Corny Jokes Galore!

what do you call a yellow school bus with black people inside?

ANswer: A rotten banana

a bloke goes into a taxidermists with 2 dead rabbits and says
"i'd like these rabbits stuffed please"
"would you like them mounted?" asks the taxidermist
"nah" says the bloke "just holding hands will do"

[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]greaserkat wrote: [/QUOTENAME]what do you call a yellow school bus with black people inside?

ANswer: A rotten banana[/QUOTE]
LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!! XDDDD

Kid:Mommy, Mommy! I've lost my fingers!

Mum:Shut up and eat your french fries!


Kid:Mommy, Mommy! When will we have this nice yellow pudding again?

Mum:Shut up, you know that grandma's leg is no longer infested.


Kid:Mommy, Mommy! Why is Daddy zigzagging in the yard?

Mum:Shut up and shoot again!

did anyone else hear the janet n john tale on Wogan yesterday?

John comes back from the office, only to find his wife naked in bed. He is puzzled and asks, "Why on earth are you indecent? The neighbors could come knocking, and you'd be there lying naked in bed! Put some clothes on!"
His wife then burst into tears and begins babbling about something or another.
"I-I'm n-not dressed because *snif* I haven't got any pretty dresses! You hardly buy me any clothes anymore! I was ashamed to wear my old, ripped up dresses, so I opted not to wear anything!"
The man becomes frantic and pities his wife. He runs to hug her and then makes a dash for the closet.
"But, honey! You've got plenty of beautiful dresses! Look! Just look at this dashing blue one.. the red one... the striped one... Ricardo..."


-------------------------------------------------

John comes back from work again and find his wife naked once more. She's panting hard and fanning herself.
"Come on, Josephine! Why are you naked again? I bought you some new clothes already!"
The woman is panting and out of breath, but she manages to gasp out, "I took my clothes off because it was so hot... *pant* I think I may be having a heart attack.. *pant*"
John becomes frantic once more and runs out of the room to seek help. He bumps into his two young children, who cry, "Dad! Dad! Uncle Pete is naked in the closet!"
John runs back tothe closet and scolds, "Good Lord, Pete! My ife is having a goddammed heart- attack and you're here scaring the children?!"
-----------------------------------------------

XDXDXDXD

A young man went to visit his uncle for the weekend. The first morning they had bacon and eggs for breakfast. The young man noticed before serving his food that there was a bit of old dried food on his plate. He said to his uncle,"this plate doesn't look clean." His uncle responded,"It's as clean as cold water can get it, now eat."
Later, when it was lunch time, the young man came in to eat and noticed what appeared to be dried egg still on his plate. He again went to his uncle. His uncle said,"I told you, it's as clean as cold water can get it, now just eat."
Fast forward to dinner time. The young man decides he will go out for dinner. As he attempts to go out the door, his uncle's dog begins barking like mad and refuses to let him by.
The young man tells his uncle,"the dog won't let me out." The uncle turns round and yells,

"COLD WATER, GET YOUR _ _ _ OUT OF THE WAY!!"

;)

GAH!
That is disgusting!!!

LOL ;)

[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Miami Vice wrote: [/QUOTENAME][QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Kensington Love wrote: [/QUOTENAME]LOL ;)[/QUOTE]On top of it all you have a sense of humor. Flash is a lucky guy![/QUOTE]


I'm the lucky one,darling;)

jethro and denzel are walking along the cornish coastal path to porthleven when jethro falls 10 ft down an old tin mine shaft..
"you ok?" asks denzel
"yeah,i think so" says jethro
"have you broken anything?" asks denzel
"no" says jethro "theres sod all down here"

2 policemen are walking down the street when they see jade goody getting the crap beaten out of her by 6 blokes.
the first copper turns to the other one and asks
"shall we go and help?"
"no" says the second copper "6 should be enough"

Q: When are you allowed to spit an arabic woman in the face

















A: When her moustache is on fire

[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Paul McCartney wrote: [/QUOTENAME]There was a man who got lost while he was visiting Ireland. He looked around and saw a small house. He walked to it to ask for help, following a little wooden fence leading to it. He got closer and realised it was a pub, so he went inside and asked for a beer. The pub was empty except for the man and the bartender, so he was served quickly. As he drank, the barkeeper began talking to him.

-Hey, son. Did you see that fence on the way over here?
-Yes, I did. Why?
-I made that fence. How was it, was it well- made?
-Oh yeah, it was a fine fence. Good craftmanship there.
-Yeah, but do they call me Jones the Fence- maker? NOOOO!

The guest notices how bitter the barkeeper sounds. He tries to drink his Guiness in peace when he is interrupted once more.

-You see this bar, son?
- Yeah, I do.
-I made it outta pure mahogany. All on my own. How does it hold out?
-Oh, it's, uh, very sturdy. Really well- done.
-Yeah, but do they call me Jones the Bar- maker? NOOOO!

The man tries once more to have his drink. He isn't intrrupted this time, and he has a gulp. He's ready to take another gulp when the bartender pipes in again.

-How's yer beer, son? Is it good?
-Yeah, yeah, it's a great drink. A fine drink.
-I made it meself. I make all the drinks here all on me own.
-And they're really great drinks.
-Yeah, but do they call me Jones the Beer- maker? NOOOO!

The barkeper turns around and runs his hands across his face looking very frustrated.

"You fuck ONE goat!"
[/QUOTE]

Bump. It's too good a joke to pass up. xD