It's a rum old place is QueenZone, full of fruitcakes, charlatans and no-marks. No offence intended if you unfortunately happen to be one of the above. But if you sift through the dire and moribund, occasionally you might scoop the odd golden nugget which either tickles your funny bone or just makes you think. Rarely, it can do both.
But the following, in my most worthy and unarguable opinion, comes into that category - and for that very reason is the first recipient of the much coveted Flashman's 'Absolutely Capital' Award.
It's short but sweet, and I reprint it below for your viewing pleasure. Please raise your glasses in a toast to the inimitable...
***Bob The Shrek***
"When I was an undertaker I was called to a flat in the Wandsworth Bridge Road, London.
I hadn't even opened the front door and already the stench was wafting up my nostrils. I found the flat's resisdent in the toilet. He had died on the toilet some 3 months before, a single bar electric fire adding to the decomposition process - plus the dog had eaten a part of him before it died too. Maggots were everywhere - truly a disgusting site for anyone to behold.
Dirty bastard didn't even wipe his arse either ;-)"
Daburcor? · Member since
That was a great post... GREAT GOING BOB!!! :D LOL!
Mayboy · Member since
LOL That made me laugh, a well deserved win :)
Congrats Bob :D
look what they've done to claudi.... · Member since
congrats bob
Janet · Member since
Go Shwekky!!! :-D
siljeoen · Member since
Congrats!!:D
MexQueenFM · Member since
good post there Bob :)
Bob The Shrek · Member since
It is with great humility and a little tear in my eye that I proudly accept the inaugural 'Absolutely Capital' award.
I would like to thank Flashman for taking time away from servicing his fillies to decide upon this award scheme. I would also like to thank Fatty for not posting too much recently and thereby allowing me a shot at winning! Final thanks must go to the old man and his dog who lived in the flat, above the pine furniture shop, on Wandsworth Bridge road - without whose spectacularly nasty demise would not have made this award possible! :-)
Look out for further posts, such as: How to sex a body that has been hit by an InterCity 125 at Weybridge station, How soon after fishing a body out of the Grand Union Canal can I eat my cream cake and Is it wrong to make picture patterns out of someones blood and brains after emptying both barrels of a shotgun in their mouth.
Maz · Member since
"How to sex a body that has been hit by an InterCity 125 at Weybridge station,"
Hey Pal, what you do in your personal time is your business. There's no need to share your perverted sexual habits with us!!
Oh wait, misread that. Carry on.
Daburcor? · Member since
"Look out for further posts, such as: How to sex a body that has been hit by an InterCity 125 at Weybridge station, How soon after fishing a body out of the Grand Union Canal can I eat my cream cake and Is it wrong to make pictures patterns out of someones blood and brains after emptying both barrels of a shotgun in their mouth."
ROTFLMAO!!! I think the award should be taken back and then given to him again for that post! LOL!
Queenleaf · Member since
oh lol shrek and flashy!
Lester Burnham · Member since
These fucking award shows are always fixed. Maybe I'll win next month. And if I don't...
*grumble*
iGSM · Member since
Not on my shift. *sets Lester on fire*
Mrs.Taylor · Member since
Ewwwwwwwww! But LMAO!!!!!
dragonzflame · Member since
Bob should compile all his undertaker stories and put them onto a website.
