You're all invited to a dinner party - except Charles Baer.

Muhammed Ali : To laugh at his current table manners.

Woody Allen : I'd just love the chance to tell him face to face that his films are all shite.

Carol Vorderman : The thinking man's crumpet.

Halle Berry : Crumpet, pure and simple.

Liv Tyler : You can never have too much crumpet.

Tony Blair : All the best dinner parties have to finish with a decent punch-up. Mine would also start with one.

If your dinner party is at all like Woody Allen's films, he's gonna be going home with all your crumpets. ;^)

Don't be daft, lass. This is Flash you're talking to!

That crumpet is for my consumption only.

Or strumpets, as the case may be ;-)

Crumpets, strumpets, humpets.

All the same to Flashy.

LOL Janet!

I was fully aware to whom I was speaking, Flashy, thank you very much. ;^)

Pass the crumpets, Flash, I'm starving.

my best friends lydia and joey, my "boyfriend" brent, and keegan hayley, and james

Bob the Shrek could regale us all with undertaker stories. That might be fun. Just for the amusement of that, my grandparents too.

I don't think you should invite Terry Gillam. He and Terry Jones might get angry at the direction of the table.. heh, read Monty Python SPEAKS!, it's quite funny.

I think I'd also invite Flashman so he could draw me a picture of a dinosaur.

Jeff Lynne
Tom Hanks
Louise Redknapp
Roger Taylor
Roy Keane
David Jason

Freddie
Angelina Jolie
Salma Hayek
and 3 other young Hollywood actresses

Of course you'd pick gorgeous Hollywood actresses, Mex ;)