clarification of Thor Arnold's role in Freddie's life

LOTV wrote:


Serious question @Thor: Do you think he should have done more for AIDS awareness? I know I comeback to this regularly. The man is a legend to me, but I can't help but feeling this blots his copy book. I know he wasn't a saint, that doesn't bother me in fact it makes him more interesting and human. Lets face it we love the stories of excess and debauchery, who wants a squeaky clean rock star?
"

I've seen this criticism aimed at Freddie a fair few times, that he should have publicly declared that he had AIDS to raise awareness and that he should have done more in his lifetime.

My opinion is that Freddie didn't owe it to anyone to publicly spread awareness of his illness. He was the one having to deal with not only having a terminal illness, but having an illness which carried so much fear and stigma and very little compassion for the sufferer. We know that Freddie always considered the people around him and no doubt he will have remembered the public reaction to Rock Hudson's death. He was slammed for kissing a co-star and supposedly exposing her to risk of infection.
Freddie did not want to expose his family to public embarrassment and wanted to carry on with creating music and lifing the rest of his life without being treated like a pariah or with pity. Who can blame him. It was his illness and his right to deal with it in a way that was right for him. He handled it with bravery and dignity.

@ Thor. Hello. I did ask both these questions before but I think they must have got lost among all the gay erasure etc etc.

1. Have you heard about or read Peter Freestone's blog, Ask Phoebe?

2 Peter Freestone wrote in his book that while in New York, Freddie and yourselves watched and toasted the royal wedding in 1981 of Charles and Diana and had a hilarious time commenting and insulting the (hideous) outfits :D. Any memories if this?

@ LOTV, Just my take on it...From my memory of those times and looking back with the info from Phoebe and Jim, etc, it would appear that Freddie found out about his AIDS status at around the time of the huge government campaign in the UK. So everyone was already talking about it and aware. I think the idea for 'AIDS Awareness' came later into public consciousness.

And from that point onwards he'd have been more and more challenged by his failing health, plus trying to work, plus dealing with the media, etc.

At the time there were a lot of terrible comments being made in the public about this 'gay plague.' While the more enlightened of us had compassion, many still thought it was 'their fault.' I don't think the timing would have been right for Freddie to talk openly about it, and then he may also have thought he only had a year or two to live and then his death would raise awareness by itself.

I'm really sorry to say that at that time there was little sympathy for people with AIDS from a large section of the population. Fear can be a terrible thing and shows in the weak as indifference, hatred and lack of compassion. I'm pretty certain it was Anne Robinson who was quoted in one newspaper as saying 'Freddie didn't die fighting for his country.' I don't and will never understand such an attitude.

I'm ok with the fact that Freddie didn't get involved with aids awareness stuff. He still taught people a lot about courage and dignity in the face of huge odds against them.

I saw an interview with Brian and Roger right after Freddie died and Brian talked about how cruel the media had been to Freddie and those who had AIDS at the time. He was fuming and rightfully so. He said he was absolutely sickened by the way some people viewed it as something "gays deserved". They may not have been able to relate to their friend being gay but they sure as hell didn't put up with others slamming him for it. Especially when it came AIDS. I don't blame Fred for not coming out about his illness at the time. I believe I would have done the same. He was hounded enough by the press as it was.

I wish I could go through the whole discussion about Freddie and promoting AIDS awareness. It was a lively discussion from weeks ago. I will however, add now that anyone who thinks Freddie should have promoted AIDS awareness doesn't know what they are talking about. There was way too much hate through the '80s. NO ONE came out willingly then. As I have previously mentioned, people like Elizabeth Taylor could get away with AIDS activism, not Freddie.
I support his decision to not publicize his disease. This was not the burden of the victims but more properly, the friends around them.
I don't know if this is true or not, but wouldn't it have been great if certain friends of Freddie had given part of their sudden wealth to AIDS awareness. If I were rich, I would have done this in memory of a friend.

I never heard anything either way on that. I read somewhere that Freddie had given a lot of money to AIDS research while he was alive, but cannot remember which author said that. I'd have given for research, or support for victims.

Thor, some people say the AZT treatment at the time was too strong and was doing more damage than good, do you have any views on this?

Thanks for thoughts all, as I write, I don't judge harshly myself. I understand appreciate his actions, thoughts and reasons. One would imagine it would be different now. I wonder if anybody picked up on the fact that his last live performance was a charity show for AIDS, a performance he came out of 'live retirement' for?

LOTV wrote:

I wonder if anybody picked up on the fact that his last live performance was a charity show for AIDS, a performance he came out of 'live retirement' for?

Yep he took that opportunity. I think the timing just had to be right, and sadly he ran out of time.

I think I may be a part of the "silent majority" of Queen fans.

Freddie's sexual ambiguity back in the day made him an enigma. I think it's a PLUS. Very intriguing to me. I'm totally straight(big time!) and could never imagine being sexually attracted to another man. That makes him very alien to me and coupled with his extraordinary talent I will forever be in awe of him.

I find Thor very interesting for this same reason.

I say live and let live and those that are different from me retain my interest much more than those that are just like me.

I have finally finished reading through this thread.

Thanks for doing this Thor, you seem like a really great guy and thank you for sharing your stories with us.

Welcome going slightly mad,
Thank you for reading the whole thing. It has become a bit lengthy, so I appreciate the effort. Also, I can no longer just add my comments simply. I have lost that nice box at the bottom of each page. I hope I got your name correct. Flipping back is a problem now too.

Oops, I just got it back...correction to "slightly mad 22", I apologize for the error.

Hi Thor , did you ever come across a guy from Studio 54 who claimed he was with loads of stars back in the 80's his name was Sterling St Jacques

No, sorry. I never heard of or met the man you named. Who was he?

Forgot to say...Welcome Darren

Haha no no to apologise Thor, Slightly Mad is fine lol it took me almost a week!! Lol some silly arguments along the way, but mostly it was great!! When you said you were leaving, I was gutted, as I'd never got to thank you!! Seriously mate, this thread has been the best thing to happen to the Zone for a long time. I can't even remember the last time I felt compelled to post here.

I have just seen Jim Hutton has been cast in the Freddie/Queen movie. I am surprised, I had a feeling they were going to ignore the fact that he was gay altogether and only show Mary, as first a girlfriend, then a lifelong friend.