Hello everybody,
My friend is in quite the pickle and she could use your help. Here's the situation:
My best friend has a boyfriend who treats her well. She couldn't ask for a better boyfriend or so she says. However, they seem to be fighting more and more as the days progress. Yet, she claims that they both love each other. The fact is that they are complete opposites yet they love each other. Its weird, but hey, this is what she's telling me. Also, she's told me that she's afraid that she got into the relationship way to quickly and took things really fast. She also says it's not her boyfriends fault. Her boyfriend took it as fast as she allowed and never forced her to do anything she didn't want to.
Now here's where things go insane:
Recently my best friend has met a guy who makes her feel good. She says that he fills that empty spot that shes missing from her boyfriend. However, this new guy says he doesn't want her messing with him because of her boyfriend. He doesn't want to jeapordize her relationship with her boyfriend. Seems like a nice guy? Right?
By the way, I've met this guy that my best friend just met. In fact, I've known him longer than she has. He seems like a nice guy. Except for the fact that him and my sister were caught making out drunk at a party. Then again I'm not to sure who's fault that was. I hope it wasn't his fault, because I would hate to see her get hurt. I know that my sister got hurt, but I'm not sure if it was his fault.
My best friend seems distressed and confused. She doesn't know what she wants. The reason I'm asking you all is because I'm her best friend and am very concerned about her. I care so much for her because she's helped me out in very depressing times. I can honestly say I love her, but obviously she'll never want me. I'm "just" a friend to her. I've gotten over that. If I can't have her as a girlfriend, then I might as well have her as a best friend (I'm not a lesbian, I'm actually a guy). Besides, the most important thing is, is that we're friends.
Anyway, thanks in advance for your help. I trully appreciate it.
Emily
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Hmmm....this is a really tricky situation. Well, I think that she needs to decide if she really wants to be be with her current boyfriend. Even if she does love him, it may not be healthy for them to fight all the time. If he really loves her, he will understand. :) As for the "new guy"...everybody makes mistakes, but I'm not exactly sure if that is the kind of guy that she should go out with. I don't know the guy...so I'm not going to judge him.... but he seems very nice because he doesn't want to interfere with her relationship. :) Then again...I'll just shut up because my advice isn't really helping... :S
I never knew that Emily was a boys' name.
wow this is kind of a sticky situation i mean he could hurt her but you never know
It's obvious that you want her, Mr. Emily...badly.
^No, I just care for her a lot. Its clear we were never meant to be. ;_;
My name isn't Mr. Emily by the way. Its Emily. Its supposed to be my opposite sex name. It makes feel sexy on Queenzone. ;)
My name isn't Mr. Emily by the way. Its Emily. Its supposed to be my opposite sex name. It makes feel sexy on Queenzone. ;)
[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Sexy Emily wrote:[/QUOTENAME]It makes feel sexy on Queenzone. ;)[/QUOTE]
You tried to say 'it makes me feel gay on Queenzone' ... right?
You tried to say 'it makes me feel gay on Queenzone' ... right?
I think this is one of those choices that she needs to make.
The only one that can help her is herself.
I don't know what the "question" is - if she should stay with her current boyfriend or leave him for another guy is what I think the question is...
Whatever choice she makes, she'll learn from it.
There's nothing you can do except wish her the best and hope she's happy. NO ONE but her can know if she's truly happy. Maybe her and current boyfriend are just having a hard time. Maybe they do really "love" each other. Your feelings for her might be impacting how you see this.
But unless her current boyfriend is okay with her seeing someone on the side, she would be wise to make a choice - before she ends up hurting other people and herself.
I'm guessing they're both about 17, so in today's world, it's not likely they'll stay together and get married for fifty years.
I also don't see why it's "obvious" she'll never want you.
The only one that can help her is herself.
I don't know what the "question" is - if she should stay with her current boyfriend or leave him for another guy is what I think the question is...
Whatever choice she makes, she'll learn from it.
There's nothing you can do except wish her the best and hope she's happy. NO ONE but her can know if she's truly happy. Maybe her and current boyfriend are just having a hard time. Maybe they do really "love" each other. Your feelings for her might be impacting how you see this.
