The Vicar of Dibley is a great show, but I don't think it's the best. My pick would have to be Are You Being Served? or Keeping Up Appearances.
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Totally agree - off hand I could probably list about 10 clever, witty and funny lines from Fawlty Towers and, when pushed, probably 1 from The Vicar of Dibley....no, scratch that - make that 0.
"Where's Sybil?" "Huh...where's the bill?"
"I meant that awful man...Harold Robinson! God, it's awful!" "How about Waldorf Salad?" "Is that one, yes, you're quite right - awful!"
"Anywhere which does French food?" "Yes, France I believe -they seem to like it there - you'll have to leave quick though, the tide leaves in six minutes."
"Is this a piece of your brain?"
"Do you want plain ones or ones with our address on it?"
"Oh, we don't have any this week - no...no germans this week, Major."
"Well deduct half now, and if my wife brings up the other half during the night, we'll claim the balance in the morning!"
"Alright, we'll put an add in the paper - 'Wanted, kind home for enormous savage rodent.' Answers to the name of Sybil."
"No, no - I can't abide cruelty to living creatures!" "Well I'm a creature, you can abide it to me." "You're not living."
"I tell you - if the Good Lord..." "...is mentioned once more I shall move you closer to him!"
Classic stuff there. Of course, the co-writer of this is the same person who played the joint-best role in 'MP and the Holy Grail' (along with the Knights who say Ni...ni! ni! ni!) - the French Knight! "You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person! I'll blow my nose at you so-called Arthur King - you and all your silly English kerniggets!"
What an eccentric performance.
"Where's Sybil?" "Huh...where's the bill?"
"I meant that awful man...Harold Robinson! God, it's awful!" "How about Waldorf Salad?" "Is that one, yes, you're quite right - awful!"
"Anywhere which does French food?" "Yes, France I believe -they seem to like it there - you'll have to leave quick though, the tide leaves in six minutes."
"Is this a piece of your brain?"
"Do you want plain ones or ones with our address on it?"
"Oh, we don't have any this week - no...no germans this week, Major."
"Well deduct half now, and if my wife brings up the other half during the night, we'll claim the balance in the morning!"
"Alright, we'll put an add in the paper - 'Wanted, kind home for enormous savage rodent.' Answers to the name of Sybil."
"No, no - I can't abide cruelty to living creatures!" "Well I'm a creature, you can abide it to me." "You're not living."
"I tell you - if the Good Lord..." "...is mentioned once more I shall move you closer to him!"
Classic stuff there. Of course, the co-writer of this is the same person who played the joint-best role in 'MP and the Holy Grail' (along with the Knights who say Ni...ni! ni! ni!) - the French Knight! "You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person! I'll blow my nose at you so-called Arthur King - you and all your silly English kerniggets!"
What an eccentric performance.
Dads army should've one hands down
"your name will also go on the list..what is your name?"
"Don't tell him Pike"
I'm telling you that whole scene has me crying with laughter everytime i see it, and trust me i see it alot! The Good life is not funny in my opinion and fawlty towers should've come higher and i love blackadder....you can't beat the classics for comedy now can you...anyways i was still upset from the bloody rugby...a disgrace! ;D
"your name will also go on the list..what is your name?"
"Don't tell him Pike"
I'm telling you that whole scene has me crying with laughter everytime i see it, and trust me i see it alot! The Good life is not funny in my opinion and fawlty towers should've come higher and i love blackadder....you can't beat the classics for comedy now can you...anyways i was still upset from the bloody rugby...a disgrace! ;D
Old woman!
Man.
Man, sorry. Which knight lives in that castle over there?
I'm 37.
What?
I'm 37 - I'm not old.
Well I couldn't just call you 'man'.
You could have called me Dennis.
I didn't know you were called Dennis.
Well you didn't bother to find out, did you.
I did say sorry about the old woman but from behind you looked like...
What I object to is you automatically treat me like an inferior.
Well I am King.
Oh King, eh? Very nice - and how did you get that, eh? By exploiting the workers - by hanging onto outdated, imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society. If there's ever going to be any progress...
