How can you tell a drummer's at the door?
The knocking speeds up.
How can you tell when a drummer's at the door?
He doesn't know when to come in
What do you call a drummer that breaks up with his girlfriend?
Homeless.
How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?
None: they have a machine to do that now.
What's the last thing a drummer says in a band?
"Hey guys, why don't we try one of my songs?"
What's the first thing a bass player says when he knocks on your door?
"Pizza Delivery!"
Why don't bass players ever catch a cold?
Even a virus has some pride.
How do you get two guitar players to play in perfect unison?
Shoot One.
What do you call two guitarists playing in unison?
Counterpoint.
What's the difference between a guitar player and a pizza?
A pizza can feed a family of four.
How do you protect a valuable instrument?
Hide it in an accordion case.
What happens if you play country music backwards?
Your wife returns to you, your dog comes back to life, and you get out of prison.
Why did John Deacon join Queen?
He wanted to hang out with musicians.
How do you get a rhythm guitarist to play softer?
Put some sheet music in front of him.
What's the range of the Red Special?
Depends on how far you throw it.
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Hehehe... those are awesome.
I only know two corny ones.
You should sing solo...
So Lo that no one can hear you.
You should sing tenor...
Ten or 12 miles away.
You should sing solo...
So Lo that no one can hear you.
You should sing tenor...
Ten or 12 miles away.
i've got one! i've got one!
HILARY DUFF!!!
ahahahahaha
*ahem*
i just had to...
HILARY DUFF!!!
ahahahahaha
*ahem*
i just had to...
Q: How many bass players does it take to put in a new lightbulb?
A: None. The keyboard player can do it with his left hand. Pwnd!
A: None. The keyboard player can do it with his left hand. Pwnd!
I liked these. I fancy myself somewhat the musician. Though, I don't see any pianist ones. ;)
...you can tuna piano but you can't tuna fish
...>.>
...<.<
...>.>
...<.<
...>.>
...<.<
...>.>
...<.<
Why did John Deacon join Queen?
He wanted to hang out with musicians.
God that one cracked me up and I don't know why.
He wanted to hang out with musicians.
God that one cracked me up and I don't know why.
I'm a choir girl, and my choir has written the book on my-voice-part-is-hipper-than-yours jokes.
Q: Hello, I'm an uninformed person who doesn't know anything about singing. What are the qualities of the voice parts?
A: Sopranos get high.
Tenors get paid.
Basses get low.
Altos get laid.
(Written by altos)
Q: What do you call a soprano who is kind and modest?
A: A fake.
(Written by tenors)
Q: What's the difference between a group of male strippers and an SUV full of tenors?
A: On the strippers, the weenies are on the OUTSIDE.
(Written by basses)
Q: What's the difference between an alto and a pit bull?
A: Eyeshadow.
(Written by sopranos)
Q: What is the distinguishing feature of an intelligent bass?
A: He insists that he can't sing.
(Written by tenors)
Q: What is the deadliest toxin available on the black market?
A: A soprano's voice.
(Written by altos)
Q: What do you call a tenor who is in heaven?
A: Lost.
(Written by sopranos)
Q: Why don't altos ever smoke crack?
A: They don't need to. Their voices provide all the crack they need.
(Written by basses)
Q: How is a football player similar to a skunk?
A: In many ways, but primarily between the legs.
(Written by everyone)
Let me stress that we all love each other very much and that I am in fact dating a tenor, and these were all written in a joking manner. Except the last one.
Q: Hello, I'm an uninformed person who doesn't know anything about singing. What are the qualities of the voice parts?
A: Sopranos get high.
Tenors get paid.
Basses get low.
Altos get laid.
(Written by altos)
Q: What do you call a soprano who is kind and modest?
A: A fake.
(Written by tenors)
Q: What's the difference between a group of male strippers and an SUV full of tenors?
A: On the strippers, the weenies are on the OUTSIDE.
(Written by basses)
Q: What's the difference between an alto and a pit bull?
A: Eyeshadow.
(Written by sopranos)
Q: What is the distinguishing feature of an intelligent bass?
A: He insists that he can't sing.
(Written by tenors)
Q: What is the deadliest toxin available on the black market?
A: A soprano's voice.
(Written by altos)
Q: What do you call a tenor who is in heaven?
A: Lost.
(Written by sopranos)
Q: Why don't altos ever smoke crack?
A: They don't need to. Their voices provide all the crack they need.
(Written by basses)
Q: How is a football player similar to a skunk?
A: In many ways, but primarily between the legs.
(Written by everyone)
Let me stress that we all love each other very much and that I am in fact dating a tenor, and these were all written in a joking manner. Except the last one.
How can you tell when a drummer's at the door?
He doesn't know when to come in
He'll just keep knocking, since that's what a drummer does, knocking would resemble drumming then
What do you call a drummer that breaks up with his girlfriend?
Homeless.
Drummers tend to be lazy and crazy about women. What do you get? You live in your girl's appartment.
How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?
None: they have a machine to do that now.
my personal opinion: Machines (or back to humans) and like I said, drummers are lazy in a twisted sort of way, they'll invent something to fix something instead of just fixing it
What's the last thing a drummer says in a band?
"Hey guys, why don't we try one of my songs?"
uh..well...it's just a joke... but if you must have an explanation, prolly drummers write bad songs or so
What's the first thing a bass player says when he knocks on your door?
"Pizza Delivery!"
just like pizza delivery guys they have a strange way of being in a permanent state of dullness
What's the difference between a guitar player and a pizza?
A pizza can feed a family of four.
when eating a pizza, four people can eat of it, whilst a guitarist does not earn enough money to support a family of four
He doesn't know when to come in
He'll just keep knocking, since that's what a drummer does, knocking would resemble drumming then
What do you call a drummer that breaks up with his girlfriend?
Homeless.
Drummers tend to be lazy and crazy about women. What do you get? You live in your girl's appartment.
How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?
None: they have a machine to do that now.
my personal opinion: Machines (or back to humans) and like I said, drummers are lazy in a twisted sort of way, they'll invent something to fix something instead of just fixing it
What's the last thing a drummer says in a band?
"Hey guys, why don't we try one of my songs?"
uh..well...it's just a joke... but if you must have an explanation, prolly drummers write bad songs or so
What's the first thing a bass player says when he knocks on your door?
"Pizza Delivery!"
just like pizza delivery guys they have a strange way of being in a permanent state of dullness
What's the difference between a guitar player and a pizza?
A pizza can feed a family of four.
when eating a pizza, four people can eat of it, whilst a guitarist does not earn enough money to support a family of four