But unless her current boyfriend is okay with her seeing someone on the side, she would be wise to make a choice - before she ends up hurting other people and herself.
I'm guessing they're both about 17, so in today's world, it's not likely they'll stay together and get married for fifty years.
I also don't see why it's "obvious" she'll never want you.
[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Sexy Emily wrote: [/QUOTENAME]^No, I just care for her a lot. Its clear we were never meant to be. ;_;
My name isn't Mr. Emily by the way. Its Emily. Its supposed to be my opposite sex name. It makes feel sexy on Queenzone. ;)[/QUOTE]
It's obvious you want her. Stop denying it. Also, stop denying your gender and tell us your real name.
Your entire post was wussy language for, "I want this girl and I'm so sad she doesn't want me so I'll talk about her relationships and figure out how to meddle with them instead and maybe she'll like me afterward."
My name isn't Mr. Emily by the way. Its Emily. Its supposed to be my opposite sex name. It makes feel sexy on Queenzone. ;)[/QUOTE]
It's obvious you want her. Stop denying it. Also, stop denying your gender and tell us your real name.
Your entire post was wussy language for, "I want this girl and I'm so sad she doesn't want me so I'll talk about her relationships and figure out how to meddle with them instead and maybe she'll like me afterward."
[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]<b><font color=666600>Music Man wrote: [/QUOTENAME][QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Sexy Emily wrote: [/QUOTENAME]^No, I just care for her a lot. Its clear we were never meant to be. ;_;
My name isn't Mr. Emily by the way. Its Emily. Its supposed to be my opposite sex name. It makes feel sexy on Queenzone. ;)[/QUOTE]
It's obvious you want her. Stop denying it. Also, stop denying your gender and tell us your real name.
Your entire post was wussy language for, "I want this girl and I'm so sad she doesn't want me so I'll talk about her relationships and figure out how to meddle with them instead and maybe she'll like me afterward."[/QUOTE]
OK, here's the truth. Yes, I do want her. And maybe I am a wussy. But, I have already asked her out when it was too late and she had already met the guy that would become her boyfriend. The timing sucked and I hate myself for it. I also wonder why is it that she went for this guy rather than me. What was I missing? Am I a reject? Will she ever love me more than a friend? She has told me that she had strong feelings for me when we first met (beginning of school year). But that seems to have changed.
Then I ask myself: Is their really this guy who she just met or is she just saying that to make me feel jealous and hopefully make my move again. I really don't know... ;_;
Should I tell her how I feel? What should I do? I'm so confused. I don't want to hurt her anymore than it already hurts for her...
And sorry, I can't display my real name. Its for my protection. Long story really...and I'd rather not get into that.
My name isn't Mr. Emily by the way. Its Emily. Its supposed to be my opposite sex name. It makes feel sexy on Queenzone. ;)[/QUOTE]
It's obvious you want her. Stop denying it. Also, stop denying your gender and tell us your real name.
Your entire post was wussy language for, "I want this girl and I'm so sad she doesn't want me so I'll talk about her relationships and figure out how to meddle with them instead and maybe she'll like me afterward."[/QUOTE]
OK, here's the truth. Yes, I do want her. And maybe I am a wussy. But, I have already asked her out when it was too late and she had already met the guy that would become her boyfriend. The timing sucked and I hate myself for it. I also wonder why is it that she went for this guy rather than me. What was I missing? Am I a reject? Will she ever love me more than a friend? She has told me that she had strong feelings for me when we first met (beginning of school year). But that seems to have changed.
Then I ask myself: Is their really this guy who she just met or is she just saying that to make me feel jealous and hopefully make my move again. I really don't know... ;_;
Should I tell her how I feel? What should I do? I'm so confused. I don't want to hurt her anymore than it already hurts for her...
And sorry, I can't display my real name. Its for my protection. Long story really...and I'd rather not get into that.
