During the summer (or whenever your summer is, to you folks in Oceania), every day plays out almost exactly the same for most of us, with minimal changes - like having to hear our alarm clocks go off eleven times before we haul ourselves out of bed one morning, instead of the usual ten. To spare us from boring each other half to death for the rest of August, I have created a daily plan for myself based around the events of today. It is working out remarkably well, and if I continue to use this plan, I might come to school alive on the first day. As opposed to coming to school dead, which is what I will do on the next 179 days when I have it.
Feel free to share your own daily plan. I need a laugh. If you would like to come in and insult this topic, feel free to do that too, but you should probably be aware that I'm PMSing as we speak.
Here goes.
***
7:45 A.M. - Get shaken awake from a peaceful sleep by mother.
7:50, 7:55, 7:56, 8:00, 8:05 - Get shaken awake from a peaceful sleep by mother.
8:10 - Shower.
8:15 - Come downstairs dressed in non-matching clothes, imported from Planet Geeksandgeeks.
8:19 - Come downstairs again, dressed (at the insistence of mother) in normal clothes.
8:20 - Breakfast.
8:31 - Get shaen awake from a peaceful sleep by mother, who informs me that I need to take six-year-old brother to daycare.
8:33 - Wake up brother.
8:35, 8:37, 8:38, 8:40 - Wake up brother.
8:45 - Breakfast.
8:50 - Take brother to day care, stopping en route to examine every living or dead insect found on the ground along the way.
9:15 - Return home. Coffee. Log onto Queenzone. Chat with sister about recent illegal activities performed on Boston rooftops. Chat with Sarajane (FreddiesGhettoTrench). Make several posts on Queenzone. Head off to Pearl Jam forum, where all hell has broken loose for the second time in six minutes.
9:45 - Coffee.
10:02 - Breakfast.
10:35 - Attempt to call Margo and wish her happy birthday. Discover that phone, having been left out of charger all night, is dead and needs to be revived.
10:40 - Return phone to charger. Read manga that I purchased at bookstore yesterday, for no other reason than that it looked interesting and was on sale.
11:30 - Attempt to call Margo. Phone dies after three seconds.
11:40 - Lunch.
12:15 - More manga. Half of characters are dead by now.
12:35 - Breakfast.
1:19 - Another attempt to call Margo.
1:20 - Return phone to incinerator - erm, charger. Attempt to get some exercise.
2:00 - Mail. Bridge Bulletin has arrived, informing me that I have acquired seven-tenths of a masterpoint this year, and that my partner (namely, my father) has acquired 3,496,072.
2:05 - Feed fish.
2:06 - Feed frogs.
2:07 - Feed turtles.
2:08 - Feed snake.
2:10 - Discover that neighbor's cat has taken refuge in the basement.
2:25 - After removing cat, feed arachnids.
2:30 - Finish manga. All interesting characters have died.
2:40 - Coffee. And ibuprofen.
2:41 - Attempt once again to exercise.
2:42 - Queenzone and PJ forum update. Hell still breaking loose on the latter.
2:53 - Post this topic.
That's it up to the present, but this sounds like a good plan to follow daily, especially since it may result in me destroying the telephone and doing a great service to my household. It also means that I don't have to go the aquarium and babysit the octopus anymore.
Thread
Posts in chronological order
Get up 4pm
Smoke
Shower 415pm
Dinner 535pm
Here or visiting until 8pm
Work 9pm
Finish Work 7am
Snack and watch friends til 8am
830am BED!
Lots of smoking inbetween.
Oh yeah, I work nights, im not weird!
Pretty boring really. But I get drunk all weekend!
Smoke
Shower 415pm
Dinner 535pm
Here or visiting until 8pm
Work 9pm
Finish Work 7am
Snack and watch friends til 8am
830am BED!
Lots of smoking inbetween.
Oh yeah, I work nights, im not weird!
Pretty boring really. But I get drunk all weekend!
So you're going to wish Margo a happy birthday every day now, eh? She must feel really special.
