People of faith, help me out

Farlander wrote:

Geeks,

You say he is deeply religious. I don't doubt you, but I have a hard time understanding how a deeply religious person could become so deeply involved with someone whose very philosophy flies in the face of everything he supposedly holds most true. What thought process even gets you to that point? How can you have a deep connection with someone whose view of the universe is completely opposite to your own? Why would you even want to be in a relationship like that?

The reason, I suspect, is because he is young and overwhelmed by his feelings for you, and doesn't know how to put that in the proper perspective. Making decisions based on feelings leads to disaster almost every time. Because feelings come and go, change, and grow. Some day you will not be quite so beautiful to him and the spark will have gone out of things for you too. Your mutual interests will long have since played themselves out. What then? All that that will be left will be the two of you and who you are on the deepest level. If that doesn't match up, things will be very difficult for you.

Because if he loves you, he will never stop trying to convert you. How can you love someone and not persist in trying to share the truth with her? And you. If you love him and truly want what's best for him, how can you stand to watch him waste his life away on a lie? It is the love that will breed the conflict. And life is difficult enough without being locked into eternal philosophical struggle with your partner. You may say you can live with your differing beliefs, but if those beliefs are truly believed with conviction, that will never really happen.

My suggestion to you is to end this right away. Let him find a nice Christian girl who can be what he needs. And you find someone who can give you what you need.

I've been through this before, and it is difficult. You have my sympathy. Whatever the two of you decide, it will not be easy for either one of you.

this is the best reply i have read in this topic, Mandy. Consider farlander's words.

Lorenzooo, noooooo!! Mandy and her boyfriend need to not worry about anything. If it's love, nothing will be able to separate them!! NOTHING!!!

Mandy, I agree about this damn Ohio river valley!! I'm PISSED about the weather!! It is supposed to be nice this week though.

Are you going to Breakthru?

Lisser wrote:

Lorenzooo, noooooo!! Mandy and her boyfriend need to not worry about anything. If it's love, nothing will be able to separate them!! NOTHING!!!

That kinda reminds me about an extremely popular romantic chick flick about a sinking giant boat.

"I'll never let go, Mandy. I'll never let go!"

well Melissa, why don't you add me to msn and talk about it? ;)
i'm online...

Hitman wrote:

well Melissa, why don't you add me to msn and talk about it? ;)
i'm online...

ohhhhhhhhhhh, I'd LOOOOVE to but I'm at work right now!!! I can't get on msn here!! :(

Damn work!!! ;)

ok, save your reasons in a "word" file and add me to your list when you come back home...after you give a kiss to your kids and take care of them, of course :)

Hitman wrote:

ok, save your reasons in a "word" file and add me to your list when you come back home...after you give a kiss to your kids and take care of them, of course :)

I'm gonna marry you some day Lorenzo!!!

;)

...and have a passionate but volatile affair with Flashy behind your back ;)

Flashman wrote:

...and have a passionate but volatile affair with Flashy behind your back ;)

Bwuahahahhahaaaaaaaa!! Don't tell!!

;)

Lisser wrote:

Manders....you already said you both can agree to disagree....stick with him until your heart AND brain tell you otherwise.

Have fun!! Don't worry too much, it gives you wrinkles!!! EWWWW!!!!

:)

I like your point of view Lisser, although Farlander approach is more realistic I think. I can't really help you Mandy, never been in such a situation. I'm not religious at all and I can't imagine that a religion can be a fatal hurdle between two lovers. But I know in some cases, it is.

Mr.Jingles79 wrote:

Lisser wrote:

Lorenzooo, noooooo!! Mandy and her boyfriend need to not worry about anything. If it's love, nothing will be able to separate them!! NOTHING!!!

That kinda reminds me about an extremely popular romantic chick flick about a sinking giant boat.

"I'll never let go, Mandy. I'll never let go!"

