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I want to find the cheapest electric guitar available so I can smash it onstage and settle a bet with someone.

Whats the absolute shittiest thing I can find that will live through maybe 2 songs before I go Chuck Norris on it's arse? I mean... if I could throw away good money on a Squire Strat or something I'd just do that but I mean... I'm skint. I need to go just a little bit lower.
Hmm... both excellent ideas. Hmm!
When they see you can play something on the most expensive guitar they have and then you play the same thing on the/a cheapest/cheaper guitar you can say 'I'll take this...for [x %] of the price off'. Except don't literally say 'I'll take this period period period for square bracket ecks percentage square bracket of the price off'

In fact if you do they might ring up the funny farm people. I want video footage of this smashing.
...this kettle is boiling over... ...one dump...one turd...two tits...John Deacon... ...one prawn...one shrimp...one clam...one chicken!
"In fact if you do they might ring up the funny farm people. I want video footage of this smashing."

You can bet your life on there being video if I can find a cheap enough guitar!

Maybe if I front up and tell them its for smashing they'll point me to something really lousy..... hmmm!
Is this fo' TAFE, yo?

I remember that...guy...he plays guitar with...that bass guy (Asiany looking, pretty effin' good on said instrument...Andy?). He ripped the strings off or hurt the strings badly after they finished playing My Generation.

Fuckin' stupid I thought but the crowd seemed to love it. How come they didn't love it when I crapped in my hand and put it on the walls at a university? Oh, that wasn't me. Some band that Richard told us about, heh.

Anyway EAT CAKE!
...this kettle is boiling over... ...one dump...one turd...two tits...John Deacon... ...one prawn...one shrimp...one clam...one chicken!
TAFE..... yep! I want to make an impression and I don't have any flash paper (yet).

Andy.... bass player... yep. I must've said hi to him about a million times but we still haven't had a conversation longer than a few words. Hmm - I am an antisocial cunt sometimes.....
I remember the first time I really interacted with you. You were drawing patterns on a piece of paper outside the instrument...place and I just gave you a casual nod. I thought at the time you were a weird sort of person and probably shouldn't say hello. Then when I came to get me Anthology many, many, many moons later I realised you were quite good friends and found it easier.

Plus...just smash one of their Strats! I'm sure they're insured.
...this kettle is boiling over... ...one dump...one turd...two tits...John Deacon... ...one prawn...one shrimp...one clam...one chicken!
"I remember the first time I really interacted with you. You were drawing patterns on a piece of paper outside the instrument...place and I just gave you a casual nod. I thought at the time you were a weird sort of person and probably shouldn't say hello. Then when I came to get me Anthology many, many, many moons later I realised you were quite good friends and found it easier."

You know... I remember both occasions pretty well actually!
The first time, I believe I was writing the word "BORED" over a huge stretch of A4 paper, using nothing but circles much smaller than these : o o o o o o o

"Plus...just smash one of their Strats! I'm sure they're insured."

OH.... oh I wouldn't dare! They'd hate me....

Incidentally, I performed again today and I have absolutely *no recollection* of what I played. I haven't even seen the tape yet, but it's going onto Youtube this evening.

*shudder* Honestly... my lecturer tried talking to me about what I'd been doing on the stage, and it was like he was talking about someone else.
Dare Chad to then. He'll do it. He can't decline a dare.

Ah yes. I couldn't remember the word but I remember it were circles. I'd seen you around a couple of times previous. I really didn't think the likelihood of me knowing someone off a message/notice board AND in real life was that high. Pretty cool though. We have some gooooooood stories to tell...probably?
...this kettle is boiling over... ...one dump...one turd...two tits...John Deacon... ...one prawn...one shrimp...one clam...one chicken!
"Dare Chad to then. He'll do it. He can't decline a dare."

The fucker is leaving TAFE, from what I've heard!!

"Ah yes. I couldn't remember the word but I remember it were circles. I'd seen you around a couple of times previous. I really didn't think the likelihood of me knowing someone off a message/notice board AND in real life was that high. Pretty cool though. We have some gooooooood stories to tell...probably?"

Quite possibly, I'm a lousy storyteller most of the time unfortunately....

Oh, by the way! Here's the 'performance' from today. About two weeks of increased heart rate, alcoholism, problems with people and a lot of anxiety have turned me into some kind of.... mental. I seriously cannot remember my performance today, and it scares me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xq3VVGvK0t8
To work on the farm? Fuckin' hell. What a wimp....wait. I left last year. Forgot about that. Damn you Adam Scott or whatever your name was.

That is the best thing I've ever seen. There was some shit played at that place. That ranks up there. I've not been disappointed at anything you've shown. One day I will be a guitar guy and people will say 'Awesome, look at you!'. Of course I'll be too drunk

Were you feeling particularly patriotic? Heh.
...this kettle is boiling over... ...one dump...one turd...two tits...John Deacon... ...one prawn...one shrimp...one clam...one chicken!
Also you are the best guitarist there bar none.

Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaybe I was a little better...was Tracey filming it? AS USUAL!?
...this kettle is boiling over... ...one dump...one turd...two tits...John Deacon... ...one prawn...one shrimp...one clam...one chicken!
"To work on the farm? Fuckin' hell. What a wimp"

Oh - extremely wimpy.
I think he was going to visit England, or live there, or something? I really don't know - he didn't actually tell me! This is 2nd or 3rd hand news by now...

"That is the best thing I've ever seen. There was some shit played at that place. That ranks up there. I've not been disappointed at anything you've shown."

I have!!!

"Were you feeling particularly patriotic? Heh."

I really can't remember what I was thinking. I've never completely blanked out like that before.

"was Tracey filming it? AS USUAL!?"

They always take their own video, but I make sure I bring my camera in so I can review it soon as I get home.

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