Anyway, this is what a day in my life looks like:
[too incoherent to acknowledge times]Wake up, fall out of bed...find way downstairs and eat breakfast...fall asleep...wake up, drag comb across head...
[6:45a]Notice own lateness...find coat...grab hat...head to work.
[7:00a]Arrive at workplace.
[7:00a-3:30p]Work.
[3:30p]Head home.
[3:45p]Arrive home.
[3:45p-11:00p]Computer. Dinner. Computer. Guitar.
[11:00p-morning]Sleep.
Anyway, this is what a day in my life looks like:
[too incoherent to acknowledge times]Wake up, fall out of bed...find way downstairs and eat breakfast...fall asleep...wake up, drag comb across head...
[6:45a]Notice own lateness...find coat...grab hat...head to work.
[7:00a]Arrive at workplace.
[7:00a-3:30p]Work.
[3:30p]Head home.
[3:45p]Arrive home.
[3:45p-11:00p]Computer. Dinner. Computer. Guitar.
[11:00p-morning]Sleep.
Me and one of my friends talked about this some days ago. We have a tendency of grasping a wild idea and then bulding up a whole story. We eventually make it so crazy we can't even laugh at it anymore. Anyway, we made this one based on a character which apparently is "me" (this is based on story so old and wild that we do not even attempt to explain how I became THIS and she became The Evil. It's just how it is, OK?). It's important to explain that this is VERY exaggerated and that actually I lead a meaningful life *cough*
11:00 - silence
12:00 - utter silence
13:00 - a finger shoots out from underneat the blanket and hits the "on" button to a computer which is conveniently placed right next to the bed.
13:10 - The entire blanket stirrs, then moves. It jumps out of the bed and huddles itself into an office chair. Two hands can be seen from underneath it, furiouly tapping at a keyboard, and from within the deepest folds of the cotton bedsheet there can be seen two blinking, large eyes.
13:30 - A humanoid creature crawles out from underneath the blanket, which at once falls quiet in the chair now that its task is fulfilled. If one listens carefully, one can almost hear a faint sigh of happiness coming from the feathery blanket's soul, now that whatever inhabited it has gone. Meanwhile, the emerging figure makes it's way to the door, going through the entire human evolution on the way; crawl like Gollum - crawl like baby - stand up in the fashion of a disease-ridden old man - and eventually walk like human. The bathroom door opens and shuts.
14:15 - a weak sound of a door being opened can be heard. Minutes later, someone opens the fridge in the floor underneath. Someone's making an omelette.
15:00 - the blanket reluctantly gets inhabitated once more, despite it's attempts to play dead. In front of it's huddled-up appearance there is a keyboard and a plate with omelette and bread.
---
---
---
03:00 (night) - computer's off-button is being pressed. Figure returns to the bed.
11:00 - silence
12:00 - utter silence
13:00 - a finger shoots out from underneat the blanket and hits the "on" button to a computer which is conveniently placed right next to the bed.
13:10 - The entire blanket stirrs, then moves. It jumps out of the bed and huddles itself into an office chair. Two hands can be seen from underneath it, furiouly tapping at a keyboard, and from within the deepest folds of the cotton bedsheet there can be seen two blinking, large eyes.
13:30 - A humanoid creature crawles out from underneath the blanket, which at once falls quiet in the chair now that its task is fulfilled. If one listens carefully, one can almost hear a faint sigh of happiness coming from the feathery blanket's soul, now that whatever inhabited it has gone. Meanwhile, the emerging figure makes it's way to the door, going through the entire human evolution on the way; crawl like Gollum - crawl like baby - stand up in the fashion of a disease-ridden old man - and eventually walk like human. The bathroom door opens and shuts.
14:15 - a weak sound of a door being opened can be heard. Minutes later, someone opens the fridge in the floor underneath. Someone's making an omelette.
15:00 - the blanket reluctantly gets inhabitated once more, despite it's attempts to play dead. In front of it's huddled-up appearance there is a keyboard and a plate with omelette and bread.
