Hi Lester!

Lester Burnham wrote:

Tom,

I'm still finding it hard to believe that your name is Tom. Then again, if you believe my name is Lester, then I have something implausible to sell you.

Speaking of selling things, I will reluctantly accept the kielbasa as a payment. And just because you're not as good looking as Lisser (who is, really?), doesn't mean you can't be a Lebanese. If you start to see dead people, engage in conversation with them. They can be really interesting if you just take the time to chat.

- Lester

Dear Lester,

I followed your instructions and engaged in conversation with dead people I see (yes- it did happen when I became a Lebanese- is it common?). Anyway- they told me your name is not Lester... However, I have to say they are really boring- the whole converstaion was up to me really, they just nodded. I tried with the party tricks but they still seemed bored... Or was it becuse they weren't Lebanese and didn't understand the word I was saying...? Anyway- I would like to assure you my name IS Tom, although to be perfectly honest- that's the translation. I won't give up the polish version as it just sounds silly. There's just one question I would like to ask- why am I writing those letters...? Is it an addiction?
Yours confused
Tom
PS
The second shipment of kielbasa is on the way.

Dear Lester,

I just ordered your book and will be greatly enlightened on the world of pick-pocketting as soon as it arrives.

Gratefully,

Miss James

Dear Lester,

What is the speed of sound divided by a whale?

Love,

iGSM?

Lester , I think you are becomming the new Dr. Phil , lmfao.

Fenderek wrote:

Dear Lester,

25 years ago I found out I'm Polish.
What can I do about it? I hope it's not contagious...

Regards

Tom

Greatest post ever.

(I forgot about this topic..!!!)

Lester and Tom... you guys are hilarious!

ya im dying laughing every time i read it too ...

Oh right. Er, I'd forgotten all about this. How embarrassing.

Fenderek wrote:

Dear Lester,

I followed your instructions and engaged in conversation with dead people I see (yes- it did happen when I became a Lebanese- is it common?). Anyway- they told me your name is not Lester... However, I have to say they are really boring- the whole converstaion was up to me really, they just nodded. I tried with the party tricks but they still seemed bored... Or was it becuse they weren't Lebanese and didn't understand the word I was saying...? Anyway- I would like to assure you my name IS Tom, although to be perfectly honest- that's the translation. I won't give up the polish version as it just sounds silly. There's just one question I would like to ask- why am I writing those letters...? Is it an addiction?
Yours confused
Tom
PS
The second shipment of kielbasa is on the way.

Tom,

I have received the second shipment of kielbasa, and I must say that it's delicious. I have used it to augment all sorts of meals - salads, cereal, oatmeal, soup... it's stunning, really. You ship a good kielbasa.

Incidentally, that's the reason that the Lebanese aren't talking to you, because even though you may have converted to their way of thinking, they still know that you are not one of them. I apologize for not telling you this sooner, but there's really not a lot you can do to rectify this situation. Unless you give them a nice patch of carpet - for some reason, and in my experience (many years of which there are), this always works. Then they will open up and start talking about things they like. For some reason, I've discovered they love parades.

Anyway, best of luck, and keep that kielbasa coming! Yum yum.

- Lester

iGSM wrote:

Dear Lester,

What is the speed of sound divided by a whale?

Love,

iGSM?

iGSM,

You know the answer. It lies within you. All you need to do is look down deep into your soul and discover the truth. Once you do that, you can live harmoniously with yourself and learn how to cook a good meal while doing it.

Failing that, the answer is the sine of boysenberry pie over the root of John Entwistle.

- Dr. Les

P.S. How's that for inspirational?

the_hero wrote:

Dear Lester,

talking about inspiritation, there is not much more left in me.

What can I do Oh you randomness and wise Lester?

the_hero,

As I do not want to botch your name, I have resorted to calling you "the_hero". I'm fairly certain it is Thijs, but my mind has honestly become swiss cheese. Impossible to remember even the slightest... err...

Anyway, I have looked at your charts, and you can rest assured that there is plenty left in you. In no specific order - and this is off the top of my head - I noticed a stomach, heart, pair of lungs, and about thirty feet of small and large intestine. I think there was more, but there was really a lot of arteries and veins blocking the view. According to approximations, this stuff will stay in you for at least another forty to fifty years.

And, if all else fails, a nice stiff drink does wonders. I recommend a double Jack Daniels on the rocks.

- Lester

which character are you Marial?

Are we talking Ox with sideburns or full beard Ox?

Yourself , in mortal kombat ... thats interesting ... i used to dream about playing inside of a john madden football game ... but never that dramatic

MK: Kabal is the man.

It's nioce to dig out some classics :)

Haha, this was a good time. I especially liked the part where I *falls asleep*

Dear Lester,

I've fallen and I can't get up. What do I do now?

Will you buy me a hawt dawg?