The Best Topic In The World....Ever!

Thou shalt not pleasure yourself in public places.

(yes..lame)

BillyBob: Pappy?
Pappy: Ye?
BillyBob: Pappy, how did yo' an' momma meet etch other?
Pappy: Lissen hyar sonnie, ah was eight years old when ah met yer momma....mah parents were so proud of their nooborn chile...an' back then ah guess ah was proud t'have a noo sister. So thass how ah met yer momma.
BillyBob: Was she purdy when yo' met her ?
Pappy: No, as ah reckon she was rather fat, wrinkly, shittin' an' pissin' herse'f all th' time an' ah reckon th' only thin' thet shet her up was a stiff slap on th' skull.

(lame, disgusting and stereotypical)

*laughith thyne self to death* Thyne Fatty hath one hell of a sense of humor.

And the Lord spaketh unto geeksandgeeks, "Go forth and spread the gospel of Queenzone!" And geeksandgeeks did such, and she spread the gospels of Queenzone on Synergy and Red Mosquito and IMDb and Murmurs and other such holy venues. And the Synergians said, "And why should we come to Queenzone, geeksandgeeks?*" And the Murmursians and Red Mosquitos and IMDbers gathered as well. And geeksandgeeks said, "Because the Lord spaketh to me and told me so."
And so the Synergians came in droves, and with them they brought trolls. And Queenzone turned upside down.

So the Lord said, "Let there be Queenonline."

And the Queenzoners said, "Very funny, Lord. We already know about Queenonline."

And the Lord's face fell, and he spaketh, "Oh." And the lord thought.

And the Lord thought.

And the Lord thought more.

And finally, the Lord had his "Eureka!" moment. "I know!" crieth the Lord. And the Lord spaketh in a deep country voice and He spaketh,

"LET THERE BE MISSISSIPPI!!!!!"

And the Queenzoners sent the trolls to Mississippi.

And the Lord smiledeth down upon his children and saw that it was good.

And the Lord did not notice Charles Baer.

*The Synergians know her as thewaxtadpole, the Murmursians know her as Pax Sklodowski, the Red Mosquitos know her as mandytheheadlessparakeet, and the IMDbers know her as mysticweevil.

Lo! It came to pass that fatty did offer his wisdom upon QueenZone and verily, the numpties of the Zone did not take guidance from his words but did balls it up to a very large extent. And fatty begat a right benny, and worked himself up into a great fury and popped his right bollock. And it was said that because of this rage, the numpties of QueenZone would have to suffer the return of Jake for a hundred years, or until such a time that they would earn forgiveness.
And they were well pissed.

And fatty did laugh.

For fatty was indeed the son of a bitch and took great delight in their displeasure.

And then Carol Vorderman came on.

And fatty did have a bit of a wank.

And then Richard Whiteley came on.

And the moment was lost.

Amen.

Jake the Hillbilly: "Hot Damn, etc. Slap my thigh and that. Look at dem beans! I'm in love with my tractor, got a feel for my oversized wheel. Get a grip on my combined harvester. Shag my pig and make the thing squeal."

*Scratches head.*

JAKE THE JERK JUMPS TRACTORS: IT'S OFFICIAL AND IT'S ONLY IN YOUR GLORIOUS SUN! +++ Tits Galore On Page 54.

We at your Glorious Sun, Britain's best selling daily bog paper, can EXCLUSIVELY reveal that convicted tractor rapist Jake Britt is set for a SENSATIONAL return to the nation's eighth favourite Queen based message board 'QueenZone'. One QueenZoner, Flashman, told the Sun "Fuck off, you scrawny looking bastard. Get off my land, or I'll have you shot to within an inch of your life." Another QueenZone regular, Danno said "LMAO!" whilst MexQueenFM roared "Ditto."
We thought up some hilarious Queen referenced song titles relating to this story that had us quite literally in stitches in the office:- 'Jake Wants To Break Free', 'I Want To Break Jake', 'I Want to Jake Free' - and then we ran out.
(Turn to page 4 for more EXCLUSIVE dirty photos)

PLUS! SEXY SAM'S SECRETS TO GINORMOUS JUGS - Pages 12,13,15,16,17 and 25.

Ah reckon thisere topics nuttin butta wayda make peepul sound stoopid. Guhd jaaab fatteh. Heyuck! *spits out his 'chew'.

And the Holy God said to Richard:"Let there be Queenzone" and then it was Queenzone.And the God saw that it was good and the people saw that it was good.But then Jake showed up and the whole place went to hell. Amen.

Lo, THy game burst forth fitfully accroos thy holy screen.

dangnabit Billy Sue, this here pitchfork sure make poking those pesky com-pu-ta buttons dang hard. MAAAA get me my shot-Gun, dang machines messing my bean crop, dang.

Please edit your post, Silent Assasin, you make the page unreadable.

That's a great game, fatty, but it would be nicer if we could talk about Queen- such a great band it was... IT STILL IS!!! Their music will never die...!!!! They were great, awesome, absolutely amazing!!! Oh My God, how wonderful music they created... How I love them- they're so great... They're HUGE!!! And Bohemian Rhapsody is the best song in last 3659 years- and all of them are so good, so unique... And their latest advert with such a great stars... And this duet with Robbie... And everything they've ever done- it's so freaking PERFECT!!!! They're so goog, god damn, they're so fuckin' good, absolutely bloody great... GREAT, GREAT , GREAT.....
That's what we shoul talk about- not some games- you're not a real fan, fatty....