Men are just simply happier people, and here is why...
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President. You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car Mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you are talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conservations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all of your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe even decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier!
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Your last name stays put. When I get married, no way in hell am I getting rid of my last name.
Chocolate is just another snack. It's just another snack for me, too.
You can be President. You can never be pregnant. Women can be president, too. And science proves that man can give birth, too. Unlikely, though.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
There's nothing preventing me from doing that.
Wrinkles add character. No, they don't.
You can play with toys all your life. So can I, and every other woman in the world.
PS: Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a wife.
That's one of the stupidest things I've read in a long time, even if it's meant to be a joke.
Good day. :-)
Chocolate is just another snack. It's just another snack for me, too.
You can be President. You can never be pregnant. Women can be president, too. And science proves that man can give birth, too. Unlikely, though.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
There's nothing preventing me from doing that.
Wrinkles add character. No, they don't.
You can play with toys all your life. So can I, and every other woman in the world.
PS: Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a wife.
That's one of the stupidest things I've read in a long time, even if it's meant to be a joke.
Good day. :-)
*rolls eyes*
'nuff said.
'nuff said.
Love it Mr. Mercury! Is it okay to forward? There are some I know who would so enjoy this!
So true. I've had dirt and grease under my finger nails for the past three weeks because of a ongoing car project. What little time I devote to grooming them is in fact done with my pen knife. It's not that I don't care, I just don't give a damn.
Very good list!
Very good list!
We can pee standing up...
Plus, if there's an emergency and no bathroom around all we need is a tree to hide behind. There's no need for us to ask another male to come along to make sure nobody is looking.
This goes to proof that God is a sexist male. Both Adam and Eve were about as guilty for biting the forbidden fruit, but Eve took most (if not all) of the shit once it hit the fan.
Think about it...
Women have to put up with periods, cramps, pregnancies, child birth, breastfeeding, and no choice but to raise a kid for the next 20 years of their lives.
Meanwhile, the only thing men have to put up with is wet dreams and morning wood, and that doesn't seem such a bad thing.
Plus, if there's an emergency and no bathroom around all we need is a tree to hide behind. There's no need for us to ask another male to come along to make sure nobody is looking.
This goes to proof that God is a sexist male. Both Adam and Eve were about as guilty for biting the forbidden fruit, but Eve took most (if not all) of the shit once it hit the fan.
Think about it...
Women have to put up with periods, cramps, pregnancies, child birth, breastfeeding, and no choice but to raise a kid for the next 20 years of their lives.
Meanwhile, the only thing men have to put up with is wet dreams and morning wood, and that doesn't seem such a bad thing.
Okay, since men are so happy about their ability to pee standing up, here is the story:
When God created the world he spoke to Adam and Eve and told them he had two gifts left to give away and each of them should get one. The first was the ability to pee while standing and Adam screamed "me, me!" so God granted it to him.
The other gift was the ability to have multiple orgasms
When God created the world he spoke to Adam and Eve and told them he had two gifts left to give away and each of them should get one. The first was the ability to pee while standing and Adam screamed "me, me!" so God granted it to him.
The other gift was the ability to have multiple orgasms
[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]<font color=336600>ChinesedogTorture wrote: [/QUOTENAME]Your last name stays put. When I get married, no way in hell am I getting rid of my last name.
Chocolate is just another snack. It's just another snack for me, too.
You can be President. You can never be pregnant. Women can be president, too. And science proves that man can give birth, too. Unlikely, though.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
There's nothing preventing me from doing that.
Wrinkles add character. No, they don't.
You can play with toys all your life. So can I, and every other woman in the world.
PS: Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a wife.
That's one of the stupidest things I've read in a long time, even if it's meant to be a joke.
Good day. :-) [/QUOTE]
Have I missed the point of your post, or did you not get the fact that its all a joke (including the sig part which I took from another site and reversed the husband/wife bit)?
Chocolate is just another snack. It's just another snack for me, too.
You can be President. You can never be pregnant. Women can be president, too. And science proves that man can give birth, too. Unlikely, though.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
There's nothing preventing me from doing that.
