Thoughts on Thor Arnold and Lee Nolan's eleven year friendship with Freddie

Stop The Madness, this next question is for you. Hope you like it.

Lee Peter talked about Freddie's type of man. Cab driver type lol. Thor told us he helped Freddie bag a guy he had his eye for a while. Did you guys all help him out in that department? I have a buddy who FREEZES in front of people he likes. He totally shuts down and it took myself and my other friend John to introduce him to the person he ended up staying with for 6 years. Was Freddie that way? Did he approach men himself or was he too shy? There always seemed to be two Freddies. The larger than life legend and then there was the shy guy that kept his eyes down. I'm guessing he was outgoing on stage and in groups of people he felt comfortable with but perhaps was more reserved in the company of those he didn't know too well

I think a lot of Gay men have two sides as you just described. Sometimes they are right out there going after who they want, and sometimes their shyness takes over and their friends help. Thor, correct me if I'm wrong, but I think I remember two kinds of hookups with which we helped Freddiie. On occasion it might be "hey my friend likes you but is very shy". My friends did that for me,on occasion, and shy I'm not....... and there was the situation where we would say "I have a special person who thinks you're hot. Come say ' HI' ". That's how I remember it anyway. I could be wrong in that memory, but I think when it came to that Freddie was a normal Gay man...........they see what they like, but rejection ALWAYS sucks.

Hey Dustin,
I think you are right on on everything you just said. Freddie the gregarious showman and friend but very shy about meeting strangers.
I think he was made fun of when he was a child (probably due to his teeth)...buckie is a horrible nickname for anyone while growing up.
By the way, most of the time when out together, I noticed this and would try to introduce him to people. He never asked me to.

Funny you guys say that, because it's something I noticed as well. Jim Hutton was approached by Freddie pretty boldly (lol) while Peter also told stories of Freddie asking Joe or Paul to approach men for him. Then again, he also said for weeks after Freddie first met Jim, he asked Joe to run into certain bars and see if Jim was there. Lol my friends and I do the same. I asked my friends to check to see if someone I had my eye on was a regular at her bar for a few weeks. I dated her for a year. She was bat sh*t nuts, but it was a fun year LOL.

Thor, I'm glad you guys were around to introduce him to people. I think you're right that he was bullied at school, and although it may have given him some tough skin, it's never easy to get rejected or laughed at. Seeing as he still covered his teeth with his hands when he laughed up until he died, I think it's something that was still always in the back of his mind.

Thor good point. I'm sure being picked on at school followed him into adulthood. He seemed to have a sense of humor about it in certain situations but deep down it was probably something that still bothered him a little. His teeth that is.

Lee that's great that you guys got together to help each other our like that.

Reminds me of the first time my older brother tried to hook me up with someone from school. He told me he would play it cool. He walked up to this girl, pointed at me, said something, then she made a face and walked away.

I asked him what he said to her and he replied "I told her you were shy but you wanted to ask her....baby, did you fart? Because you blew me away."



I sure hope you guys had better pick ups lines for Freddie and his men lol

I know this is gonna sound weird.........and I admit I myself...am a little weird......BUT I LOVE FREDDIE'S TEETH!!!!!!!! I WISH I COULD FIND MORE PICTURES OF HIM SMILING WITH HIS TEETH AND NOT PUTTING HIS HAND UP TO COVER THEM. HE HAD AN INCREDIBLE SMILE WITH HIS TEETH. The few pictures I have seen just make me smile more!!! I've worked in the Dental field for over 20 years and while Veneers and crowns make Lots o'money for the practice.....i HATE the homogeneous facade that this 'plastic ' society has thrust upon the masses!!!!! I encourage my patients to embrace their individuality!! If they have gaps in their teeth but their teeth are healthy.....why not embrace it.....it adds charm and character!! Whiten teeth??? Well, ok if your teeth are healthy....but NOT TO THE POINT THAT THEY ARE AN ARTIFICIAL WHITE!! I remember a time when 'capping one's front teeth just became a 'thing'....but Even then...you didn't want too perfect teeth As others would assume u had DENTURES!!!!!!!! Anyhoo......Freddie's teeth are one of his features that I REALLY LIKE and it makes me a little sad that he felt so insecure about them. Plus...they looked to be very strong and healthy teeth!! I also really like the slight speech impediment you can hear from time to time that his Overbite GAVE him.
After all my Freddie research these last eight months or so......my science nerd kicked in and I couldn't help but wonder if Fred"s Overbite contributed to his vulnerability to contract AIDS as you can see in some photos just how deep his overbite/overjet were And that allowed his lower anterior teeth to Supererupt.....and my experience with this kind of bite allows the lower teeth to penetrate into the soft tissue of the palate....therefore providing a direct route for infection by this open port????????? .....just a thought.......

