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Thoughts on Thor Arnold and Lee Nolan's eleven year friendship with Freddie

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V
Hey! I actually just found out why the parents live gave me that issue and I've adjusted it. But I also have about 8 people who are going to be recording the Thor and Lee live as it's happening so there's no chance of it being lost in space lol. Actually, maybe it's just me but Freddie looks very much like Jer in my opinion, mostly around the bottom of the nose and the mouth. Although I think he looks like a pretty even blend of both Jer and Bomi, to be honest. And Kash looks just like Freddie, so I'm going to assume they were both born to Jer. Also, I've never heard otherwise so I'm going to guess there lol.

As for Mary, I think Freddie probably would have found it cruel. I say that because it's one thing to play a beard for the press and then go your separate ways with your real lover at the end of the night, but it's an entirely different thing to carry the title of wife home alone with you after the party. I think Freddie knew she loved him romantically even after their sexual relationship ended and asking her to pretend to be a proper wife would have hindered her ability (and possibly her desire) to date and move on with her life privately.

I think it was more a service to her that he didn't marry her for the full beard cloak, if I'm being honest. Glad you enjoyed the live! Hope it wasn't too boring!
C
Villers, I have really enjoyed you on utube you explain things so well I hope this meeting with Lee and Thor give people some insight and truth to some unanswered questions.Awesome job!
K
Welcome Mika! You'll always find interesting discussions here.

I actually think Freddie looked a lot like Bomi. Well, no, he didn't so much look like him as he had the same bone structure in his face as Bomi. Naturally I missed your Live on that topic Villiers so I hope it comes up on YouTube soon.
K
Jo you are correct about ticket prices for WWRY!!! They are running right around $50. That's so much better! I hope anyone interested in going wasn't discouraged by the ticket prices we saw before.
K
I can't remember or find who first mentioned the photo of Freddie and Jim arm wrestling. But are you sure you aren't thinking of the photo where Freddie is laughing and holding on to Jim's upper arm, and Jim is raising a fist to him in a mocking manner? They are very close together, but they aren't arm wrestling. When that topic first came up I was thinking that was the picture being referred to, so I took a look. Definitely not arm wrestling.
C
Katy, That definitely is a better price.
R
Longtime lurker, brand new poster here. Be gentle, please. ;-)


Villiers,

You mentioned that you thought Freddie knew Mary still loved him romantically after their physical relationship ended. I’ve wondered about this a long time and think you’re right. In interviews with Mary, it’s made to seem as if she was happy he was honest with her about his sexuality, she was supportive of him because she wanted him to be happy, they remained just good friends and she was fine with that, etc.

I’ve always had the feeling that Mary, in the back of her mind (and maybe not even consciously admitted to herself), hoped and believed that he would some day come back to her romantically, when he was done with “this other business” (as his mother may have called his behavior of dating men). Maybe she believed that as he got older and less “sexually charged” (as most of us do with age), that he would want to settle down with her, as he seemed to have so much trouble finding a stable romantic partner. I think this is why she seemed to feel more threatened by his relationship with Jim than with Freddie’s other, more volatile and transitory, relationships.

This is just my gut feeling. But it may also explain, Thor, why she was standoffish with his gay friends. Almost like she felt like they were working against her ultimate goal and keeping Freddie on the wrong side of the fence, so to speak. I’m not saying she necessarily thought this all out coldly and consciously, but that it was a feeling she had deep down. I do feel bad for her, in that sense, because I do think she continued to love him romantically and it held her back in a lot of ways.

It does seem like she never really attempted to move on in her romantic life in any kind of sustained way until Freddie was diagnosed and it was then clear to her that what she may have subconsciously hoped for would never happen. She had her first child when she was nearly 40 and seemed to try to build a separate life, though obviously that didn’t completely work out, as her relationships fell apart and she still lives in Freddie’s house.

I don’t want to get into the pro- or anti- Mary debate, but I do find the whole saga a little sad, especially for her. I would actually love to someday read a completely honest book by her, as I would find her insights fascinating, but I don’t think that will ever happen.
C
I'm not villers lurker but I dont feel a bit sorry for her she was a bitch.She wasnt in love she said it took her 3 years to fall in love with him that's about the time he got famous.She was a manipulator made him feel like shit.He probably was glad to leave town and get away a while she was like a leech.He didnt have sex with her for 2 years she said. That would be a red flag to me and I'm sorry she knew before he even told her he was struggling with his sexuality.She did everything she did for him because that was her way of keeping tabs on him .That's her problem everybody feels sorry for her.
E
Katydyd5 - The royal recipe book looks really interesting and I would love to get a copy, but after looking at the website, I have no idea how much it costs or how to pay for it. (Doesn't look like the normal VISA, MasterCard payment)

Villiers - do notifications get sent out when you go live? Since I joined your account-I got one notification, but noticed you had another live today and wasn't notified. Is that something on my end I need to fix?

Jim, Joe, Peter, and Mary were with Freddie until the bitter end. Anyone that has watched and been with a loved one when they are coming to terms with the end their life suffer as well. Hopefully, Freddie left this world knowing he was loved by those who truly loved him.
V
Totally! Yeah I get that feeling too, for sure. And you know, Mary was far from perfect (far...far lol) but I did love that she seemed to be one of the very few at the time of his coming out that really understood he was gay. It seems later on in life she hoped he was bisexual or something, but I think even then she knew what was up. I think it's just hard to watch someone you've known for years as one thing, live their lives as something completely different. And it's even harder if they find real joy and happiness living that different life without you. It can make someone with deep insecurities feel some sort of way. I have a gut feeling that may be why she held a sort of possessiveness over him throughout the years. That's part of the reason I almost wish Freddie had just cut it off with her in the 70s and not stayed in contact. Looking at Mary, its obvious she still loved him 'that way' and he just couldn't go with a woman anymore. So perhaps it would've saved her more heartache had he just made a clean break. It's hard to move on with your life when the person you love is also your boss, in contact with you, and right down the street. I'm sure that's why she was ok with Jim up until Freddie was diagnosed and Jim didn't leave. She must've seen him date a hundred men and none stayed. She may have taken some comfort in thinking he used men for sex and 'couldnt seem to find true happiness with a guy'. So when Jim stayed and she saw him become something to Freddie she never could...yikes.
E
Chevyman - couldn't have said it better - it's amazing how much my opinion has changed since I've joined this forum. I have been hot and cold with this topic, but when Thor mentioned his bad vibes, that was enough for me.
V
Hi Em! Yes, I've recently been told that to fix that, you would need to go to my page, click "notifications" and change it from "some" to "all" and that should do it!
R
Thanks for the reply, Villiers!

I was hesitant to start another Mary war but I find her story interesting and somewhat sad, just on a personal level. I know some people find her and some of her actions "bitchy" but, if so, I'd like to find the reason behind the supposed "bitchiness" and I don't think it's just that she's an inherently horrible person.
F
In Peter's second book he goes into this. Peter seems to think Mary did stay around so that when Freddie was done "with all that other business", she would be the first in line when Freddie was ready to settle down, get married, have children. Mary didn't really care much when Freddie was living in New York or Munich because there weren't any women around. Peter says that when Freddie became friends with Barbara Valentin, Mary seemed to feel threatened and became demanding, though he didn't explain in what way Mary became demanding. Funnily, Peter also says Barbara wasn't that same bawdy, fun loving person that she normally was when she was in Mary's presence.
E
Villiers -Got it - Thanks!!