---
---
---
03:00 (night) - computer's off-button is being pressed. Figure returns to the bed.
"But I get drunk all weekend!"
Now THAT is something to be proud of.
Not really. It should be something you think about stopping. A close friend of the families just died due to brain injuries he got by passing out on railroad tracks that were about 50 yards from his house. His blood alcohol level was almost 40%! .38 to be exact. You young people who think it's 'cool' or 'the thing to do' to get loaded every chance you get are sadly mistaken. Wake up. Life is fun to live. But it's not if your dead.
Now THAT is something to be proud of.
Not really. It should be something you think about stopping. A close friend of the families just died due to brain injuries he got by passing out on railroad tracks that were about 50 yards from his house. His blood alcohol level was almost 40%! .38 to be exact. You young people who think it's 'cool' or 'the thing to do' to get loaded every chance you get are sadly mistaken. Wake up. Life is fun to live. But it's not if your dead.
10 a.m. Awoken by the maid drawing back the curtains and placing a cup of Earl Grey tea by my four poster.
10.15 a.m. Adorned in Ferrari red dressing gown make my way to my ensuite bathroom for morning constitutional, shower and shave.
10.45 a.m. Take breakfast on the patio overlooking the front gardens. Fill hip flask.
11.15 a.m. Stroll around the grounds checking on the staff and peacocks. Quick snifter.
12.00 p.m. Arrange to meet Flashman at the Reform Club for drinks later in the afternoon.
12.10 p.m. Meet with stockbroker, horsetrainer, accountant and solicitor to make sure Leach Hall and its various enterprises are running tickety boo. Open the brandy.
2.00 p.m. Collected by Jenkins, my chauffeur, and driven the short distance to the Reform Club in my Model T Ford.
2.10 p.m. Arrive at Club, hand cape and walking stick to cloakroom attendent. Order a port at the bar and join the usual cronies in the gaming room. Various card games, dominoes and 'thing on head' are the order of the day and I usually lose a small fortune (usually when I have to guess 'Penelope Pitstop' during our second game of thing on head). Several cigars and ports later make tracks back to Leach Hall, where I have a dinner party to entertain.
6.00 p.m. As the weather has been very good for the time of year I have a rather large gazebo set up in the garden. The dining table is decorated with my best family silver and china ware. As well as the county's movers and shakers I've also taken the liberty of inviting one or two famous faces including Jeremy Clarkson (gets pissed easy)and wife, Sir Patrick Moore (asleep by dessert), Jo Blythe and Wincey Willis (amazing trick with pickled eggs). As the orchestra plays and the wine flows I mingle with Jo Blythe and in fact just Jo Blythe.
7.30 p.m. After a delicious meal of game soup, stuffed pheasant followed by a choc ice I invite Miss Blythe for a walk in the grounds by the lake.
7.50 p.m. Sit on the stairs by the old bandstand and look back to the house as fireworks explode and shimmer in the darkening sky. It's time to make my move...
8.00 p.m. I slowly regain my senses and find myself laid upon the ground with a sore cheek and Miss Blythe storming off in the distance. Reach for my mobile phone and call Flashy to meet at the Reform Club.
8.30 p.m. After kicking all my guests out for starting a Mexican Wave at the dinner table, I arrive at the Reform Club. After discarding my cape for my smoking jacket I enter the billiards room to join Flashman. Not a sign of the blighter. Ah well, drop of red while I wait for the blaggard.
9.00 p.m. Still no sign but receive a telegram from Flashman informing me he's had a car accident and won't be attending. He's taken the other driver back to the Towers for some first aid. Apparently its a young lady called Jo...oh ffs...Blythe.
9.15 p.m. Not feeling quite so dizzy anymore so decide to get up off the floor and get plastered.
10.30 p.m. Kicked out of Reform Club for defacing Flashman's name on Club's roll of honour.
11.00 p.m. Arrive home after Jenkins has deliberately taken the long and most curvy way home.
