So what makes you... You?
If you had to say one thing about yourself what would that be?
Do you think that is different from what others would say?
I just wonder how easy it is to have a better perception of yourself then others have. Which may or may not be justified. I mean in all honesty people just may not know you.
Which brings up another question...
Do you honestly care what people think about you? Not that "I am different and I dont care" pre-teen shit, but honestly you just dont care.. You are your own person and are just comfortable with being by yourself, sometimes even more then with others?
Discuss.
Thread
Posts in chronological order
I'm about to fart.
[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Micrówave wrote: [/QUOTENAME]I'm about to fart.[/QUOTE]
You're a fart?! :-O
That's a first. :-)
You're a fart?! :-O
That's a first. :-)
no, I said I was about to.
If I cared about what others think of me, I could always get a My Space page and compare how many friends I have. I say what's on my mind and don't try to "fit in" with the crowd. Uniqueness is what makes us the most interesting creatures on the planet next to lemurs. That and opposable thumbs.
If I cared about what others think of me, I could always get a My Space page and compare how many friends I have. I say what's on my mind and don't try to "fit in" with the crowd. Uniqueness is what makes us the most interesting creatures on the planet next to lemurs. That and opposable thumbs.
I am pretty sure that my opinion about myself is better than other peoples' opinion, I believe that's normal. Surely, we could not live with ourselves very well if we did not think well about ourselves:)
I take criticism seriously and always contemplate the possibilty that the other person is right and I am wrong. If I think that criticism is valid I change my attitude or behaviour, accordingly. However, my fundamental ethics and principles are not up for debate, I have spent many years of studying and learning to establish my ethical code.
What other people think about me affects me but only if I respect these people. I could not care less about what immature, superficial, stupid, uncaring, rude, ill-mannered and cynical people think about me.
That's a very interesting topic.
I take criticism seriously and always contemplate the possibilty that the other person is right and I am wrong. If I think that criticism is valid I change my attitude or behaviour, accordingly. However, my fundamental ethics and principles are not up for debate, I have spent many years of studying and learning to establish my ethical code.
What other people think about me affects me but only if I respect these people. I could not care less about what immature, superficial, stupid, uncaring, rude, ill-mannered and cynical people think about me.
That's a very interesting topic.
[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]<font color="#FF00FF">its_a_hard_life wrote: [/QUOTENAME]So what makes you... You?
If you had to say one thing about yourself what would that be?
Do you think that is different from what others would say?
I just wonder how easy it is to have a better perception of yourself then others have. Which may or may not be justified. I mean in all honesty people just may not know you.
Which brings up another question...
Do you honestly care what people think about you? Not that "I am different and I dont care" pre-teen shit, but honestly you just dont care.. You are your own person and are just comfortable with being by yourself, sometimes even more then with others?
Discuss.
[/QUOTE]
nice question ;-]
what makes me..me hmm?
im 37 and still say im different and i dont care,so its not just a preteen thing.i just get on with it and say sod it to anyone who wont let me be me and try to restrict my way of life.i can be difficult to fathom out to start with because of my height and demeanour,i like to party and can come across as intimidating to start with until people get to know me for who i am and not for the hardcore wrestler i look like.
apparantely a 6ft 7in and 16st pierced freak intimidates others ive been told.
but generally im just like Bagpuss now.tatty and a bit loose at the seams :-]
If you had to say one thing about yourself what would that be?
Do you think that is different from what others would say?
I just wonder how easy it is to have a better perception of yourself then others have. Which may or may not be justified. I mean in all honesty people just may not know you.
Which brings up another question...
Do you honestly care what people think about you? Not that "I am different and I dont care" pre-teen shit, but honestly you just dont care.. You are your own person and are just comfortable with being by yourself, sometimes even more then with others?
Discuss.
