Make me laugh and win a prize

Hi there,

I've recently found a bunch of old Queen pin badges, 15 or so, in my attic.  along with a couple of sew on patches.  I'm never going to wear them (because I'm close to 40) and I don't want to throw them away.  So make me laugh and their yours. Don't worry about postage, I'll sort that, I just want them to go to a home where they will be loved.

paulosham

I'll announce the winner on the 12th one week from today May 5th

What's wet and tastes like red paint?
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Blue paint.

Thank you, thank you. I'm here all week.

http://http//www.youtube.com/watch?v=7JhaDMQH2mQ
hope the link works lol

they disposed of osame bin ladens body via swinging him into the see,
"we've found you now find Nemo...."

(russel howard performed it better)

What's brown and sounds like a bell?

Dung.

How about this :

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-13224130

*tickles*

The world's best anagram?

Osama Bin Laden = "Lob da man in sea"

Brian May told me this one:

How do you make a cat sound like a dog?

Cover it in petrol and set it on fire .... WOOF!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8gpjk_MaCGM

Send the prize to Graham Chapman, please.

Holly2003 wrote: Brian May told me this one:

How do you make a cat sound like a dog?

Cover it in petrol and set it on fire .... WOOF!

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Wait one minute.  Put it out.  'SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS'   Back to cat.

I'll try to spew some wisdom now.

There are 10 letters in "depression" and also in "fuck my life" but after all "life is good" has 10 letters too. Moral: I can count and shit

1 day to go you funny people

Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them. The bear sees the campers and begins to head toward them. The first guys drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on. The second guys says, "What are you doing? Sneakers won’t help you outrun that bear." "I don't need to outrun the bear," the first guy says. "I just need to outrun you."

I would just like to point out that fairness dictates that original material be given merit at twice it's assessed value.  So for example if you assessed my sizzling cat joke as "Terrible! I give that a minus 2!" I should in fact be given at least a minus 4.  Thank you.