[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Sexy Emily wrote: [/QUOTENAME][QUOTE][QUOTENAME]<b><font color=666600>Music Man wrote: [/QUOTENAME][QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Sexy Emily wrote: [/QUOTENAME]^No, I just care for her a lot. Its clear we were never meant to be. ;_;
My name isn't Mr. Emily by the way. Its Emily. Its supposed to be my opposite sex name. It makes feel sexy on Queenzone. ;)[/QUOTE]
It's obvious you want her. Stop denying it. Also, stop denying your gender and tell us your real name.
Your entire post was wussy language for, "I want this girl and I'm so sad she doesn't want me so I'll talk about her relationships and figure out how to meddle with them instead and maybe she'll like me afterward."[/QUOTE]
OK, here's the truth. Yes, I do want her. And maybe I am a wussy. But, I have already asked her out when it was too late and she had already met the guy that would become her boyfriend. The timing sucked and I hate myself for it. I also wonder why is it that she went for this guy rather than me. What was I missing? Am I a reject? Will she ever love me more than a friend? She has told me that she had strong feelings for me when we first met (beginning of school year). But that seems to have changed.
Then I ask myself: Is their really this guy who she just met or is she just saying that to make me feel jealous and hopefully make my move again. I really don't know... ;_;
Should I tell her how I feel? What should I do? I'm so confused. I don't want to hurt her anymore than it already hurts for her...
And sorry, I can't display my real name. Its for my protection. Long story really...and I'd rather not get into that.[/QUOTE]
Did I call this or what? I'll await your applause.
What is missing? You answered it yourself: You are a wussy. You are the friend who will do anything for her - who would live and die for her. Her feelings changed because you started acting so incredibly clingy and insecure. This is the perfect way to get her to NEVER BE ATTRACTED TO YOU. In case you haven't figured it out, attraction is not a choice.
A girl doesn't choose to be attracted to a guy, it just happens. This attraction is primarily inspired by two things: confidence and humor. I can already tell that you have no confidence, and your self-esteem is lower than the Mariana Trench. Of course, even if you had humor, it wouldn't matter. Humor without confidence is goofiness. What a turn-off. Humor with confidence is what we like to call charm.
Now what do you do? Do you tell her how you feel? Hell no. That is like giving away all your power and telling the girl, "Here, you take it. And control me all you like. And never go out with me." You have to be confident around her. Almost to the point of arrogance, but you have to balance it with humor as to not come across as an arrogant jerk.
From now on, it's the Emily Show. Whatever she wants, whatever she needs - all of that stuff comes second to what Emily wants. Stay away from her until you've got this down, and when you come back, show her what you're really made of. She's going to be single again sometime, and then it's time for Emily to make...his...move. And by the way, stop doing what you're doing. All of it.
My name isn't Mr. Emily by the way. Its Emily. Its supposed to be my opposite sex name. It makes feel sexy on Queenzone. ;)[/QUOTE]
It's obvious you want her. Stop denying it. Also, stop denying your gender and tell us your real name.
Your entire post was wussy language for, "I want this girl and I'm so sad she doesn't want me so I'll talk about her relationships and figure out how to meddle with them instead and maybe she'll like me afterward."[/QUOTE]
OK, here's the truth. Yes, I do want her. And maybe I am a wussy. But, I have already asked her out when it was too late and she had already met the guy that would become her boyfriend. The timing sucked and I hate myself for it. I also wonder why is it that she went for this guy rather than me. What was I missing? Am I a reject? Will she ever love me more than a friend? She has told me that she had strong feelings for me when we first met (beginning of school year). But that seems to have changed.
Then I ask myself: Is their really this guy who she just met or is she just saying that to make me feel jealous and hopefully make my move again. I really don't know... ;_;
Should I tell her how I feel? What should I do? I'm so confused. I don't want to hurt her anymore than it already hurts for her...
And sorry, I can't display my real name. Its for my protection. Long story really...and I'd rather not get into that.[/QUOTE]
Did I call this or what? I'll await your applause.
What is missing? You answered it yourself: You are a wussy. You are the friend who will do anything for her - who would live and die for her. Her feelings changed because you started acting so incredibly clingy and insecure. This is the perfect way to get her to NEVER BE ATTRACTED TO YOU. In case you haven't figured it out, attraction is not a choice.