[/QUOTE]
nice question ;-]
what makes me..me hmm?
im 37 and still say im different and i dont care,so its not just a preteen thing.i just get on with it and say sod it to anyone who wont let me be me and try to restrict my way of life.i can be difficult to fathom out to start with because of my height and demeanour,i like to party and can come across as intimidating to start with until people get to know me for who i am and not for the hardcore wrestler i look like.
apparantely a 6ft 7in and 16st pierced freak intimidates others ive been told.
but generally im just like Bagpuss now.tatty and a bit loose at the seams :-]
[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]YourValentine wrote: [/QUOTENAME]
I take criticism seriously and always contemplate the possibilty that the other person is right and I am wrong.[/QUOTE]
That's just absolutely wrong.
I take criticism seriously and always contemplate the possibilty that the other person is right and I am wrong.[/QUOTE]
That's just absolutely wrong.
I'll think about that, Mr. Jingles :)
[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]<font color="#FF00FF">its_a_hard_life wrote: [/QUOTENAME]So what makes you... You?
If you had to say one thing about yourself what would that be?
Do you think that is different from what others would say?
I just wonder how easy it is to have a better perception of yourself then others have. Which may or may not be justified. I mean in all honesty people just may not know you.
Which brings up another question...
Do you honestly care what people think about you? Not that "I am different and I dont care" pre-teen shit, but honestly you just dont care.. You are your own person and are just comfortable with being by yourself, sometimes even more then with others?
Discuss.
[/QUOTE]
If I had to say one thing about myself...it would be the fact that I'm REALLY weird :P And it's not any different than what others would say. It's probably put even more nicely than what they would say XD And, honestly, I DON'T care what people think of me. I'm unique and different (which is pre-teen shit XD). They're not. Which is why people reject me most of the time. But I learned to accept it. It's all so stupid, also. Music tastes, clothes, friend choices. Bleh. And I most definitely AM more comfortable being by myself. Hence the long weekends with nothing planned! XD It doesn't offend me when people discuss me. Not at all. :P Woah this is long :D
If you had to say one thing about yourself what would that be?
Do you think that is different from what others would say?
I just wonder how easy it is to have a better perception of yourself then others have. Which may or may not be justified. I mean in all honesty people just may not know you.
Which brings up another question...
Do you honestly care what people think about you? Not that "I am different and I dont care" pre-teen shit, but honestly you just dont care.. You are your own person and are just comfortable with being by yourself, sometimes even more then with others?
Discuss.
[/QUOTE]
If I had to say one thing about myself...it would be the fact that I'm REALLY weird :P And it's not any different than what others would say. It's probably put even more nicely than what they would say XD And, honestly, I DON'T care what people think of me. I'm unique and different (which is pre-teen shit XD). They're not. Which is why people reject me most of the time. But I learned to accept it. It's all so stupid, also. Music tastes, clothes, friend choices. Bleh. And I most definitely AM more comfortable being by myself. Hence the long weekends with nothing planned! XD It doesn't offend me when people discuss me. Not at all. :P Woah this is long :D
A very interesting question, and one that's not easy to answer.
Maybe I'll try later.
Maybe I'll try later.
It's all about perception.
The people who "just may not know you" - unless you have actually just met and have not spent much time together - they DO know you. They know the you that you show them - which, I really do think is just as valid as what most people claim is "the real me". "The real me" is no less valid, but it's another perception.
If people were asked about me, I am sure they would ALL say different things. My reactions are based on subtle social clues and previous interactions. I do not have a prescribed set of actions that apply for every encounter.
Doubtlessly, my own perception of myself is different - as I am another person, with my own perception. I do not think my perception of myself is "better" or "more accurate", it's just another thought to add to the pile.
I do not think there is more than one "me". I am not a "different person" when I am with my mother than I am when I am home alone and swearing at my computer. The thing that changes is NOT "me" - but the cues and my reactions. My mother is not an inanimate object that I feel comfortable swearing at. That, in my perception has changed - while I have remained constant. Just as I would be the "same person" while eating soup as I would a sandwich - just because I am doing something different in order to consume the food does not mean I have changed - I simply have the life experience to know that I can't drink a sandwich.