11.15 p.m. Bed and a tug.
A typical day in the life of Sir Archie Leach.
10.15 a.m. Adorned in Ferrari red dressing gown make my way to my ensuite bathroom for morning constitutional, shower and shave.
10.45 a.m. Take breakfast on the patio overlooking the front gardens. Fill hip flask.
11.15 a.m. Stroll around the grounds checking on the staff and peacocks. Quick snifter.
12.00 p.m. Arrange to meet Flashman at the Reform Club for drinks later in the afternoon.
12.10 p.m. Meet with stockbroker, horsetrainer, accountant and solicitor to make sure Leach Hall and its various enterprises are running tickety boo. Open the brandy.
2.00 p.m. Collected by Jenkins, my chauffeur, and driven the short distance to the Reform Club in my Model T Ford.
2.10 p.m. Arrive at Club, hand cape and walking stick to cloakroom attendent. Order a port at the bar and join the usual cronies in the gaming room. Various card games, dominoes and 'thing on head' are the order of the day and I usually lose a small fortune (usually when I have to guess 'Penelope Pitstop' during our second game of thing on head). Several cigars and ports later make tracks back to Leach Hall, where I have a dinner party to entertain.
6.00 p.m. As the weather has been very good for the time of year I have a rather large gazebo set up in the garden. The dining table is decorated with my best family silver and china ware. As well as the county's movers and shakers I've also taken the liberty of inviting one or two famous faces including Jeremy Clarkson (gets pissed easy)and wife, Sir Patrick Moore (asleep by dessert), Jo Blythe and Wincey Willis (amazing trick with pickled eggs). As the orchestra plays and the wine flows I mingle with Jo Blythe and in fact just Jo Blythe.
7.30 p.m. After a delicious meal of game soup, stuffed pheasant followed by a choc ice I invite Miss Blythe for a walk in the grounds by the lake.
7.50 p.m. Sit on the stairs by the old bandstand and look back to the house as fireworks explode and shimmer in the darkening sky. It's time to make my move...
8.00 p.m. I slowly regain my senses and find myself laid upon the ground with a sore cheek and Miss Blythe storming off in the distance. Reach for my mobile phone and call Flashy to meet at the Reform Club.
8.30 p.m. After kicking all my guests out for starting a Mexican Wave at the dinner table, I arrive at the Reform Club. After discarding my cape for my smoking jacket I enter the billiards room to join Flashman. Not a sign of the blighter. Ah well, drop of red while I wait for the blaggard.
9.00 p.m. Still no sign but receive a telegram from Flashman informing me he's had a car accident and won't be attending. He's taken the other driver back to the Towers for some first aid. Apparently its a young lady called Jo...oh ffs...Blythe.
9.15 p.m. Not feeling quite so dizzy anymore so decide to get up off the floor and get plastered.
10.30 p.m. Kicked out of Reform Club for defacing Flashman's name on Club's roll of honour.
11.00 p.m. Arrive home after Jenkins has deliberately taken the long and most curvy way home.
11.15 p.m. Bed and a tug.
A typical day in the life of Sir Archie Leach.
If it helps to ease your pain Archie, you old marrow, let me tell you that she was a most unsavoury mount and almost unsaddled me.
I'd be lying though, obviously.
I'd be lying though, obviously.
6am - wake up and check I am still breathing
rest of the day - who gives a fuck, I am still alive
rest of the day - who gives a fuck, I am still alive
Robert...
;-)
;-)
Im not getting regular holidays anymore- im working em, but thats all good i guess.
