Anyhow....
John was pedalling along on his pink five-year-old's bike, bobbing his head up and down and whistling a tune. (Which incidentally was not a Queen song) He knew what he had to do. He had to get out of the country as soon as possible before he was assassinated by the unknown forces who had been harrassing him and threatening to nuke him.
But where should he go? Where COULD he go? He remembered the song "Hey Joe" and recollected that the lyrics mentioned going down to Mexico to be free, so that was an obvious place to start. But he hated Mexican food. Then he thought about Japan and how well Queen were received there. But he couldn't be bothered to learn to use chopsticks. How about France? No, he'd be too tempted to commit suicide by jumping from the top of the Eiffel Tower. How about India? Nah, the curries were......
Wait!
India! That was the place! Freddie had very strong connections there and John was certain that they would take him under his wing there. Plus, Indian food was the best in the world. So spicy and mouth-wateringly tasty. That was the place to be.
So John pedalled to the docks, ignoring all the dirty looks he received from passers-by who thought it odd that a full-grown man was riding a child's bike. A pink one, at that. But John didn't mind. He was on his way to starting a new life away from the people who wanted to murder him. He whistled and hummed gaily as he pedalled to the docks. He could now ditch the idea of a sex change, which had never really appealed to him anyway.
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John reached the docks and only then remembered that he had forgotten to pack anything. He cursed for a moment, then shrugged his soldiers and said out loud: "New life, new beginning, new possessions."
He checked his pockets and found that he was still carrying the CD of him and Kim Possible making love loudly on a crowded beach. He smiled, particularly when he saw the words "Greatest Rock Songs" written on it. He decided to ask the captain to play it over the loudspeakers to entertain everyone on board. Even if the captain wouldn't play it, John would.
He walked up the gangplank onto the ship, stabbing the sailor outside the door through the heart quietly while doing so and dropping his body into the sea. He then wheeled his bicycle on and went towards a cabin, where he could relax and put his feet up.
He checked his pockets and found that he was still carrying the CD of him and Kim Possible making love loudly on a crowded beach. He smiled, particularly when he saw the words "Greatest Rock Songs" written on it. He decided to ask the captain to play it over the loudspeakers to entertain everyone on board. Even if the captain wouldn't play it, John would.
He walked up the gangplank onto the ship, stabbing the sailor outside the door through the heart quietly while doing so and dropping his body into the sea. He then wheeled his bicycle on and went towards a cabin, where he could relax and put his feet up.