Yet ANOTHER new story, sorry if its shit

Roger looked at all the dials and buttons. It all seemed complicated. Where was Deaky when you needed the guy. He would know how to work this stuff. Roger shivered. He wished he'd thought to change out of his hospital nightie. He decided to go back to his room to see if he could get some warmer clothes. He opened the door. 'Ah crap...' he was staring into blackness. They were going so fast that the wind was pulling at his hair and face. He shut the door again. 'Wait Tardis, where are we going, stop!! AAAAGH!!'
THUD!!
Roger landed face forward. The Tardis door opened and seemed to tip him out. Hardly the most graceful of dismounts. He was so much better with cars. He felt the hairs standing up on the back of his neck. He had a funny feeling he was being watched. He felt goosebumps rising on his arms... no wait, that was because of the cold. Where was he?
He was lying in front of an enormous building. It was emitting a helluva lotta noise and smoke. It would look like a normal factory of mass production, except that the chugging noises were mixed with what seemed to be Ogre-Battle like screams. That lead Roger to a horrible thought. What if there were ogres inside? He presumed that this was a pop-group manufacturing place. This must be where his friends were being held prisoner. There was only one way to find out. Roger gritted his teeth and went through the big ENTRANCE sign hanging over the door.

Roger decided to take a look on QZ and noticed how sad some people are that they feel a need to create fictional stories about Queen.

A long corridor faced him. He could see a room with multicoloured smoke pouring out. He leant into the shadows and crept along the wall. If I were a kidnapped rock-group where would I be??? he thought to himself. The obvious answer was at the end of the corridor behind a door marked 'STORAGE ROOM'. Getting to the end of the corridor was relatively easy. There was so much smoke pouring out the open doors that no-one could see a thing. Roger turned the door. To his surprise it came open easily. Something big, Something MASSIVE stood in the doorway.

Thats all folks. I'm on holiday for two weeks and I'm leaving you with a cliffhanger. AAAHAHAHAHA. SEE YA!! HOW ANNOYING I AM!!

[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]the GIRLZ are back in town wrote: [/QUOTENAME]I'm leaving you with a cliffhanger.[/QUOTE]

Please don't the suspense is killing me.....

Fuck off Pieter and stop insulting other people's stories (mine and FreMeats) just because you are too lazy to make up your own doesn't mean you need to spoil other people's fun.

[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]the GIRLZ are back in town wrote: [/QUOTENAME]Fuck off Pieter and stop insulting other people's stories (mine and FreMeats) just because you are too lazy to make up your own doesn't mean you need to spoil other people's fun.[/QUOTE]

Too lazy?

More like I have better things to do with my time.

Yeah, Pieter..you're like SO lazy! Why don't YOU make some stories instead of doing your job! Asswipe! ;-D

Shit, this is out of order..LOL

[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]the GIRLZ are back in town wrote: [/QUOTENAME]Fuck off Pieter and stop insulting other people's stories (mine and FreMeats) just because you are too lazy to make up your own doesn't mean you need to spoil other people's fun.[/QUOTE]

YEah! You´re fucking anoying, did you know that???
Roger would be more frightended to see how little selfesteem some people have since they feel an iresistable need to ruin other peoples fun! Get a life before telling other people what to do!

[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]PieterMC wrote: [/QUOTENAME][QUOTE][QUOTENAME]the GIRLZ are back in town wrote: [/QUOTENAME]Fuck off Pieter and stop insulting other people's stories (mine and FreMeats) just because you are too lazy to make up your own doesn't mean you need to spoil other people's fun.[/QUOTE]

Too lazy?

More like I have better things to do with my time.[/QUOTE]

If you have better things to do with your time, why are you insulting people's stories? Is that really a valuable use of your time? No one cares what you have to say. Your just mean and negative.

OK... I'm kind of worried. Should I continue with this story. Only I don't know if everyone hates these stories and wants no more fictional stuff about Queen.

The guy was huge and erm... green. No it's not a misprint. Roger's first instinct was to scream a huge Ogre-Battle style scream. How appropriate as... as Roger opened his mouth he said, 'Hi I'm Shrek.' His voice then became panic-stricken. 'I-I I I haven't taken anything, I swear, I'm in the wrong room I-I' It was then Roger realised this guy was a bigger coward than he himself was. 'That's OK,' said Roger. I'm looking for my friends. They've been kidnapped by these evil manufactured Robot things. They are going to be brainwashed by them if I don't stop them.' Shrek looked down at Roger. He was still in a hospital nightie. He'd forgotten to change and it was flapping open slightly. Roger blushed and pulled it shut. 'Sorry,'
'That's OK its just... how do you plan to stop these people?'
So Roger explained the whole story. About how proper music would bring them down He had a great singing voice (he didn't say tha, Roger is a little more modest than that)and how they were taking over the music industry. 'Cool,' said Shrek. 'You are in the wrong place though. This is the Faiy Godmother's office. I'm trying to find a potion to woo back my Princess Fiona. But FG and I don't get on. So I need to be secretive.'
Suddenly the door to the potion room burst open. Freaky green people were brandishing guns at the two. They ran (Roger under Shrek's arm) to the tune of Ogre Battle. What else? trying to get away from them. They ran right into the potions factory were they were made

May I make a suggestion ? Perhaps you could have paragraph breaks, a line of white between the paragraphs ?

I'm just mentioning this since I find the story a little hard to read with just a glump of text ! I hope I don't sound critical or anything, that's not what I meant !

Have fun => :D

Oh Ok thanks for that and sorry about the difficult reading

I really like it!

woah. it's so funny how people can relate queen to animated characters. i love your story by the way. :)