I believe that "me" is an ever-changing thing. As it is with all people. Each experience adds to me. I am my experience - or, perhaps more importantly, my perception of it. But since we all live in "now", it's always "me" - we can't "go back". So although your interactions with a person may change over time, you are still you, and you are going to continue being you and adding to you.
While on some level, you are a "different person" from moment to moment - this is not the same as saying that simply by choice of mannerisms a person "doesn't know the real you". Because you are always real, and always have been - as far as we assume.
A certain perception is not "better". One may have exaggerated self-worth, or think they are a really good and moral person - but it's all perception and it's not really "better" since better is relative and a vague term.
If I had to say one thing about myself, I would probably say, "I'm fantastic" and waltz away. I don't know if I think I'm really fantastic. Because I don't really care. I'm going to be me because no matter what I do, people who observe me are going to form an opinion. Why should I not do the most pleasurable thing ? Of course, in order to stay alive and keep out of jail, I do realise this cannot always be done.
You are always yourself. What someone may have discomfort with is doing what they want to do - or they perceive themselves as lacking in courage or ability to the person they WANT to be - not the person they "are" - because the person they are IS the person they really are.
You see, people who worry about being comfortable with themselves and being able to behave a certain way around other people and blame others for "not knowing them" - I don't think they get it. It's not the world's job to observe you. I am always "really me" - and since I cannot change that, I give in to it and accept it, so I don't live my life doing only half of what I wanted just because I was afraid of what I named the "real me" - but was, in reality, a fantasy created to justify certain actions in my life.
The people who "just may not know you" - unless you have actually just met and have not spent much time together - they DO know you. They know the you that you show them - which, I really do think is just as valid as what most people claim is "the real me". "The real me" is no less valid, but it's another perception.
If people were asked about me, I am sure they would ALL say different things. My reactions are based on subtle social clues and previous interactions. I do not have a prescribed set of actions that apply for every encounter.
Doubtlessly, my own perception of myself is different - as I am another person, with my own perception. I do not think my perception of myself is "better" or "more accurate", it's just another thought to add to the pile.
I do not think there is more than one "me". I am not a "different person" when I am with my mother than I am when I am home alone and swearing at my computer. The thing that changes is NOT "me" - but the cues and my reactions. My mother is not an inanimate object that I feel comfortable swearing at. That, in my perception has changed - while I have remained constant. Just as I would be the "same person" while eating soup as I would a sandwich - just because I am doing something different in order to consume the food does not mean I have changed - I simply have the life experience to know that I can't drink a sandwich.
I believe that "me" is an ever-changing thing. As it is with all people. Each experience adds to me. I am my experience - or, perhaps more importantly, my perception of it. But since we all live in "now", it's always "me" - we can't "go back". So although your interactions with a person may change over time, you are still you, and you are going to continue being you and adding to you.
While on some level, you are a "different person" from moment to moment - this is not the same as saying that simply by choice of mannerisms a person "doesn't know the real you". Because you are always real, and always have been - as far as we assume.
A certain perception is not "better". One may have exaggerated self-worth, or think they are a really good and moral person - but it's all perception and it's not really "better" since better is relative and a vague term.
If I had to say one thing about myself, I would probably say, "I'm fantastic" and waltz away. I don't know if I think I'm really fantastic. Because I don't really care. I'm going to be me because no matter what I do, people who observe me are going to form an opinion. Why should I not do the most pleasurable thing ? Of course, in order to stay alive and keep out of jail, I do realise this cannot always be done.
You are always yourself. What someone may have discomfort with is doing what they want to do - or they perceive themselves as lacking in courage or ability to the person they WANT to be - not the person they "are" - because the person they are IS the person they really are.
You see, people who worry about being comfortable with themselves and being able to behave a certain way around other people and blame others for "not knowing them" - I don't think they get it. It's not the world's job to observe you. I am always "really me" - and since I cannot change that, I give in to it and accept it, so I don't live my life doing only half of what I wanted just because I was afraid of what I named the "real me" - but was, in reality, a fantasy created to justify certain actions in my life.
