what do guys like to do for the weekend? in a platonic way? holp holp!

Thanks peoples, i do feel a bit better about it having ranted, and heard other ppls opinions.  I guess it is true that i cant control what he thinks, all i can control is my own behaviour, and that is clear.  And i dont expect to end up in someones freezer, although i do know he has issues with anger about some stuff that happened with other people.  But i think his anger just amounts to shouting and ranting about it lol, not actually to hurtiing anyone.  And im going to try to minimise how much time i spend with him, and find excuses (i really do have my finals soon!).  i had offered to pick him up from the bus on thur, and he will need food then, and ill see him on sat and maybe part of sun, but otherwise ill try avoid him.  I dont think he actually is a psychopath, just not very socially aware, was raised in a fairly unorthadox way, and was (as far as i know) fairly isolated from people other then his family.  And he was raised very strictly also, so has possibly an odd view of girls.  Ah well, this time next week it will be nearly over. 
And i know its a wierd thread, and i hate constant advice seeking online, but i really appreciate peoples responses here, cos i genuinely am a bit bamboozled about how to handle it.

GratefulFan wrote: JoxerTheDeityPirate wrote: make sure you are not alone with him if you are that concerned,have a friend with you
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Dammit Joxer this is an ADVICE THREAD.  Who needs your pithy, reasonable practical man thoughts.  What we need are a minimum of four paragraphs of jasmine scented cautionary tales and philosophizing.  Please! ;)
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i was all out of jasmine scented Joxsticks..:-p
i promise it wont happen again,carry on philosophisinginginging.... ;-D

I would not want to meet someone wo has so little regard for other peoples' needs and wishes. Unless you explicitly invited him to visit you, you do not owe this person anything. It's always the nice and obliging people who are used by the not-so-nice and totally inconsiderate people. It does not matter if the pressure you feel actually comes from this guy or if it comes from your own feelings - you did  not create the situation, so you do not need to feel responsible.

on a side note,nothing decent has ever come from Belgium apart from that Van Damme bloke..
and Tin Tin doesnt count!

Technically, it would not be impossible for him to cancel the entire trip at this point, or at least the part of the trip that involves seeing you.  Usually hotels only require a 24 or 48 hour notice.  He could still fly to Ireland if that is what he really wants to do (which he might want to do if his tickets are non-refundable), and he could still get a decent trip out of it.  He would just have to change his hotel situation and not plan to spend time with you.  

If you feel uncomfortable in any way about seeing him (which you do), it is best to cancel.  Get it over with quickly and then you will feel relieved.

I once had a guy who was not at all attractive, and who I had never encouraged at all, invite himself over - just out of the blue (totally unexpected) to have dinner with me.  He said our mothers were trying to get us together.  Later I asked my mother about this and she knew nothing of it.  At first I accepted his inviting himself over, not wanting to be rude and not knowing what else to say at the time.  But then I worried and worried about it so much that I decided to just call him up and cancel.  He then tried to talk me into it saying "just as friends" and that sort of thing.  Never believe this!  Ha.  You just have to be firm sometimes.  Especially when someone seems to have an agenda.

I'd say cancel it as soon as possible in a very short, direct and clear message. Tell him you changed your mind and you have other guest in your home, without giving any further explanations. Don't answer replies to that message. Any form of attention will give him the idea that there is still a chance for him.

Finding another place to stay and ways to fill the weekend is his problem, not yours.
You don't owe him anything at all, although he might give you the feeling you do.

If he get's angry or obtrusive you have the prove that you made the right decision and he isn't worth your 'friendship'.
Real friends understand and accept.

If you still feel uncomfortable, be sure you're surrounded by real friends that weekend. Tell them why you want them to be with you.

Thanks guys, i had email from him today, its thur - mon, not tue.  And i talked to my friend and we have planned a group thiing for one evening, and either my family will have a crowd over on sunday or else ill go see my grandmother that afternoon, so ill be legitimately away.  I guess i feel partly responsible, cos in his first few messages i had thougth id give him a chance, and then he freaked me out after a few weeks (plus i thot he was 'friends' and just a particularly friendly friend, until a few weeks into messaging).  And i did tell him im around that weekend, and had at first looked forward to catching up, as we have a lot of friends in common, many of whom i havent seen for years.  So i told him today i will be away part of the time, but we can go do something on saturday.  So that isnt too much time, and we will be in public and in daytime, and i do know hes not going to attack me or anything, just im scared it will be awkward and uncomfortable lol. 
Thanks again everyone :D  ill keep u posted on progress :P

Go see a movie with him.  When the movie's about to start, go to the toilet - at least, tell him that's where you're going.  It'll be at least half an hour before he realises you're not coming back, by which time you could probably make it to an airport or something.

^written by a man of experience by the sounds of it lol

only do that if he's paid for the tickets otherwise you are wasting your money just to climb out of a window during the Pearl & Dean advert..

JoxerTheDeityPirate wrote: on a side note,nothing decent has ever come from Belgium apart from that Van Damme bloke..
and Tin Tin doesnt count!
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W-A-F-F-L-E-S. :)

lifetimefanofqueen wrote:

the "i have to much work" excuse is the same as "im female and im pissed off, keep the fuck away from me or i'll cut your nipples off" 
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Try to imagine some guy saying this about some woman. Publicly.  You're too young to be falling into mindless patterns of misandry Miss Julia.  That's a new word for you to look up. :)

YourValentine wrote: I would not want to meet someone wo has so little regard for other peoples' needs and wishes. Unless you explicitly invited him to visit you, you do not owe this person anything. It's always the nice and obliging people who are used by the not-so-nice and totally inconsiderate people. It does not matter if the pressure you feel actually comes from this guy or if it comes from your own feelings - you did  not create the situation, so you do not need to feel responsible.
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That Julian Assange email debacle was 10 times creepier than this kid! :)

GratefulFan wrote: JoxerTheDeityPirate wrote: on a side note,nothing decent has ever come from Belgium apart from that Van Damme bloke..
and Tin Tin doesnt count!
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W-A-F-F-L-E-S. :)
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i stand by my original comment ;-D
and the saxophone doesnt count either!

"That Julian Assange email debacle was 10 times creepier than this kid! :) "

Not everything flawed is a comparison :-)

Catqueen did not chat up this guy in a bar if I understood her correctly and Julian Assange never booked himself into a hotel near that alleged stalking victim and expected her to take care of her for days.

I hesitated in posting this, cos i dont want to spam lol, but im so glad i did.  I'm still stressing about it, but im able to laugh now, which is a vast improvement!  :D  And i know it will be really awkward at times, BUT i now have a plan and dont feel quite as bad about not letting him swing out of me for 4 - 5 days.  It really isnt my fault that he decided to fall for me (idk what it is about my facebook self, i keep getting random people hitting on me -- and not strangers, i mean ppl i went to college with who wouldnt have looked at me in college, old friends who used to travel with the same group i travelled with, etc.  its so odd).  Anyway, Thur i'll collect him and maybe get something to eat and then drop him off, fri i wont see him at all, nd then i only have to worry about saturday and sunday.  And if its dreadful, i will go visit my granny sunday.  So it wont last too long lol.