Q. Why is John Deacon listed as Deacon John in the credits of Queen's first album?
A. In the early seventies it was advisible to have a clergyman appear on your record if you wanted to avoid being affiliated with satanic bands. Certain bands (Led Zep, Black Sabbath, Cilla Black) were all devil worshipers and as such found themselves banned from church halls or conservative council run venues.
Queen got around this by putting John through four years of theology at Leicester University. Not only could John play bass at concerts, he could carry out weddings, christenings and funerals if the need arose. Sadly John was excommunicated after an unfortunate incident involving a choir boy and a half bottle of communion wine. By the time Queen 2 came along he was back to plain old John Deacon.
Q.Has John ever released a solo album?
A. John released a solo album in 1989 entitled 'Man In The Shadows' John denies that the album is autobiographical but the track listing is as follows.
1. The Quiet Place.
2. All I Want Is To Be Alone.
3. The Hermit's Song.
4. Who Needs Friends?
5. Go Away.
6. Stick Your Band Up Your Arse.
7. Fuck Off and Leave Me Alone.
8. The Hermit's Song (reprise)
Q. How many children does John have?
A. When John was last seen in public (chairing a Cow & Gate shareholders meeting in 2002) he had 27 children, 58 grandchildren and 211 great grandchildren. A recent census has claimed that 77% of children born in England since 1967 can be traced back to John.
Q. Why does John avoid anything connected with Queen these days (eg. The musical, the pepsi commercial, the Nelson Mandella benefit concert)?
A. There could be a number of reasons why John no longer wants to be associated with Queen. Perhaps he has grown jaded of the showbusiness lifestyle. Perhaps his wife no longer lets him out of the house unaccompanied, for fear of finding him in a lap-dancing bar. The most likely scenario is that John still has a shred of dignity left in his body and the thought of dragging a once great band's name through a never ending stream of boy bands and pre-teen sluts makes his blood rum cold.
Q.Were Freddie and John ever lovers?
A. Yes.
fatty.
nil · Member since
Well done Chap!
David Jones · Member since
I really wanna hear Man In The Shadows now! More great work Fatty!
ilizarov · Member since
"A recent census has claimed that 77% of children born in England since 1967 can be traced back to John."
- lol that is fantastic.
chancelloramethyst · Member since
I knew there was truth to the John/Freddie rumours!
Thanks, fatty!
-Amethyst
siljeoen · Member since
LMAO!! Fatty,-you`re the best!!
Nickipee · Member since
"6 - Stick Your Band Up Your Arse"
Was that the one released as a double A side with My Band Went to Rio, And All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt?
Nicki
stevelondon22 · Member since
I will say fatty, on this occasion that that was VERY FUNNY!!!!
You made me laugh so much hehe. u nutter
Keep on rockin matey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111
Fenderek · Member since
1. The Quiet Place.
2. All I Want Is To Be Alone.
3. The Hermit's Song.
4. Who Needs Friends?
5. Go Away.
6. Stick Your Band Up Your Arse.
7. Fuck Off and Leave Me Alone.
8. The Hermit's Song (reprise)
LMAO
fairy_mercury · Member since
just whats needed to cheer me up hehe ;D
Josuè · Member since
this is one of the most hilarious posts you ever made, fatty!
Daburcor? · Member since
"A recent census has claimed that 77% of children born in England since 1967 can be traced back to John."
ROTFLMAO!!! Those Deacons have been BUSY. @_@
Little_Queenie · Member since
You're crazy, LMAAOOOOO:)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Oh fuck off fatty, now i started to cry because of too much laughing and my make up is ruined:(((((((( Now have to do it all over again, you.... you.. grrr
