The Ashes 06/07

Yes I know I'm a week late but the need to keep this country running is more important.

After 16 months of hurt, abuse and quite possibly slanderous text messages at gawd awful times in the morning I'm delighted to see the urn back in its rightful place.

So dear Flashman 5-0 in your cup final!
Look at his daft humiliated face.

Yes, yes. Do take that, England. Although I did like every single advertisement that was aired while it were

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dROB7_eZa14

I love cricket and particularly hurting Pietersen. Not so smuggety now, advances down the pitch boy?

Oh, I'm allowed to have one sore winner moment!

Teacher at school in Australia asks her pupils if they would tell the class what their dad did for a living.

First kid stands up and says 'My dad is a paramedic and rides in an ambulance all day, saving lives'. Next one stands up and says 'My dad is a construction worker and builds houses for people to live in'. Anyway, each kid in turn stands up and, finally, a little boy at the back stands up and says 'My dad claims unemployment, sits at home all week drinking beer but at weekends he dresses as a woman, goes into town, pole dances and sells his arse for $50 a go'.

The teacher dismisses the class but asks the little lad to stay behind. Once the classroom is empty she says to the little boy 'Is that really what your father is like?' and the little boy replies 'No Miss, he plays cricket for England and I was too embarassed to admit it'

LOL Bob.

This is off topic for this thread but what about Beckham moving to the USA to play soccer/football and getting $250 million over 5 years???!!! The press are really playing this up over here.

re ashes;
we let you convicts win this time coz its no fun on an open top bus in london in mid jan.
re beckham:
if it keeps his skank wife out of the uk he can go anywhere he wants

what do you call an aussie in a suit?
your honour

Beckham is an idiot. I say that based on the fact that he is a moron. Yes, that made no sense but I like my reasoning. '''POSH''' (if you can call her posh) Spice is also a half wit. No reasoning. Just take a look at her. You know I'm right.

We (Australia) were loaning it back to England for a couple of months so the entire team could receive MBEs for squat and have all the blood rush to their head.

In the end they're back where they belong. Suckeeeeers. Go play Bangladesh, h0h0.

[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Lisser wrote: [/QUOTENAME]LOL Bob.

This is off topic for this thread but what about Beckham moving to the USA to play soccer/football and getting $250 million over 5 years???!!! The press are really playing this up over here. [/QUOTE]

Evidently no one in the US actually watched the World Cup.

[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]iGSM wrote: [/QUOTENAME]Beckham is an idiot. I say that based on the fact that he is a moron. Yes, that made no sense but I like my reasoning. '''POSH''' (if you can call her posh) Spice is also a half wit. No reasoning. Just take a look at her. You know I'm right.

We (Australia) were loaning it back to England for a couple of months so the entire team could receive MBEs for squat and have all the blood rush to their head.

In the end they're back where they belong. Suckeeeeers. Go play Bangladesh, h0h0.[/QUOTE]

all our cricketers have signed up for strictly come dancing so the next ashes series will feature the following cricket legends:

simon cowell{opener and captain/will take no shit from you guys}
donny tourettes{opener/wont last long though}
ozzy osbourne{number 3/will score quickly but shaky in the 90's}
sharon osbourne{number 4/ideal to stopping ozzys shakes}
h from steps{used to being the 5th one in}
elton john{number 6/wicketkeeper/good with whipping bails off}
wayne sleep{number 7/good dancer therefore must be good at cricket}
kate price/jordan{number 8/good at avoiding bouncers}
leo sayer{number 9/likes oz conditions so much he will knock down doors with a shovel to get there}
gordon brown{number 10/soon to make this number his own}
tony blair{number 11/not much kop at anything but easy to blame when it goes tits up}
john deacon{12th man/will know where the strip joints are}

be afraid skippy!

Hahaha! Shit, I reckon we'd never contest the Ashes again after that!

Also I believe Leo Sayer has Australian citizenship now. I liked him doing the 'songs of Lennon/McCartney'. Pretty darn good.

Less national rivalries and more 'competing for a terracotta urn with either the ashes of a bail or a veil inside'.

Part from that I'm sure New Zealand is being given a flogging at the moment.

skippys 157 for 3 after 31 overs

now 164 for 4

and i think the yanks would roll their eyes into their sockets if they saw the size of the urn..lol

ps youve only got a replica of it.we wouldnt want a bunch of convicts to have the real thing :-]

5/283 now, hee-hee. Take that New Zealand.

Symonds and White just went beserk.

Oh, quiet you! :) We'll have the original one day!

[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]iGSM wrote: [/QUOTENAME]5/283 now, hee-hee. Take that New Zealand.

Symonds and White just went beserk.

Oh, quiet you! :) We'll have the original one day![/QUOTE]
so did mr bond with the ball...out,out and out!

That was a practice...that didn't really count!