People of faith, help me out

Or actually, anyone, help me out.

I have been seeing an amazing young man for quite a period, and for the past couple of weeks everything has just fallen right into place. The problem is, he's a deeply religious Christian, and you all know what I think about religion. We're both willing to accept our differences on that; it's not an issue. But he confessed to me tonight that he's worried about me with regards to the afterlife. We have quite a while to wait before that comes into play, but I feel a bit guilty.

So, question to people with somewhat more religion than I have: could you love someone who, according to your upbringing, was headed straight down the road to hell? And if so, how would you deal with that? I neither can nor am I willing to change my whole belief system, but I'd like to make this easier on both of us.

Well myself I would have to say that I have spent many years walking away from Gods will and while I turned my back on him I tried a couple times to date a woman who was very religious, and it just didn't work, she would NAG me everyday to follow Gods plan, and when you are doing the things that would send you to hell the last thing you want is someone reminding you all the time about it, that is unless you have been thinking of giving your life to Christ and his love. (no.. I am not trying to preach here.. :) )

Hope that helps somewhat.

I don't like to say I'm religous. I have a close relationship with God, but if someone doesn't want to know about God or be preached to, I don't. It's not like I go up to a random person and ask if they know God. Well, you said he's worried about your after life right? I guess he feels that it's his fault that you don't belive in God or something. That he hasn't preached to you well enough. Or something along those words. There are some religous people I know that go a little too extreme and say, "If you don't do this you're going to hell!" Those kinds of people kind of annoy me in a way. If they want to preach, don't scare the people.

I was friends with a guy that's religous also. But he's a little too extreme. He would keep asking me stuff like ,"Did you pray?" Before a meal. And everytime I made a mistake he'd say, "Jesus saw you!" Well, we don't talk as much anymore.

It's a good thing that your friend doesn't act this way.

My beliefs don't include Hell so I can't speak for that side. But I do know that if I was in a relationship with someone who was on at me a lot about the fact that I would end up there I'd have to think very seriously about whether it was worth it for us both. Do you really want him to be continually worrying about your immortal soul? Because if he's that devout he probably will. Things always come out right in the end.

It's about effing time to test which one's stronger: love or faith in a sublime Being.
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I'd like to know. And BTW, moral dilemmas such as yours are quite fascinating. Either it's a ruin of Love (which amazes me to no end) or the utter destruction of faith.

Geeks,

You say he is deeply religious. I don't doubt you, but I have a hard time understanding how a deeply religious person could become so deeply involved with someone whose very philosophy flies in the face of everything he supposedly holds most true. What thought process even gets you to that point? How can you have a deep connection with someone whose view of the universe is completely opposite to your own? Why would you even want to be in a relationship like that?

The reason, I suspect, is because he is young and overwhelmed by his feelings for you, and doesn't know how to put that in the proper perspective. Making decisions based on feelings leads to disaster almost every time. Because feelings come and go, change, and grow. Some day you will not be quite so beautiful to him and the spark will have gone out of things for you too. Your mutual interests will long have since played themselves out. What then? All that that will be left will be the two of you and who you are on the deepest level. If that doesn't match up, things will be very difficult for you.

Because if he loves you, he will never stop trying to convert you. How can you love someone and not persist in trying to share the truth with her? And you. If you love him and truly want what's best for him, how can you stand to watch him waste his life away on a lie? It is the love that will breed the conflict. And life is difficult enough without being locked into eternal philosophical struggle with your partner. You may say you can live with your differing beliefs, but if those beliefs are truly believed with conviction, that will never really happen.

My suggestion to you is to end this right away. Let him find a nice Christian girl who can be what he needs. And you find someone who can give you what you need.

I've been through this before, and it is difficult. You have my sympathy. Whatever the two of you decide, it will not be easy for either one of you.

I had this problem with an ex-girlfriend. She was a very devout Catholic I, however, am nothing having never been christened or anything. I did go to Church with her once for Mass (if only to shut her up). I kept up this romance for nine hole weeks before I realised that we were poles apart in our beliefs so we came to an agreement to end it. To give her her due though she didn't try and force it down my throat. I am very suspicious of people who ram religion down your throats cf. Jehovnah's Witnesses.

My advice then in short. Ditch him.

Geeks, you said that everything has fallen into place and that you're both willing to accept your differences. in my opinion, that's a good start. I suggest that you try to hang on a little longer, if that's what you both want. if you really want this relationship, you can work it out.

on the other hand, if he's really worried about you and it makes your relationship difficult, maybe you better talk to him and find out what he thinks is the best. it's kind of his problem, and he knows if he can live with it or not.
good luck anyway :)

I can't help you out, but I will say that I think that you would only go to hell if you did something seriously bad like killing someone.

I don't mean to be a downer, but if he is really religious I can't see it working out. I have known some extremely religious folks, my aunt included, and they can never except anything that varies from their beliefs. I would personally feel like I was being judged all the time.

Well, first off, Mandy, you have to understand that he is only bringing up this subject because he cares. We Christians can be "weird" that way. It seems like we are pushing, but it really isn't supposed to be that way.

For me personally, I wouldn't date someone who doesn't share my belief system simply because I would already know that problems would occur. It is basically an understanding that I have that I will date someone that I I know I could possibly marry eventually and I would want that person to be Christian, so we would be on track with everything. Even if a person loves another person who doesn't share the same beliefs, those two people are STILL capable of (eventually) getting into nasty religious debates. And if they don't, they probably always choose their words wisely.

Now you need to consider whether or not you two can remain in love with one another and continue to care for him when he feels so differently than you do. You also need to realize that neither of you are going to back down from your views and figure out whether or not this will be positive or negative for your relationship.

<b><font color = "crimson">ThomasQuinn wrote:

He shouldn't be worried. In fact, 'hell' wasn't included in Christianity until the middle ages, so several hundreds of years after Christ. The jews still don't have it. So, as I said, he shouldn't worry.

Not as i understand it. the bibles were writtne in the early fourth century AD, after pope Constantine called a meeting @ Nicosea. the gospels we compiled from 40+ original "gospels" and Luke's gospel - which definitely includes Hell was included - see below:

According to Luke 16:19-28 nobody can pass from Hell to Heaven or vice versa, and fire is not the only torment, thirst being another, and more that are not described; in this biblical paragraph it is also mentioned that the souls that are in Hell can see those that are in Heaven and vice versa, but nothing is said of the sight of God; those that are in Hell can see the happiness reigning in Heaven, and those in Heaven do not feel compassion for the others in Hell.

THE PAIN AND FIRE OF HELL WILL NEVER END: "Wherefore if thy hand or thy foot offend thee, cut them off, and cast them from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life halt or maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet to be cast INTO EVERLASTING FIRE... TO BE CAST INTO HELL FIRE." (St. Matthew 18:8-9)

I'd much rather someone worried about me in the nowlife, rather than the afterlife.

Bloody religion.

Gad, he sounds like a fruitloop to me. He might be alright for practising with, but I wouldn't get too serious.
Devout, my eye! Tell him there's nowt devout about that bulge in his trousers next time he gets up close and personal.

Who wants to go to Heaven anyway? Full of boring old farts with sensible haircuts and corduroy, by the sound of it. Give me t'other shop any day.

Jerry Lee Lewis versus Cliff Richard? Pfft, no contest!