Hi Thor and Lee,

Thor, it’s great to have you back…and Lee, so excited you have decided to join us. I knew this revised thread would prove to be popular!

Every now and then we are fortunate enough to meet people that we immediately know are destined to be our friends. Finding those people is one of life’s magic moments…Kismet! It sounds like you both had that with Freddie as he had with you. That so many people feel connected to Freddie who have never met him is testament to an immensely appealing quality he had.

I was wondering…was the social climate such during the early 80’s in NYC that you could be open in public about who you were dating? Apart from the relative comfort zone of the bars or Freddie’s apartment, would a person who saw Freddie out in a restaurant or walking along the street with Bill Reid have surmised they were a couple or did the need to remain private about his life preclude that possibility, even in NYC where he enjoyed a fair amount of anonymity? (Feel free to include what it would have been like for you during that time as well if that doesn’t seem too nosy)

Lee...you will enjoy the "Ask Phoebe" column. He always seemed like a gentle soul to me.

"Stop the Madness" is just a troll.....

I do want to ask about Freddie's attitude to public knowledge about his sexuality. It's widely thought that Freddie somehow hid his sexuality from the public, and it's true there are a few photos of him at events well into the 1980s when he has Mary beside him and Jim Hutton perhaps in the background. But from watching Queen videos, interviews, any available footage, it seems to me that Freddie didn't hide his sexuality per se, he just didn't come out publicly in the media. In fact there is an interview from the mid-1980s where a journalist asked him if "I want to break free" was written for the "gay world", and he answers that to start off with, it wasn't written by him, it was written by John who is married with 4 children.

While it seems Freddie valued his privacy, how concerned was he that the public would find out he was gay? Or did he not mention it?

Hi Thor and Lee. Where were the Freddie favorite clubs in New York and why?
I also see a photo with Heaven famous discoteque in London.

Do you think cruising was an insult to gay community?

Cruising the film, I mean.

Miraclestinway Freddie hinted at his sexuality on stage wearing gay club shirts and such but he was terrified of being outed. I've spoken with Freestone about it in the past. He used Mary and Barbara as beards but Barbara was just a friend, never a lover and Mary stopped being a lover in the mid 70s. He actively hid being gay in the press by holding Mary or Barbaras hand if press were around and making his boyfriends walk behind them. He also asked David Wigg specifically NOT to print that he was in a relationship with a man in the 1987 Ibiza interview when Freddie was talking about how happy he was with Jim. David asked "Can I say that its with a man?" And Freddie replied "NO! You mustnt say that!". That audio can be found in The Untold Story doc. It was one thing to hint about it, it was another to be outed. Remember that according to David Minns, Freddie's parents knew he was gay and confronted him which made him very upset and he also had to take the band into consideration. So he was made to feel some shame about it while also trying to explore it. It had to be hard. I believe it was Brian that said the band once had to tell Freddie to tone down the gay vibe in some song or album he was working on because they felt like it excluded their straight fan base. So he tried to venture out and was left trying to find a balance. He came out to John Reid and someone who ran the Fan Club years ago and said "I'm gay and I'm in love with a man but I can't tell anyone because it would ruin everything". That tells you right there..

I know that was for Thor and Lee to answer but I thought I'd toss that info in. Sorry

To add to Dustin's comment, I'm just gonna leave this photo here. Lol.


Like Peter Freestone said, Freddie never denied being gay. But I do believe he was very aware of what coming out would do to his career. Glam rock was all about the bisexual image, but being gay wasnt as accepted. Which is stupid, but that's how it was. Freddie was just not comfortable with coming out as gay at the time. I do wonder if he had made it to 2017, if he would have came out. It's a different time now...but I guess we'll never know.

Remember Villiers the glam artist in Elektra Jobriath. He said he was gay, and all US denied him everything....very sad and horrible story. Jobriath deserved being a star and not being insulted by his sexuality. At least, to me is the same proud being gay, heteresexual or bisexual. No matter that, matter the person in my humble opinion.