Top Trumps

And I'm not talking eggy pumps either!

Once again I'm harking back to those cherished schooldays way back when.

Anybody remember or in fact still play top trump card games?

Whiling away the dinnerhour with your 'horror' cards, smirking to yourself as you get round to King Kong and choose physical strength, crying out loud as your opponent picks anything as you hold Fu Manchu.

Trains, cars, planes, ships, dinosaurs, motorbikes and the like. Oh how we lived!

You can shove your pokeman or gameboys right up your arse.

Top trumps I salute you.

*wipes tear from eye*

FLASHMAN'S TOP TRUMP CARD:

Name: Flashman

CHARM: 100
CHARISMA: 100
MAGNETISM: 100
WIT: 100
COURAGE: 28


I would make a fine card, but ultimately beatable.

FATTY'S TOP TRUMPS CARD

Name: Fatty
Waist: 38
Hairs on Head: 11

fatty.

Banquo's top trump card

Age - Old enough to know how to suck eggs
Weapon - Of Love, yeah baby, yeah
Special Abilities - Appearing in spectre-like form
Sex - Every fucking Preston Guild after last shitting year. Bastard.
Waist - Ed, especially at the weekend.
Height - Between a Hobbit and the Green Cross Code man
Toilet - Trained, thank you very much I'm not an animal.

Hmmm, not quite sure how you are going to win a round of trumps with that card Banquers, you old wag.

Hmm seems like a little club has started here for blokes of a certain age...

We need a secret handshake.

Only if you wash yours first Archie, you old whoremaster.

Miss James, I have no quarrel with you sniffing around Sir Archie, he's a fine figure of a chap after all. But at least have the decency to bring along a friend to make up the numbers with his old pal Flashy. Especially seeing as it's just been his birthday and all.

*Sits staring at wine glass, which is clearly half empty when it should be half full*

My dear Miss James below you will find a link to a game of top trumps.

You'll find all the above Queenzoners are experts so please do not challenge them to a game.

*large drag on fine cigar*

Myself and Flashman often partake of a game on a Tuesday evening at the Lancaster Reform Club. Members only of course.

http://www.puncher.co.uk/hum_trumps.php

That ain't Top Trumps we're playing at the Reform Club, sunbeam.

No wonder you lose so much money every week.

Here's a blast from the past for you all:

http://uk.geocities.com/write12001/cards
http://uk.geocities.com/write12001/cards2.htm
http://uk.geocities.com/write12001/cards3.htm

It's about time those were updated TM or those gone AWOL returned.