Thanks again for your comfoting thoughts...
The funeral was yesterday.
It wasn't as hard as the wake, but close to it. I thought I had all my crying done after the wake. I walked in and was relieved I didn't burst into tears when I saw the casket. Of course right when I had a couple of sentences left of my eulogy, I was practically wailing and couldn't finish it...
But
The weather was beautiful. The funeral was beautiful. At the gravesite, the retired army officers shot their guns three times, my grandmother got a folded flag, it was all touching. I have an empty shell from it, too.
With this behind me, I think at least the worst of it may be over.
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I can't believe how composed and articulate your post is, given the circumstances. I know if I went through a similar situation, I wouldn't be able to express it as well as you.