[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]<font color=red>The Audacity of Charles wrote: [/QUOTENAME]You see, people who worry about being comfortable with themselves and being able to behave a certain way around other people and blame others for "not knowing them" - I don't think they get it. It's not the world's job to observe you. I am always "really me" - and since I cannot change that, I give in to it and accept it, so I don't live my life doing only half of what I wanted just because I was afraid of what I named the "real me" - but was, in reality, a fantasy created to justify certain actions in my life.[/QUOTE]
Well, you see, sometimes I find I can't be myself eg. dress style when I'm around people from my religion. I just can't be. I've tried, and I found it very hard. They don't seem to accept it. I don't totally dismiss everything of me when I'm around them. I just simply tone it down. I wish I didn't have to do that though.
I come from a "ghetto" area shall we say. I'm nothing like the "ghetto" you know, the attitude and dress code. You either are that or you aren't "normal" to them. Which I find disgusting.
Well, you see, sometimes I find I can't be myself eg. dress style when I'm around people from my religion. I just can't be. I've tried, and I found it very hard. They don't seem to accept it. I don't totally dismiss everything of me when I'm around them. I just simply tone it down. I wish I didn't have to do that though.
I come from a "ghetto" area shall we say. I'm nothing like the "ghetto" you know, the attitude and dress code. You either are that or you aren't "normal" to them. Which I find disgusting.
[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]<font color="#FF00FF">its_a_hard_life wrote: [/QUOTENAME][QUOTE][QUOTENAME]<font color=red>The Audacity of Charles wrote: [/QUOTENAME]You see, people who worry about being comfortable with themselves and being able to behave a certain way around other people and blame others for "not knowing them" - I don't think they get it. It's not the world's job to observe you. I am always "really me" - and since I cannot change that, I give in to it and accept it, so I don't live my life doing only half of what I wanted just because I was afraid of what I named the "real me" - but was, in reality, a fantasy created to justify certain actions in my life.[/QUOTE]
Well, you see, sometimes I find I can't be myself eg. dress style when I'm around people from my religion. I just can't be. I've tried, and I found it very hard. They don't seem to accept it. I don't totally dismiss everything of me when I'm around them. I just simply tone it down. I wish I didn't have to do that though.
I come from a "ghetto" area shall we say. I'm nothing like the "ghetto" you know, the attitude and dress code. You either are that or you aren't "normal" to them. Which I find disgusting. [/QUOTE]
can you explain the "ghetto" situation in a bit more detail please,you've got me curious to exactly what you mean by that?
jox
Well, you see, sometimes I find I can't be myself eg. dress style when I'm around people from my religion. I just can't be. I've tried, and I found it very hard. They don't seem to accept it. I don't totally dismiss everything of me when I'm around them. I just simply tone it down. I wish I didn't have to do that though.
I come from a "ghetto" area shall we say. I'm nothing like the "ghetto" you know, the attitude and dress code. You either are that or you aren't "normal" to them. Which I find disgusting. [/QUOTE]
can you explain the "ghetto" situation in a bit more detail please,you've got me curious to exactly what you mean by that?
jox
To describe myself in simpliest form, I'd have to say I'm complicated.
So complicated I don't even understand myself.
Either digusting or pathetic.
And I don't know how people percieve me.
So I just have to keep my mind open for every possibility. It's rather confusing.
So complicated I don't even understand myself.
Either digusting or pathetic.
And I don't know how people percieve me.
So I just have to keep my mind open for every possibility. It's rather confusing.
