Can I ask you guys something?

I have been diagnosed with severe depression lately, I'm on anti-depresents, they havent started working yet though. but before I have had thoughts of suicide because I feel like when i eventualy leave school that I am going to be terreble at my job, and i dont even know what job i want, so that makes my future seem pretty hopeless. but then those thoughts faded away, but then as the future gets closer and more unsure it is making me suicidal again, it's weird because one day i'm not thinking about the future, i just hope for the best, or i just feel that it is going to be so empty and so not worth living that I want to end it. (I'm telling you guys because none of you know me or my friends and family so you can't tell them, only the cychiatrist knows this. so i just want to get it out this way so that it isnt pulling me down even more.) so if anyone here has been in the same position as me then could you tell me how you dealed with it please?

I would suggest a distraction when the worrying takes over your mind.  Something as simple as a book or TV show.  Or a radio, if you are trying to fall asleep.  (I've never had depression, but I have worried about the future.)

I have had depressive illness on and off.  My impression is that it sorts itself out and clears up after a while. Years ago, I read a lot of books about coping with depression/building confidence etc. My quallifications are to do with health, so I did a lot of reading about it.  A lot of dealing with anxiety/depression is about cognitive therapy, that is, challenging negative thoughts. You should be able to find books in the library. Some books are better than others.

It's important to keep yourself busy. Try not to let it stop you doing too much.

I could never take tablets , the side-effects made me ill.

L.

Thank you for you'r advise littlesilluetto
:D

Now I've got depression.  Thanks a lot!!!

This is not funny. wanting to kill yourself because of pain and fear of the future IS NOT FUNNY.
seriously, I'm feeling better today because I've had my friends cheer me up allday, but some days I spend all day wondering where I will kill myself and how I will kill myself. so please don't laugh about this. my tablets are taking forever to work and I am 13 and wish I were dead.

Lifetimefan, i felt so bad for you reading this.  I have never been 'officially' depressed, altho i spent some time as a teen on St johns Wort, basically because i refused to go to the doctor but was made take something.  I dont know how helpful this is, and i know its horribly frustrating to hear it, but 13 can be a difficult age.  You're under a lot of pressure to decide what you want to do, teens can be cruel, and school and the prospect of more school and then work can be overwhelming.  But it will pass... its horrible while it lasts, and might feel like there is no way out or no hope, but perhaps the way ahead is just hidden at the moment.   When you have a job, etc, you will have more experience, and more resources in yourself to draw on then you have now, so you will be able for it.  Thats part of the purpose of school - getting you ready, helping you prepare and grow, even though that growth and preparation can be a rough path at times.  Please dont harm yourself... i think most of us have no idea how much we mean to other people.  There is always a way through a situation, even if that way is difficult at times, and even if it takes some time.
ok ill stop now before i rly start preaching... :P  but srsly, take care of yourself, and try not to worry abt ALL the problems and situations that could come up... they wont all happen at once, and you'll find the ability to deal with them at the time if or when some of them do.

Lifetimefanofqueen:

I may sound a wee bit cold here, but I've always been one to call it like it is.

You're healthy, educated, fed, watered, sheltered, and loved.  You should have absolutely no reason to be depressed when billions (yes, literally billions) of people would die to have what you have.  Start smiling at the fact that you won the biggest lottery in the world - to be born in a first world country.

You're young, so enjoy the minimal responsibilities for now.  In due time you'll find your sense of purpose in the world and, with enough determination to succeed, you'll live a fulfilling life.

Lifetime I'm speaking from a US perspective...be sure you get a second opinion on the medication, especially if you are prescribed lithium bicarbonate for Major Depressive Disorder.  For example, a misdiagnosis of MDD --

(when you might actually be coping with Bipolar Disorder, requiring a different medication, because depression can have a biological cause)

-- and then being given a lithium prescrip can potentially destroy your thyroid gland, adding to the burden of effective coping skills.  Most psychologists worth their clinical analysis will admit it takes about 2-8 years to get an accurate diagnosis, for both the psychosocial concern, and then to match you with both an appropriate medication, and its correct dosage.

Also, there is a tendency to over-prescribe medication.  Too much money involved between insurance and big pharma.  I encourage you to research and ask critical questions about Prozac, Xanax, and Lexapro.  Diet, exercise, yoga, omega-3 through increased salmon consumption, increased intake of asparagus, and conduct a very careful review of your family history for mental health concerns.   As you state being 13 years old, the hormonal changes associated with being a teenager can trigger depression.  Especially be aware of this as you enter your middle twenties and the major portion of physical growth concludes.

