The newest limerick thread

It's been a long time so write away to your little hearts' content, people!

Sheila in Texas is smitten
With a man who did drum-ish hittin'
Yes, he is too old
And covered with mold
But he's sexy and cute as a kitten

There once was a man named Bob
He loved to show off his nob
He flashed it at Dave
And rubbed it on Jay
Who sucked it like corn on the cob

There was a young man from Iraq,
Who had holes down the side of his cock,
His boyfriend Umberto,
could play the concerto,
by Johannes Sebastian Bach.

There once was a shrek named Bob
who heard a permed poodle would sob
"There's no answer on the phone
or reply on Queenzone
Why do you think I'm a knob?"

A limerick to be sure
Should have five lines, no more
But if your're slick
You can get away with six
And it doesn't even have to rhyme.

There was once a man from Swotham,
Who took off his balls to wash em,
His wife said Jack,
If you dont put them back
I'll stand on the buggers and squash em.


Lol my boyfriend told me that one.

[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Banquo wrote: [/QUOTENAME]A limerick to be sure
Should have five lines, no more
But if your're slick
You can get away with six
And it doesn't even have to rhyme.[/QUOTE]
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Most poems rhyme, but this don't.

the once was a 'zoner' called POODLE
who put all Queenzone in a mood(le)
he's an ignorant shit
and a bit of a tit
with a penis the size of a noodle

There is a great band name of Queen,
The finest rockers that have ever been seen,
There's Brian and Roger,
But who's the old codger?
A washed-up, leather trousered has-been.

SHOWALTER: Do you know any Irish limericks?

BLACK: I do, it goes like this:

There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose rod was so long that he could get ball deep in that
And he'd be all, like, in it, and she'd be like, "Oh baby, don't stop, don't stop! That's my spot, that's my spot! Oh, but be careful because I'm ovulating!"
And then he'd be like, "It's okay, baby, don't worry, because I use the rhythm method!"
And then he shot his junk.

There was a young woman from Ealing,
Who had a peculiar feeling.
She had a great laugh,
Then jumped in the bath,
And pissed all over the ceiling.

There was an old man from Calcutta
Who was found lying dead in a gutter
The heat from the sun
Burned a hole in his bum
And melted his bollocks like butter.

For the dutchies I made a Queen related limmerick:

Er was eens een zanger uit Londen
Werd door heel wat mannen verslonden
Men zei hem al steeds:
Van zaad krijg je Aids
Nu heeft hij dat zelf ondervonden

Once when at the Queen's for tea
She asked 'Do you burp when you pee?'
I replied (with some wit)
'Do you fart when you shit?'
And felt it was one up to me.

There once was a boy named Jesse,
who's room was always messy.
He picked up his room,
by using a broom,
Because he wanted his room to be Dressy.