A girl doesn't choose to be attracted to a guy, it just happens. This attraction is primarily inspired by two things: confidence and humor. I can already tell that you have no confidence, and your self-esteem is lower than the Mariana Trench. Of course, even if you had humor, it wouldn't matter. Humor without confidence is goofiness. What a turn-off. Humor with confidence is what we like to call charm.
Now what do you do? Do you tell her how you feel? Hell no. That is like giving away all your power and telling the girl, "Here, you take it. And control me all you like. And never go out with me." You have to be confident around her. Almost to the point of arrogance, but you have to balance it with humor as to not come across as an arrogant jerk.
From now on, it's the Emily Show. Whatever she wants, whatever she needs - all of that stuff comes second to what Emily wants. Stay away from her until you've got this down, and when you come back, show her what you're really made of. She's going to be single again sometime, and then it's time for Emily to make...his...move. And by the way, stop doing what you're doing. All of it.
[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]<b><font color=666600>Music Man wrote: [/QUOTENAME][QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Sexy Emily wrote: [/QUOTENAME][QUOTE][QUOTENAME]<b><font color=666600>Music Man wrote: [/QUOTENAME][QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Sexy Emily wrote: [/QUOTENAME]^No, I just care for her a lot. Its clear we were never meant to be. ;_;
My name isn't Mr. Emily by the way. Its Emily. Its supposed to be my opposite sex name. It makes feel sexy on Queenzone. ;)[/QUOTE]
It's obvious you want her. Stop denying it. Also, stop denying your gender and tell us your real name.
Your entire post was wussy language for, "I want this girl and I'm so sad she doesn't want me so I'll talk about her relationships and figure out how to meddle with them instead and maybe she'll like me afterward."[/QUOTE]
OK, here's the truth. Yes, I do want her. And maybe I am a wussy. But, I have already asked her out when it was too late and she had already met the guy that would become her boyfriend. The timing sucked and I hate myself for it. I also wonder why is it that she went for this guy rather than me. What was I missing? Am I a reject? Will she ever love me more than a friend? She has told me that she had strong feelings for me when we first met (beginning of school year). But that seems to have changed.
Then I ask myself: Is their really this guy who she just met or is she just saying that to make me feel jealous and hopefully make my move again. I really don't know... ;_;
Should I tell her how I feel? What should I do? I'm so confused. I don't want to hurt her anymore than it already hurts for her...
And sorry, I can't display my real name. Its for my protection. Long story really...and I'd rather not get into that.[/QUOTE]
Did I call this or what? I'll await your applause.
What is missing? You answered it yourself: You are a wussy. You are the friend who will do anything for her - who would live and die for her. Her feelings changed because you started acting so incredibly clingy and insecure. This is the perfect way to get her to NEVER BE ATTRACTED TO YOU. In case you haven't figured it out, attraction is not a choice.
A girl doesn't choose to be attracted to a guy, it just happens. This attraction is primarily inspired by two things: confidence and humor. I can already tell that you have no confidence, and your self-esteem is lower than the Mariana Trench. Of course, even if you had humor, it wouldn't matter. Humor without confidence is goofiness. What a turn-off. Humor with confidence is what we like to call charm.
Now what do you do? Do you tell her how you feel? Hell no. That is like giving away all your power and telling the girl, "Here, you take it. And control me all you like. And never go out with me." You have to be confident around her. Almost to the point of arrogance, but you have to balance it with humor as to not come across as an arrogant jerk.
