Time after time; generation after generation, Queen Fans are born. And after the initial birth, or, as others like to label as "re-birth", a multitude of disposition presents itself to the Queen fan. It is a subconscious, inadvertent label which previously sat in existence of the fan, but was inactive upon actual discovery. Queen, like many hobbies and obsessions, is a common thread between fans; it is a link to which people find common ground when other grounds and opinionated platforms are not so common. Because of this, disregarding the common thread of Queen, fan classification and dissection is born.
Okay, enough jargon bullshit. In short (and in lamens, thankfully) Queen Fans are all different, hence the creation of the "Queen Fan Classification Chart." What is the classification chart you ask? Well, if you couldn't decipher the above paragraph (for which I couldn't blame you), then allow me to explain.
I have devised a specific chart built solely on the art of *satire, as well as the encounters with the other kind; Queen fans themselves. Observe the glory!
The many different faces of Queen Fans:
1. The elder Queen aficionado: This is the most envious and prestigious status of Queen Fans. Not only do fellow elders who know nothing about Queen fancy their mad skills to name a concert and its location, but this fan also has the newbies and youngsters drooling over their resume. It is an acquired status that many reach if they are patient and a bit obsessive. This Queen fan has usually been to at least one Queen concert before Freddie's death, thus creating an "Ahh yes, I rule" ore over many. But be careful; any wrong move or false fact will show up on the aficionado's bullshit detector, resulting in verbal humiliation fully equipped with an "I know more than you, as usual" tone.
2. The quiet Queeny: This person is usually quiet and neutral of their stance on Queen. They're the ones on message boards who usually promote peace by typing an "I love you all" thread followed by a spiritual release of a white dove. Typically, their goal is to love Queen, minus the drama. They do not over exert themselves by trying to recruit new Queen Fans, but fancy a good Queen-loving chat if initiated by others. Upon hearing a Queen bash by the commonly known "homophobe", the quiet Queeny will not further the drama, but rather, they will cry on the inside, then go home to write bad poetry. Be sure to be friends with the quiet Queeny, for they will not harm you with their surprisingly abundance of knowledge about the band.
3. The "I can't let my friends know I love Queen" Queen Fan: Commonly found in high school, this Queen fan is constantly tortured by his/her love for Queen in an environment where men straddling other men are manly and musical geniuses are fags. Typically, this fan is male, but there are females who fall under this status. Unlike the Queen Activist who constantly battles opposition, this fan keeps their retort on the inside with seething hate for those who hate Queen, all while trying to keep up appearances. It is a tough, almost degrading fan status, but a status nevertheless. Instead of hurting these fans (to which many wish to do), we must help them discover themselves. Or just give them chicken soup for the soul, I don’t know.
4. The Queen activist: If you're thinking "Are these the people who constantly defend Queen by never shuting up?", then you are fucking correct. Yes, they never shut up about Queen. They feel like they are Queen's lawyers when really, I'm sure Brian May, Roger Taylor, John Deacon and the ghost of Freddie could care less. The Queen activist is also the type of fan where all they listen to is Queen, and the rest is shit. I personally despise this fan.
5. The Greatest Hits Only junkie: This person’s favorite Queen song is ‘Bicycle Race’; they respond to “Does anyo
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OMG 3 is me dead on lmfao
God, do I love you or what?
[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Queen Of Wrestling<h6>Jamie's Bitch</h6> wrote: [/QUOTENAME]God, do I love you or what?[/QUOTE]
Yes, you do. Now where's my water, boy?
Cheers
Yes, you do. Now where's my water, boy?
Cheers
[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Ravenetta wrote: [/QUOTENAME]aww .... im none of those :([/QUOTE]
Which is quite possibly a compliment to yourself.
Cheers
Which is quite possibly a compliment to yourself.
Cheers
BRILLIANT!!!! This was great! I think this is a good reference chart for all of us and we should put the numbers next to our screen names just so we can be easily identified. One thing you should have added about the Freddie Freak is that we still get people trying to emulate Freddie by using phrases as "my darlings" or "my dears". This was an enjoyable read!
I'm probably number 4 :P
You forgot the anorak and the Stepford.
The anorak knows the difference between the Korean 7" edit and the GH2 album version to a millisecond. The Stepford is similar to no. 4, just a bit worse and he tells other fans they need to get laid:)
The anorak knows the difference between the Korean 7" edit and the GH2 album version to a millisecond. The Stepford is similar to no. 4, just a bit worse and he tells other fans they need to get laid:)
I'm a mixture between 3/4....I'm a confused child i know..
I'm not sure what my classification is, but it's not on that chart. ;-)
Hmm, I guess that makes me "The elder Queen aficionado"
As I saw Fred and the boys many times in their younger days, however, my memory for concert facts can get muddled, I guess that's the price for being an elder!
As I saw Fred and the boys many times in their younger days, however, my memory for concert facts can get muddled, I guess that's the price for being an elder!
I'm the Queen Activist hahaha. You bet! *winks*
[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]LeroyBrown11 wrote: [/QUOTENAME]I'm the Queen Activist hahaha. You bet! *winks*[/QUOTE]
Yay! i'm that too hehehe ;-)
Yay! i'm that too hehehe ;-)
Im definatley a 4
I'm the Freddie freak...he's my favourite thing!