[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]<font color="#FF00FF">its_a_hard_life wrote: [/QUOTENAME][QUOTE][QUOTENAME]<font color=red>The Audacity of Charles wrote: [/QUOTENAME]You see, people who worry about being comfortable with themselves and being able to behave a certain way around other people and blame others for "not knowing them" - I don't think they get it. It's not the world's job to observe you. I am always "really me" - and since I cannot change that, I give in to it and accept it, so I don't live my life doing only half of what I wanted just because I was afraid of what I named the "real me" - but was, in reality, a fantasy created to justify certain actions in my life.[/QUOTE]
Well, you see, sometimes I find I can't be myself eg. dress style when I'm around people from my religion. I just can't be. I've tried, and I found it very hard. They don't seem to accept it. I don't totally dismiss everything of me when I'm around them. I just simply tone it down. I wish I didn't have to do that though.
I come from a "ghetto" area shall we say. I'm nothing like the "ghetto" you know, the attitude and dress code. You either are that or you aren't "normal" to them. Which I find disgusting. [/QUOTE]
I guess it's just "semantics".
But is a person defined by what they want, by what they enjoy, or by what they do ? I'm sure all those things go into the sum of "a person", but I have always been told that "actions speak louder than words".
There are many times when I would love to do something like swear at my mother. But, I hold myself back and do not do this. I don't view this as "not being myself" - but as making a choice in behaviour in hopes that the pleasure of the future will make up for not allowing myself to swear (which, at the moment, would feel really good).
I certainly understand your "conflict". :) Sometimes, there's something you would like to do - but something holds you back, the memories of how people reacted before and what you predict they'll do again.
But I still think you're being "you" - you are making a compromise.
I don't think it's always right or noble to give in to your desires no matter what they are. I don't see anything wrong with "toning down [your actions]" in order to avoid an unpleasant reaction. It's up to you to decide when such a compromise is "worth it".
This is just my opinion. I don't see a choice not to swear - or, my usual "compromise" to not wear what I "want to" - as being anything less than "me". I AM the one deciding not to swear, I am choosing this for a reason - when I am not swearing at my mother, or not wearing pearls, I am not a simplified version of myself or lesser "me" - I am simply myself, making choices.
I understand making choices, about anxiety because it's not your first choice. But I still think you are "yourself". There are no versions of "you". There is just you - who makes choices, some choices you might not like.
Or, maybe that's just how I see it. :)
Well, you see, sometimes I find I can't be myself eg. dress style when I'm around people from my religion. I just can't be. I've tried, and I found it very hard. They don't seem to accept it. I don't totally dismiss everything of me when I'm around them. I just simply tone it down. I wish I didn't have to do that though.
I come from a "ghetto" area shall we say. I'm nothing like the "ghetto" you know, the attitude and dress code. You either are that or you aren't "normal" to them. Which I find disgusting. [/QUOTE]
I guess it's just "semantics".
But is a person defined by what they want, by what they enjoy, or by what they do ? I'm sure all those things go into the sum of "a person", but I have always been told that "actions speak louder than words".
There are many times when I would love to do something like swear at my mother. But, I hold myself back and do not do this. I don't view this as "not being myself" - but as making a choice in behaviour in hopes that the pleasure of the future will make up for not allowing myself to swear (which, at the moment, would feel really good).
I certainly understand your "conflict". :) Sometimes, there's something you would like to do - but something holds you back, the memories of how people reacted before and what you predict they'll do again.
But I still think you're being "you" - you are making a compromise.
I don't think it's always right or noble to give in to your desires no matter what they are. I don't see anything wrong with "toning down [your actions]" in order to avoid an unpleasant reaction. It's up to you to decide when such a compromise is "worth it".
This is just my opinion. I don't see a choice not to swear - or, my usual "compromise" to not wear what I "want to" - as being anything less than "me". I AM the one deciding not to swear, I am choosing this for a reason - when I am not swearing at my mother, or not wearing pearls, I am not a simplified version of myself or lesser "me" - I am simply myself, making choices.
I understand making choices, about anxiety because it's not your first choice. But I still think you are "yourself". There are no versions of "you". There is just you - who makes choices, some choices you might not like.
Or, maybe that's just how I see it. :)