TheMiracle
I think the Texas Chainsaw Massacure was more gross than scary! Many times I had to look away just so I wouldn't see what leatherface would do to his victims!
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Posts in chronological order
dragonzflame
Yeah, I was the same. I got very well acquainted with the red lights running down the aisle!
Bob The Shrek
Pizza isn't too bad, Flashy, but Spaghetti Bolognese conjures up a few images!
iGSM
Ooh, gruesome. Of death..
Oh yeah, kinda the point.
Oh yeah, kinda the point.
geeksandgeeks
Tell me, Bob (man, we are getting into the macabre here), what's your most popular kind of coffin?
I have a neighbor who is an undertaker, and he has some...interesting...thoughts on this.
I have a neighbor who is an undertaker, and he has some...interesting...thoughts on this.
~Silje~
What ideas? *pays attention*
Bob The Shrek
Geeks - the 3 main types of coffin I sold were: a light wood veneer chipboard, mahogany and oak. The veneer was the most popular because it was the cheapest - afterall, all you are going to do is burn it or chuck it in the ground. The handles were bronzed - which means they were plastic, sprayed to look like bronze, and couldn't be used to carry the coffin. This was so that they would melt in a cremator.
All coffins came with pale blue linings for men, pink for the ladies and white for children.
The worst case scenario I had for a funeral was a bloke who had no legs and still weighed 462lbs - his son ordered an oak coffin, which is a heavy bastard for a normal sized adult. Because of his weight, the coffin had to be specially made and looked like the flight deck of a small aircraft carrier - it took 8 of us to carry it on our shoulders and even then we struggled.
All coffins came with pale blue linings for men, pink for the ladies and white for children.
The worst case scenario I had for a funeral was a bloke who had no legs and still weighed 462lbs - his son ordered an oak coffin, which is a heavy bastard for a normal sized adult. Because of his weight, the coffin had to be specially made and looked like the flight deck of a small aircraft carrier - it took 8 of us to carry it on our shoulders and even then we struggled.
nil
Me and Horror films don't mix well,
my mate said I watched Silence of the lambs,
hannibal lecter and dog soldiers okies, but,
there not horror films are they?
my mate said I watched Silence of the lambs,
hannibal lecter and dog soldiers okies, but,
there not horror films are they?
dragonzflame
What if I hate pink? Am I doomed to an eternity in a candyfloss machine?
iGSM
Yeah.
I'll have mine orange. I don't care I can't have it. Make it so.
I'll have mine orange. I don't care I can't have it. Make it so.
Daburcor?
Bob, I think you should post a topic with a bunch of your stories, They're very interesting.
P.S. I want to be a Shrek too... *sniffle*
P.S. I want to be a Shrek too... *sniffle*
geeksandgeeks
[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Bob The Shrek wrote: [/QUOTENAME]Geeks - the 3 main types of coffin I sold were: a light wood veneer chipboard, mahogany and oak. The veneer was the most popular because it was the cheapest - afterall, all you are going to do is burn it or chuck it in the ground. The handles were bronzed - which means they were plastic, sprayed to look like bronze, and couldn't be used to carry the coffin. This was so that they would melt in a cremator.
All coffins came with pale blue linings for men, pink for the ladies and white for children.
The worst case scenario I had for a funeral was a bloke who had no legs and still weighed 462lbs - his son ordered an oak coffin, which is a heavy bastard for a normal sized adult. Because of his weight, the coffin had to be specially made and looked like the flight deck of a small aircraft carrier - it took 8 of us to carry it on our shoulders and even then we struggled. [/QUOTE]
Wow...that sounds like a right pain in the...
Anyway, I asked because my neighbor undertaker, whose son is one of my best friends, told me that when he's helping people plan their funerals, they always tell him that they want something very simple - just a pine box will do them fine. But then, when the time finally comes around, even if they don't order something ridiculously fancy (gold-plated box hand-carved with their initials in ruby or whatnot), they always get it lead-lined - so that the worms, etc. can't get in, he thinks, because the idea makes them all sick. I thought that was interesting, and I was wondering if it was the same with you.
Actually, it might be an interesting career (though not one I'd work toward) to be the person who applies makeup to corpses for their funerals. At least the clients would never complain about how they looked.
All coffins came with pale blue linings for men, pink for the ladies and white for children.
The worst case scenario I had for a funeral was a bloke who had no legs and still weighed 462lbs - his son ordered an oak coffin, which is a heavy bastard for a normal sized adult. Because of his weight, the coffin had to be specially made and looked like the flight deck of a small aircraft carrier - it took 8 of us to carry it on our shoulders and even then we struggled. [/QUOTE]
Wow...that sounds like a right pain in the...
Anyway, I asked because my neighbor undertaker, whose son is one of my best friends, told me that when he's helping people plan their funerals, they always tell him that they want something very simple - just a pine box will do them fine. But then, when the time finally comes around, even if they don't order something ridiculously fancy (gold-plated box hand-carved with their initials in ruby or whatnot), they always get it lead-lined - so that the worms, etc. can't get in, he thinks, because the idea makes them all sick. I thought that was interesting, and I was wondering if it was the same with you.
Actually, it might be an interesting career (though not one I'd work toward) to be the person who applies makeup to corpses for their funerals. At least the clients would never complain about how they looked.
Bob The Shrek
The only time we used lined coffins is for transportation abroad - and that is because it is a legal requirement. Why people would worry about worms is beyond me - they are dead!
You'd be suprised at how many complaints we had by family members, when they went to view their nearest and dearest, that we had got the hair/make up wrong - totally ignoring the fact that we didn't have a clue what they looked like when they were alive!
Rather than doing the make up, Geeks, have a go at actually undertaking and perfect the art of taking the piss out of the mourners without them knowing - great fun ;-)
You'd be suprised at how many complaints we had by family members, when they went to view their nearest and dearest, that we had got the hair/make up wrong - totally ignoring the fact that we didn't have a clue what they looked like when they were alive!
Rather than doing the make up, Geeks, have a go at actually undertaking and perfect the art of taking the piss out of the mourners without them knowing - great fun ;-)
Daburcor?
Oh my GOD! Being an undertaker sounds SO much cooler than being a wrestler CALLED undertaker! :O
dragonzflame
Hey Bob, how did you feel about Six Feet Under? Relatively true to life or the TV script writer's black art?