For those of you who might not be familiar with her, Delia Smith is a posh TV cook here in the UK and here are a few tips and hints if, like me, you're an avid kitchen dweller *cough* ;)
Delia's Way:-
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
The Real Woman's Way:-
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for God's sake. You're probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway.
Delia's Way:-
When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking tin, use a bit of dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
The Real Woman's Way:-
Tesco sell cakes. They even do decorated versions.
Delia's Way:-
If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a potato slice.
The Real Woman's Way:-
If you over-salt a dish while cooking, tough shit. Please recite the Real Woman's motto - "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes."
Delia's Way:-
Wrap celery in aluminium foil when putting it in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.
The Real Woman's Way:-
It could keep forever. Who eats it?
Delia's Way:-
Brush some beaten egg-white over pie-crust before baking for a beautiful glossy finish.
The Real Woman's Way:-
Sainsbury's frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg-white over the crust.
Delia's Way:-
Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
The Real Woman's Way:-
Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and drop it in 8 ounces of vodka. Drink the vodka. You might still have the headache but who gives a shit?
Delia's Way:-
If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
The Real Woman's Way:-
Why do I have a man?
And finally, the most important tip ...
Delia's Way:-
Freeze leftover wine into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
The Real Woman's Way:-
Leftover wine?????? HELLO!!! Anybody home or what? Not in THIS house!!!
Mrs.Taylor