Regardless of where you live please do some internet searching for: a) toll-free crisis hotline counseling, b) Byron Katie 'The Work,' and c) William Glasser 'Choice Theory' and Reality Therapy.  I'm not telling you every last detail because it will mean more to you if you do the work.  Depending on the kind of trauma which might be triggering depressive episodes, hypnotherapy or EMDR Therapy may work better for you rather than medication and/or counseling. 

You have the right to confidentiality at all times in the clinical setting, and the right to informed choice -- be informed about all services available to you, and make your choice based on thoughts rather than emotions.

A counselor is someone who collaborates with you on developing an authentic, emotionally honest dialogue with your inner self.  Put another way: the power to heal is already inside you, and it has something to do with the connection between your head and your heart.  What's the number one thing you want to change in your life?  If a miracle happened overnight and your problems were gone in the morning, how would your life be different?

Most important: what do you do for healthy fun?  Do you do that on a regular basis? (sarcasm not welcome, folks)

If you've got TONS of reading time available, try Medical and Psychosocial Aspects of Chronic Illness and Disability by Donna Falvo, RN, PhD, CRC. ISBN 0-7637-1570-0 3rd Edition.

Keep Yourself Alive!

I didn't realise you were only 13.  Hormones might have a lot to do with it. It really isn't a good idea to think about ending your life. You have got plenty of time ahead of you and if ever you feel that bad, please ask for help.  Take things a day at a time. Try to get some enjoyment out of each day, no matter how small. Adolescence is a difficult time and I think it's starting earlier. In my day it didn't start till we were 16 and acne lotions hadn't been invented! 
L.

lifetimefanofqueen wrote: This is not funny. wanting to kill yourself because of pain and fear of the future IS NOT FUNNY.
seriously, I'm feeling better today because I've had my friends cheer me up allday, but some days I spend all day wondering where I will kill myself and how I will kill myself. so please don't laugh about this. my tablets are taking forever to work and I am 13 and wish I were dead.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

sorry but i think you need to learn a key life lesson:

my brother was 39 when died of cancer last year...he lived his life for every drop he could squeeze out of it....when he was told he was dying - jan 08 - he defied doctord and lasted 15 months.....and kept doing stuff right up til the day he died.....and do you know what? he'd have given his right arm to be alive and depressed like you...cos at least that's alive....

count you blessings.....get a grip, sort yourself...because people who talk of killing themslves really annoy me...you have no idea what you could be wasting. and you have no right to throw away something you were given that is so precious. you may have another 70 yrs on this planet.....on the other hand you could have much less - like my brother....seize every day.....and suck in the good ness...cos there's lots to be had.

and don;t come back at me with any kind of "you don't understand" crap...cos i do. i lost my aunt, my dad and my borther all in the same year....that's f*cking being depressed mate....and i'm not lkilling myself

look brENsKi, some people can clearly handly these things better than others. I dont want to argue with you, so im asking you now can we just drop what ever it is we have against eachover and just get along, please, this arguing is so childish. can we just get along?

I have done well since I was diagnosed in 1989 and obtained the proper treatment.  It took three one month hospitalizations over a six month period, but I was finally successfully treated with a proper mix of medications.

Unfortunately, proper diagnosis and treatment takes time, possibly more than one month.  Please remember that your friends and family really do need you, and will be devastated if you harm yourself.

Please note that anti-depressants can occasionally worsen suicidal thoughts for teenagers.  Please keep your doctor and family informed if you think this might be the case.

I found the following book on cognative therapy very helpful, as it helped me to fight back against my irrational thinking that was part of my depression:

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0380731762/o/qid=934233179/sr=8-1/002-9694366-0209668/feelinggoodcom

You may also want to read more about depression (see link below).  It is not as simple as it first appears.

http://depression.about.com/od/mooddisordertypes/Types_of_Depression.htm

Finally, please provide an update sometime.  I will be wondering about you, and hoping things get better.

Also, as you probably know, the music of Queen, might be helpful sometimes:

Hang on in There
Rain Must Fall
Don't Try So Hard
Pain Is So Close to Pleasure
Friends Will be Friends
Keep Passing the Open Windows
Don't Try Suicide
If You Can't Beat Them

Also, Queenzone (and the internet) is often a very rough and unforgiving place. 

Don't harm yourself over anything that some poster might say on this site.  Most people do not understand clinical depression, and can be quite cruel sometimes (intentionally or unintentionally).

Feel free to e-mail me at vantricers@comcast.net if you want, but you must get your parent's permission and let them read your e-mails.

oops I just realized that the link about the book in my previous post was wrong I corrected it.