC or LA have you witnessed a situation where his female fans recognized him at a club, bar or a street and were trying to get it on with the rock star? Known to happened a lot.

what was Freddie's reaction? lol

Hello again Shvili,
Good question. It is uncanny, but Freddie, in the early 80's in the US, was very RARELY recognized. Crazy, right?
But ,for starters, he had recently evolved his short haired, moustached look. Most people were still looking
for his long-haired appearance. The gay community was quite segregated between male and female in those
days. Except for Studio 54, very few straight women frequented the gay bars like they do today. Also, as I
mentioned in another reply, we all looked alike so it was easy for five mustached men to not be scrutinized by
the public for the possibility of a mixture of regular gay guys and one RockStar.

My question is based on the question of the previous member.
Is there any woman around your circle of friends?How did Freddie behave towards women?

Invisible Woman,
Freddie loved Mary above anyone else, man or woman. It was obvious every time I saw them
together. Even if Freddie was upset about something and might vent about it among his male
friends, when Mary was suddenly present, his whole demeanor would change. I think she represented the
calm in every storm of his life and he cherished her for that. I know he always thought that she sacrificed
her own happiness for his. I believe that even with the love of a son and his father, she put off marriage
out of respect for Freddie until after his passing.
In our circle in New York at that time there really were no women around us. Of course, Freddie had many female,
more celebrity type friends from his past that he would entertain. Some I met, some I did not.
I had never seen a female stranger throw herself at him or try to divert his attention in New York. Certainly though, in Munich,
I understand now more than then, that he developed a strong female companionship with Barbara Valentin who I never met.

Thor,

Sounds to me like Mercury has managed to find a sort of "goldilocks zone" for himself.
Enjoy the fame and whatever comes with it and at the same time, maintain the level of privacy, which allows one to enjoy the benefits of being an average person.
Perfect! What could be better than that?!

In any case... i am happy that you are well and feel honored to have had the opportunity to reminisce with somebody that Freddie called a Friend.

Thank you.

You said you spoke with freddie in his last years? Did he say he missed the good old days of partying? Or missed touring? Did he mention any regrets? Like he should have read the signs and slowed down when friends were getting sick and dying. Just curious what you guys talked about in those last years.

Hey mike hunt,
Freddie never expressed any regrets. After that year or so of denial, I think he realized the risks of his behaviors but was
willing to test them. Once he knew he was HIV positive but was still strong and stage worthy, I believe he accepted his fate.
As I said recently, I never heard him complain.He never became self-centered or displayed "poor me" behaviors and he never
forgot his friends and always made time for us even when he was feeling pretty bad. As I was a Registered Nurse, he did seek
out some personal care during my last two visits as well as simple treatment recommendations for things like nausea,
constipation and appetite increase measures other than drugs. I was glad to be of some use to him. I think, more than anything
else he missed being healthy...just as anyone would.

Hey Thor,

Thanks once again for all the time and effort you've put into the replies here. We realy appreciate it. Top man!

1) How did Freddie deal with stress? If there was a problem/obstacle in his life, how would he overcome it?
2) How did Freddie deal with loneliness and not finding the right one?
3) Did you and Freddie ever argue/fall out?

Thanks!!

Thor,
But that about Mary was before Freddie met Jim?
Perhaps I am wrong, but I have the impression that she was obsessed with Freddie and that imposed on him the guilt because he could not love her as a lover.
According to Jim's book, his role in his life was not so huge.
In "Mercury and me" Jim also says that she initially was kind to him,but later, after some events and her attitude, it became clear that she not like Jim.
Do you think this could be true?
I know you said you didn't meet Jim well but you could see them together(Freddie and Jim) when you visited Freddie in his house.
How they did relate to each other, did you see the closeness and love between them?
Thank you very much for answering the previous question and I promise I will not bother you with such questions anymore.:)

Wow! Great thread! Thank you Thor!

You get a lot of questions :-)
Maybe can you tell us about your visits to Freddie in London?

Hello Thor !
Thanks very much for clarifying. It seems Fran Lebowitz is a public speaker among others, so it might have been her ( and not famous photographer Annie L. :)
Your replies are really fantastic and a great reminder why doesn't hurt to double check if there's an opportunity instead of taking everything printed as the "bible".
cheers !