6.00 get up and havce breaky
7.10 leave with mum for work picking up sandwich on the way
10.30 break at work
12 busy period starts
(once every hour a person dressed in a bear suit comes out of the back room and calls himself Brewster)
2-4 work ends
4.30 eat something and go to bed cos im knackered
6 somebody wakes me up- its tea time
8 watch big brother (yeah i dont know why either) and anything else interesting thats on (mostly channel four)
9 come online and chat with u guys
12+ go to bed
6.00 get up and havce breaky
7.10 leave with mum for work picking up sandwich on the way
10.30 break at work
12 busy period starts
(once every hour a person dressed in a bear suit comes out of the back room and calls himself Brewster)
2-4 work ends
4.30 eat something and go to bed cos im knackered
6 somebody wakes me up- its tea time
8 watch big brother (yeah i dont know why either) and anything else interesting thats on (mostly channel four)
9 come online and chat with u guys
12+ go to bed
"But I get drunk all weekend!"
Now THAT is something to be proud of.
Not really. It should be something you think about stopping. A close friend of the families just died due to brain injuries he got by passing out on railroad tracks that were about 50 yards from his house. His blood alcohol level was almost 40%! .38 to be exact. You young people who think it's 'cool' or 'the thing to do' to get loaded every chance you get are sadly mistaken. Wake up. Life is fun to live. But it's not if your dead.
Matt, I work damned hard all week, I cant touch a drop of alcohol in the week because im a lorry driver. As soon as saturday comes I meet up with all my mates and we go out and get wasted. Youre post was bollocks, you make me out to be an alcoholic. Im 27, and resonsible enough for my own actions. I do as every other hard working Brit does, look forward to the weekend, so for you to suggest that I should 'wake up' is CRAP my friend. I love a drink, I like getting drunk and Im not different than anybody else. DO NOT LABEL ME.
"But I get drunk all weekend!"
Now THAT is something to be proud of.
Not really. It should be something you think about stopping. A close friend of the families just died due to brain injuries he got by passing out on railroad tracks that were about 50 yards from his house. His blood alcohol level was almost 40%! .38 to be exact. You young people who think it's 'cool' or 'the thing to do' to get loaded every chance you get are sadly mistaken. Wake up. Life is fun to live. But it's not if your dead.
Matt, I work damned hard all week, I cant touch a drop of alcohol in the week because im a lorry driver. As soon as saturday comes I meet up with all my mates and we go out and get wasted. Youre post was bollocks, you make me out to be an alcoholic. Im 27, and resonsible enough for my own actions. I do as every other hard working Brit does, look forward to the weekend, so for you to suggest that I should 'wake up' is CRAP my friend. I love a drink, I like getting drunk and Im not different than anybody else. DO NOT LABEL ME.
Okay, okay, we all like an occasional drink. In my case I prefer lemonade, but hey - technically, it is a drink! ;)
Hell, Sometimes I'm not even sure what day it is. I really wish I could sleep on a daily basis...
7.45AM - Wake up
8.00AM - Get out of bed
8.05AM - Get dressed
8.10AM - Wash my hair, shave etc
8.20AM - Go downstairs, have some breakfast
8.40AM - Contactlenses, brushing teeth, putting shoes on
8.50AM - Leave home
9.00AM - Start work
12.30PM - Lunchbreak
1.30PM - Work
6.00PM - Finish work.
6.10PM - Diner
6.30PM - Watch Home Improvement
7.00PM - Annoy newbies, tease Dark and behave like an asshole on Queenzone
10.30PM - Eat some potato-chips, have some drinks, watching some Simpsons/movies/x-files/etc.
0.30AM - Go to bed.
8.00AM - Get out of bed
8.05AM - Get dressed
8.10AM - Wash my hair, shave etc
8.20AM - Go downstairs, have some breakfast
8.40AM - Contactlenses, brushing teeth, putting shoes on
8.50AM - Leave home
9.00AM - Start work
12.30PM - Lunchbreak
1.30PM - Work
6.00PM - Finish work.
6.10PM - Diner
6.30PM - Watch Home Improvement
7.00PM - Annoy newbies, tease Dark and behave like an asshole on Queenzone
10.30PM - Eat some potato-chips, have some drinks, watching some Simpsons/movies/x-files/etc.
0.30AM - Go to bed.
Daily Routine? Not at the moment. School holidays - so i wake up whatever time i want to.