From now on, it's the Emily Show. Whatever she wants, whatever she needs - all of that stuff comes second to what Emily wants. Stay away from her until you've got this down, and when you come back, show her what you're really made of. She's going to be single again sometime, and then it's time for Emily to make...his...move. And by the way, stop doing what you're doing. All of it.[/QUOTE]
Thank you so much Music Man! I hadn't realized how I was coming across to her until now. I guess I should start taking more pride in myself. I suppose the main reason because I've lost so much pride in myself is because I've recently been fighting my sexuality. Not to say that I don't like girls, I've just had an attraction to men. I think the attraction to men is disgusting, but its something you just can't fight. I've tried for years, but obviously I've failed. Anyway, she's aware of my sexual desires and was the first to tell me that she saw it. She's the one that made me realize I was bi. That above anything would be a reaso
My name isn't Mr. Emily by the way. Its Emily. Its supposed to be my opposite sex name. It makes feel sexy on Queenzone. ;)[/QUOTE]
It's obvious you want her. Stop denying it. Also, stop denying your gender and tell us your real name.
Your entire post was wussy language for, "I want this girl and I'm so sad she doesn't want me so I'll talk about her relationships and figure out how to meddle with them instead and maybe she'll like me afterward."[/QUOTE]
OK, here's the truth. Yes, I do want her. And maybe I am a wussy. But, I have already asked her out when it was too late and she had already met the guy that would become her boyfriend. The timing sucked and I hate myself for it. I also wonder why is it that she went for this guy rather than me. What was I missing? Am I a reject? Will she ever love me more than a friend? She has told me that she had strong feelings for me when we first met (beginning of school year). But that seems to have changed.
Then I ask myself: Is their really this guy who she just met or is she just saying that to make me feel jealous and hopefully make my move again. I really don't know... ;_;
Should I tell her how I feel? What should I do? I'm so confused. I don't want to hurt her anymore than it already hurts for her...
And sorry, I can't display my real name. Its for my protection. Long story really...and I'd rather not get into that.[/QUOTE]
Did I call this or what? I'll await your applause.
What is missing? You answered it yourself: You are a wussy. You are the friend who will do anything for her - who would live and die for her. Her feelings changed because you started acting so incredibly clingy and insecure. This is the perfect way to get her to NEVER BE ATTRACTED TO YOU. In case you haven't figured it out, attraction is not a choice.
A girl doesn't choose to be attracted to a guy, it just happens. This attraction is primarily inspired by two things: confidence and humor. I can already tell that you have no confidence, and your self-esteem is lower than the Mariana Trench. Of course, even if you had humor, it wouldn't matter. Humor without confidence is goofiness. What a turn-off. Humor with confidence is what we like to call charm.
Now what do you do? Do you tell her how you feel? Hell no. That is like giving away all your power and telling the girl, "Here, you take it. And control me all you like. And never go out with me." You have to be confident around her. Almost to the point of arrogance, but you have to balance it with humor as to not come across as an arrogant jerk.
From now on, it's the Emily Show. Whatever she wants, whatever she needs - all of that stuff comes second to what Emily wants. Stay away from her until you've got this down, and when you come back, show her what you're really made of. She's going to be single again sometime, and then it's time for Emily to make...his...move. And by the way, stop doing what you're doing. All of it.[/QUOTE]
Thank you so much Music Man! I hadn't realized how I was coming across to her until now. I guess I should start taking more pride in myself. I suppose the main reason because I've lost so much pride in myself is because I've recently been fighting my sexuality. Not to say that I don't like girls, I've just had an attraction to men. I think the attraction to men is disgusting, but its something you just can't fight. I've tried for years, but obviously I've failed. Anyway, she's aware of my sexual desires and was the first to tell me that she saw it. She's the one that made me realize I was bi. That above anything would be a reaso
All I can say is that love isn't disgusting, and if you're in love with someone after lust has passed, you've found something worth fighting for.
Or at least being corny about.
And attraction just isn't worth fighting. I went through a long period of "finding myself" and I know it (well, I never fought it, but I was confused by it).
And if you're attracted to this girl... if you're too subtle, they may never take the hint - or she may be too shy as well. Same with anyone else.
And most of all - it loses the whole bloody point if you think about it too much.
Or at least being corny about.
And attraction just isn't worth fighting. I went through a long period of "finding myself" and I know it (well, I never fought it, but I was confused by it).
And if you're attracted to this girl... if you're too subtle, they may never take the hint - or she may be too shy as well. Same with anyone else.
And most of all - it loses the whole bloody point if you think about it too much.
[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]