Invisible Man: John should have kept the hat

Round at Leach Hall yesterday evening for the usual Friday night snifters with Sir Archie, the old blancmange, we decided to pop the Greatest Flix 2 DVD on.

We were in a rare old state by this stage, communicating in no more than various gurgling sounds or an infrequent point. Archie could only open one eye and had his usual stream of drool from chin to belly. Occasionally he would spring to life with a great roar, shaking his head from side to side and spraying saliva everywhere like a bulldog just in from a rainy walk - but always sliding back into his accustomed position, perhaps omitting a slight fart on the way.

I think I had started to converse with the hat-stand by now (in fact if memory serves I seem to recall being a couple of quid down to it at five-card brag), but somehow Archie and I both managed to perk up when the 'Invisible Man' video came on. We both remarked how John has never looked better and if only he had discovered the Stetson 15 years earlier he could have been known as ‘the one with the hat’ instead of ‘old whatshisface’ which is what he is to outsiders, let’s face it.

Realizing I was sat in pizza, I decided to up and off while my last wits remained, pausing only to rifle through the now comatose Leach’s pockets. My discovery of a bit of old string and a 'Bazooka' bubble gum (circa 1976) didn’t improve my spirits any, so I helped myself to a bottle of Claret from his wine rack and made for home.

Despite the bath full of booze supped, I reckon we were right though – John Deacon never looked cooler. And I’m shockingly poor at five-card brag.

It looks like you had a very nice evening. I agree, I think John should have kept the hat...

Yep, nice hat.

After having read this Sir Archie dropped far down on my list of "Queenzoners I want to meet"...

I bet it's a short list, YV. Don't be too harsh on poor old Archie, he just never learns when it comes to mixing the grape and the grain.

This has set me wondering though - and I believe this is a question of huge import that needs answering...

Are there any other instances of Queen related hat-wearing occasions?
I think Freddie borrows John's fine stetson in the 'Invisible Man' video, but aside from the odd baseball cap now and again and Brian's top hat one time, I can't recall any others.

Shame, as a good hat can set off even the ugliest of faces. Cherie Blair really needs to get one.

I hated johns hat and i hated his afro i like crazy little thing called love john he looks so cute.

I like the idea of hats, though I dont think Id wear one myself. Some people seem to suit them, whilst others just look like real twats.

Come on, Flashman, Freddie wore all kinds of hats on stage - the leather caps, the hat in Paris 79, the police hat in Wembley 86, the sombrero in Mexico 81, the hat in Rio 85 (not on stage), the ugly caps with horns in the AOBTD video, the hat in the Magic video - I am sure I forget some.

I too hate johns afro mushroom perm, but when i see him in that hat i turn into a teenager at a busted concert! he looks so cute and i think it kinda suits him.

You're right of course, YV - there was a whole plethora of hat-wearing moments that I'd clean forgotten. It's the booze - it addles the old brain. Like Homer says "Beer - the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems".

But d'you know what? Fred comes close in 'A Kind Of Magic', but I still say John in the 'Invisible Man' vid is the coolest of 'em all.

A lesser known fact that Invisible Man was originally called Invisible Hat. Yeah, for no apparent reason. Henk!

Flashman you old thimble that claret has vast sentimental reasons. I stole that little blighter from my grandfather's winecellar.

Why didn't you take the bottle of L'Piat Dor?

Who says he didn't keep the hat?

'Im the invisable hat, im the invisable hat, incredible that u can, see right thru me'
Has visions of freddie dressed as a giant hat.
Nope, dont see that working...

I also gave the 'Concorde', 'Belnor' and 'Lambrini' a wide berth Archie, you old toerag.

I wasn't dragged up, y'know.