For just over 12 years now the great British public have been hoodwinked into believing that Freddie Mercury passed away on the 24th of November 1991.
We shed a few tears, we looked back on all those wonderful memories he gave us, we went out and bought the re-released Bohemian Rhapsody and 72,000 of us made our way to Wembley Stadium in London to give, as Brian May put it "The biggest send off in history".
So it may come as something of a shock to many of you when I tell you that for the past 12 years or so Freddie Mercury has been living in a three bedroomed semi in Edinburgh.
"Come on then Fatty, get to the punchline" I hear you ask. Well I am truly sorry folks but there is no punchline. I am completely serious and for once I can back it up with facts.
My suspicions first arose some time around 1998 when after surfing the net I discovered that Freddie (contrary to popular belief) was 100% hetrosexual. It may come as something of a shock to many of you when I tell you that for many years Freddie was involved in a relationship with a young woman called Mary Austin. How can it be possible for a gay man to live with another woman? I looked back on some of Queen's old videos and made some startling revelations. In the video for 'Crazy Little Thing Called Love' Freddie can be seen cavorting with a woman in a leather waistcoat and denim shorts. Any self respecting homosexual would not be seen within a million miles of a scantily clad female. Later on Freddie released a solo single etitled 'I Was Born To Love You' and the video shows Freddie chasing an attractive young lady through a house. If Freddie was truly gay would he not have insisted on someone like Larry Grayson or John Inman to chase around?
With every passing day I was convinced that Freddie was straight.Then on the 24th of November 1991 Freddie died as a result of AIDS. It was only then that I conceded. As everyone knows, AIDS only effects the gay community and Parisian whores. There was no point in fooling myself any longer and as time went on I accepted that Freddie, in a moment of madness played Mr Wobbly hides his helmet with another man and ultimately paid the price.
fatty
wow its so amazing I read a book about something like this...I love it!Thanks for your time