Wrinkles add character. No, they don't.
You can play with toys all your life. So can I, and every other woman in the world.
PS: Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a wife.
That's one of the stupidest things I've read in a long time, even if it's meant to be a joke.
Good day. :-) [/QUOTE]
Have I missed the point of your post, or did you not get the fact that its all a joke (including the sig part which I took from another site and reversed the husband/wife bit)?
[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]magicalfreddiemercury wrote: [/QUOTENAME]Love it Mr. Mercury! Is it okay to forward? There are some I know who would so enjoy this! [/QUOTE]
You can do so if you wish magicalfreddiemercury as its not mines to begin with. I just copied it from somewhere else :)
You can do so if you wish magicalfreddiemercury as its not mines to begin with. I just copied it from somewhere else :)
LOL! That's good!
Don't forget that we can take a shit anywhere
=)
well... I can take a shit anywhere
...
well, I guess I can shit anywhere
almost anywhere
...
nevermind
=)
well... I can take a shit anywhere
...
well, I guess I can shit anywhere
almost anywhere
...
nevermind
A few reasons, why it´s good to be a woman:
You can hold hands, share a chair and kiss in public, without people screaming "GAY!!!" at you.
You get to feel the first kicks of the baby.
You dont have to shave (at least not at winter time)
You can hide, getting turned on. (very nice in public :p)
You have a biological excuse, to scream at everyone (´specially your husband) for a few days, each month.
You can wear all colors, and all types of clothes.
Men look gay in pink and a miniskirt..
And best of all:
YOU´RE NOT A GUY!...
You can hold hands, share a chair and kiss in public, without people screaming "GAY!!!" at you.
You get to feel the first kicks of the baby.
You dont have to shave (at least not at winter time)
You can hide, getting turned on. (very nice in public :p)
You have a biological excuse, to scream at everyone (´specially your husband) for a few days, each month.
You can wear all colors, and all types of clothes.
Men look gay in pink and a miniskirt..
And best of all:
YOU´RE NOT A GUY!...
[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Ravenetta <h6> the QZ hippy</h6> wrote: [/QUOTENAME]yeah i dont want kids lol
i love it when people lecture me after i went to work that they have kids and a husband to take care of and a job and all i do is laugh lol, they didnt have to do all that! but its their choice[/QUOTE]
I dont want kids either!Not a fan of them and the idea of someone actually living inside of me for 9 months turns my stomach.
i love it when people lecture me after i went to work that they have kids and a husband to take care of and a job and all i do is laugh lol, they didnt have to do all that! but its their choice[/QUOTE]
I dont want kids either!Not a fan of them and the idea of someone actually living inside of me for 9 months turns my stomach.
I hate these stupid lists, and I hate being generalized.
[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Ravenetta <h6> the QZ hippy</h6> wrote: [/QUOTENAME][QUOTE][QUOTENAME]<font color=dark red>WhiteQueen wrote: [/QUOTENAME][QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Ravenetta <h6> the QZ hippy</h6> wrote: [/QUOTENAME]yeah i dont want kids lol
i love it when people lecture me after i went to work that they have kids and a husband to take care of and a job and all i do is laugh lol, they didnt have to do all that! but its their choice[/QUOTE]
I dont want kids either!Not a fan of them and the idea of someone actually living inside of me for 9 months turns my stomach.[/QUOTE]
yes thats one of the many reasons i dont want them XD its MY uterus! i wont share![/QUOTE]
I know how you feel.and then,while bein nice and lettin him/her live in your womb,they start kicking.how rude
i love it when people lecture me after i went to work that they have kids and a husband to take care of and a job and all i do is laugh lol, they didnt have to do all that! but its their choice[/QUOTE]
I dont want kids either!Not a fan of them and the idea of someone actually living inside of me for 9 months turns my stomach.[/QUOTE]
yes thats one of the many reasons i dont want them XD its MY uterus! i wont share![/QUOTE]
I know how you feel.and then,while bein nice and lettin him/her live in your womb,they start kicking.how rude