Dennis, there's some lovely mud down here! Oh, how do you do?
How do you do, good lady - I am Arthur, King of the Britons. Whose castle is that?
King of the who?
The Britons.
Who are the Britons?
We all are, we are all Britons. And I am your King.
I didn't know we had a King - I thought we were an automitouse collective.
You're fooling yourself - we're living in a dictactorship, a self perpectuating autocracy in which the working classes..
Oh, there you go, bringing class into it again...
Well that's what it's all about, if only people would listen...
Please, please, good people, I am in haste. Who lives in that castle?
No one lives there.
Then who is your Lord?
We don't have a Lord.
What?
I told you - we're an anarcho-sinicist commune. We take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week...
Yes....
...But all the decisions for that officer have to be ratified at a special bi-weekly meeting...
...Yes I see....
...By a civil majority in the case of purely internal affairs...
...Be quiet!
...But by a two thirds majority in the case of...
...Be quiet, I order you to be quiet!
Order, eh! Who does he think he is?
I am your King.
Well I didn't vote for you.
You don't vote for Kings.
Well how do you become King then?
The lady of the lake - her arm clad in the purest shimmering cemite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by devine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your King!
Listen, strange woman lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony!
...Be quiet!
You can't expect to yeild supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you!
...Shut up!
I mean, if I went round saying I was an Emporer just because some moistened bint lobbed a semitire at me, they'd put me away!
Shut up, will you shut up!
Ah, now you see the voilence inherited in the system!
Shut up!
Come and see the voilence inherited in the system! Help, help, I'm being repressed!
Bloody peasant!
Oh, what a giveaway! Did you hear that? Did you hear that, eh - that's what I'm on about - did you see him repressing me, you saw it didn't you!
Man.
Man, sorry. Which knight lives in that castle over there?
I'm 37.
What?
I'm 37 - I'm not old.
Well I couldn't just call you 'man'.
You could have called me Dennis.
I didn't know you were called Dennis.
Well you didn't bother to find out, did you.
I did say sorry about the old woman but from behind you looked like...
What I object to is you automatically treat me like an inferior.
Well I am King.
Oh King, eh? Very nice - and how did you get that, eh? By exploiting the workers - by hanging onto outdated, imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society. If there's ever going to be any progress...
Dennis, there's some lovely mud down here! Oh, how do you do?
How do you do, good lady - I am Arthur, King of the Britons. Whose castle is that?
King of the who?
The Britons.
Who are the Britons?
We all are, we are all Britons. And I am your King.
I didn't know we had a King - I thought we were an automitouse collective.
You're fooling yourself - we're living in a dictactorship, a self perpectuating autocracy in which the working classes..
Oh, there you go, bringing class into it again...
Well that's what it's all about, if only people would listen...
Please, please, good people, I am in haste. Who lives in that castle?
No one lives there.
Then who is your Lord?
We don't have a Lord.
What?
I told you - we're an anarcho-sinicist commune. We take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week...
Yes....
...But all the decisions for that officer have to be ratified at a special bi-weekly meeting...
...Yes I see....
...By a civil majority in the case of purely internal affairs...
...Be quiet!
...But by a two thirds majority in the case of...
...Be quiet, I order you to be quiet!
Order, eh! Who does he think he is?
I am your King.
Well I didn't vote for you.
You don't vote for Kings.
Well how do you become King then?
The lady of the lake - her arm clad in the purest shimmering cemite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by devine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your King!
Listen, strange woman lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony!
...Be quiet!
You can't expect to yeild supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you!
...Shut up!
I mean, if I went round saying I was an Emporer just because some moistened bint lobbed a semitire at me, they'd put me away!
Shut up, will you shut up!
Ah, now you see the voilence inherited in the system!
Shut up!
Come and see the voilence inherited in the system! Help, help, I'm being repressed!
Bloody peasant!
Oh, what a giveaway! Did you hear that? Did you hear that, eh - that's what I'm on about - did you see him repressing me, you saw it didn't you!