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As Roger and Alexis locked bodies in passion, Freddie wondered what in blazes John was up to. He had seen John act weirdly before. Let's face it, Freddie thought. John is one weird hombre. But Freddie had never seen John look as weird as today, clutching a book so tightly like claws.

"Give it Johnnie!"

"Noooo!"

"Don't make me punk you Johnnie!"

"Noooo!"

"Alright John, why wont you let me see the book?" Freddie asked. "Because it's my business..why do you always have to invade peoples privacy," John yelled. "excuse me? Who are you to tell me-FREDDIE MERCURY-that?!!!! ...

"John, if you don't calm down," Roger growled. "I'm really going to lose my head!"

"You've already lost half of it, in case you didn't notice," John pointed out.

"What is that supposed to mean, Freaky Deaky?", Roger asked. "I'm trying to have a private moment. Can't you guys just bug off?"

Freddie stared at Deacon John, and looked as though he was debating whether or not to really punk the boy. This time, Freddie thought, I think Deakie needs to taught a lesson! For his own good!

"Oh so its this again," John started, "the "leave me alone I'm too busy shit, eh?" ...

"W-What?" Roger asked incredulously? If you two lunatics haven't noticed, this is MY room, and um, I'm having a private moment here! DO YOU MIND?

Freddie ignored Roger's hormonic pleas. His eyes locked onto John's.

With a blur of a motion, Freddie pounced on John and had him soon pinned to the floor. "Alright Deakie. Let's see what you're up to, eh?"

Freddie flipped open the book, and found the page John was clutching.

"Oh so this is what's going on?" Freddie said with a smirk on his face. "Can you two pleaseeee take this somewhere else," Roger said, now frustruated. "No Roger, you're going to want to see this," Fred said...

"LET"S SEE WHAT DEAKIE IS UP TO!" Freddie repeated, this time a little louder. He saw the Ad and wanted to shame John Deacon for even thinking about turning to ESCORTS.

Dramatically, he showed the advertisement to everyone in the room. Roger stared at it quizically. John layed on the floor, broken. There was a moment of silence before everyone heard a woman's laughter. It was Alexis. She laughed, and said, "Oh that's my ad!"

The three boys turned their heads and looked at Alexis in shock.

"Oh please, I'm only kidding. I swear," she said. "Oh ok..well explain yourself John!," Freddie and Roger said. John...

John saw the three faces staring at him, casting their judgement. They couldn't understand. It was hard to be John Deacon. He simply got up, and left the room.

"Oh what a coward-walks out like that. I'll be right back," Freddie excused himself from the room. "take your time," Roger mumbled under his breath. ...

After Freddie left the room. Roger turned to Alexis, and joked, "So what's your going rate?"

Alexis gave him a mock angry look, and said, "Well, for pretty boys like yourself, I generally don't charge!" And with that, they both locked arms and began to kiss heavily.

Freddie grabbed John's arm and demanded: "What is this porn you're reading?"