Your epitaph

This will cheer you up, you miserable bunch of bastards.

Ever thought about what you'll have on your tombstone when you snuff it? Some years off yet I hope, although maybe not for some of our fatter posters. I know, I know... these are your Vegas years and you will lose weight in the fullness of time, I don't doubt it. You're just big-boned is all. Aye, big arse bones, you great porky monster - get doing some exercise. Elvis wishes he could do a fucking sit-up, I'll bet.

But what will your epitaph be?

I was thinking for myself: "Here lies Flashman. Nothing new there then." Or maybe "I knew I should have stuck with BUPA", or "Here be Flashman. Aged 102. Only the good die young."

Christ, there'll be as many gloaters as mourners when I hand in my notice, no doubt. I don't know who'll be the most broken hearted: the women or my bankers. There'll be tears of woe, glee and probably hysteria, I reckon. I'll owe a damned fortune by then.

Here, what was on Bob Marley's tombstone? I bet it wasn't "Keep off the grass!" Chortle!

im going to have "95 years old and on a major stiff"

"finger-lickin' good!"

Definitely the potassium chloride.

Lived for many years, but it only took a few minutes.

Serry. 1982-2503.

"This bag is not a toy"

"Homemade Taste, Sealed Fresh!"

"IF YOU READ THIS, YOU'RE A CUNT"

"no really, im not dead."

"this is what happens when you put a fork in a toaster"


"coming soon: aylen! spinning!"

"yep, here i am"

"dammit. i wanted a pyramid"

"thanks, i tried."


"so uh, mom? i think nows a good time to tell you about the time i told you the cat ran away..."

"jokes on you, you get a lawsuit!"

"i said no!"

"herrrrrrrres aylen!"

"they lied. im over there"


"you thought i was kidding"

"shit. there goes the plans for immortality"


i dunno i plan on living forever, so far so good. :-P

[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]M a t i a s M a y<h6><i>QZ's Rainmaker wrote: [/QUOTENAME]"IF YOU READ THIS, YOU'RE A CUNT"[/QUOTE]
Wow.. That's profound.

"Gone to the land of big balls..."

"Guess I can't be 'Singing Forever' now..."

"Crack kills"

Don't try suicide unless you wanna end up here."

"Dorothy? I have a feeling we didn't survive the twister--- and I shouldn't have done that one thing in the cop's car."

"HA! Now I can watch you sleep, and that restraining order is worthless!"

"Had one too many pop-tarts"

"Needs a life- gone to eBay to get one."

"Is tired of writing stupid, unfunny epitaphs."

"Couldn't stop writing pointless epitaphs, so she put one to good use."

I don't think you lived that long Serry..unless you are some form of robot...you are, aren't you?

[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]iGSM wrote: [/QUOTENAME]I don't think you lived that long Serry..unless you are some form of robot...you are, aren't you?[/QUOTE]

You're going to eat him, aren't you?

"Mouth Wash?! We Don't need no stinkin mouthwash!"