*curls up like a boiled shrimp and dies*

Dear Geeks

When you are in a relationship, it is important to be openly and honestly the person that you are. Whilst everyone can seek to improve themselves, when it comes to core beliefs such as this, the partner must accept in loving that person that is who they are.

I will give you an example - my husband when he was way younger fell in with a girl that was a member of Assembly of God. She insisted that he come to meetings and to church and he, in wanting to please her did. My husband has since being a teenager had a love affair with music and the "Elders" of the Church made him feel so guilty about his collection that they made him get rid of it - I'm talking BURNING all the music they consider "evil". He eventually left them and the girl when they tried to take half of his wages as "donations to the church" and also tried to convince him that because his family weren't Assembly of God members that they were a "bad influence". Today he regrets having listened to them and her in the first place - simply just to please a girl.

Geeks, be yourself. Sooner or later cracks will start in a relationship if you are not. Resentment eventually grows and it becomes destructive to you and him. Besides, if the young man is a true Christian, one should not feel guilty about their faith as isn't a relationship with God based on love and understanding?

bellydancer wrote:

Dear Geeks

When you are in a relationship, it is important to be openly and honestly the person that you are. Whilst everyone can seek to improve themselves, when it comes to core beliefs such as this, the partner must accept in loving that person that is who they are.

I will give you an example - my husband when he was way younger fell in with a girl that was a member of Assembly of God. She insisted that he come to meetings and to church and he, in wanting to please her did. My husband has since being a teenager had a love affair with music and the "Elders" of the Church made him feel so guilty about his collection that they made him get rid of it - I'm talking BURNING all the music they consider "evil". He eventually left them and the girl when they tried to take half of his wages as "donations to the church" and also tried to convince him that because his family weren't Assembly of God members that they were a "bad influence". Today he regrets having listened to them and her in the first place - simply just to please a girl.

Geeks, be yourself. Sooner or later cracks will start in a relationship if you are not. Resentment eventually grows and it becomes destructive to you and him. Besides, if the young man is a true Christian, one should not feel guilty about their faith as isn't a relationship with God based on love and understanding?

Now that was a nice post.

I think we've both accepted that getting the other to change their beliefs would be like trying to grow seaweed in the Atacama. I don't want him to, anyway - I don't expect anyone to give up something that is that big a part of their life, and if it makes him happy, then who would I be to take that away? As for me, even though I have no religion, I like to think of myself as a spiritual person. For now I think that'll do.

And Lisser, I knew there was a reason I wuved you :P

geeksandgeeks wrote:

bellydancer wrote:

Dear Geeks

When you are in a relationship, it is important to be openly and honestly the person that you are. Whilst everyone can seek to improve themselves, when it comes to core beliefs such as this, the partner must accept in loving that person that is who they are.

I will give you an example - my husband when he was way younger fell in with a girl that was a member of Assembly of God. She insisted that he come to meetings and to church and he, in wanting to please her did. My husband has since being a teenager had a love affair with music and the "Elders" of the Church made him feel so guilty about his collection that they made him get rid of it - I'm talking BURNING all the music they consider "evil". He eventually left them and the girl when they tried to take half of his wages as "donations to the church" and also tried to convince him that because his family weren't Assembly of God members that they were a "bad influence". Today he regrets having listened to them and her in the first place - simply just to please a girl.

Geeks, be yourself. Sooner or later cracks will start in a relationship if you are not. Resentment eventually grows and it becomes destructive to you and him. Besides, if the young man is a true Christian, one should not feel guilty about their faith as isn't a relationship with God based on love and understanding?

Now that was a nice post.

I think we've both accepted that getting the other to change their beliefs would be like trying to grow seaweed in the Atacama. I don't want him to, anyway - I don't expect anyone to give up something that is that big a part of their life, and if it makes him happy, then who would I be to take that away? As for me, even though I have no religion, I like to think of myself as a spiritual person. For now I think that'll do.

And Lisser, I knew there was a reason I wuved you :P

I wuv you too little Bluebird.

;)