Dear Eric.
I am a spoon.
Jealous? SO DIE
Thread
Posts in chronological order
Hi Lester
My belly hurts 'cuz I ate too much vbananas with chocolate syrup... what do I do then????
Sincerily yours
Marial-B
I'll take this one if you don't mind Lester... *rubs MarialVy's belly... mmm :P
Lol!!!!!!!!!
can i watch? :P
In fact I want to be grapefruit's spoon.. unless she uses it for purposes I don´t want to find out....
At this moment.. only god knows what you are thinking about.
Hi Lester
My belly hurts 'cuz I ate too much vbananas with chocolate syrup... what do I do then????
Sincerily yours
Marial-B
I'll take this one if you don't mind Lester... *rubs MarialVy's belly... mmm :P
Lol!!!!!!!!!
can i watch? :P
It's G-Rated
and???
Hi Lester
My belly hurts 'cuz I ate too much vbananas with chocolate syrup... what do I do then????
Sincerily yours
Marial-B
I'll take this one if you don't mind Lester... *rubs MarialVy's belly... mmm :P
Lol!!!!!!!!!
can i watch? :P
It's G-Rated
and???
Sure silly
good good
*gets recorder*
all ready now ^_^
If you record it... you have to give me the rights
50% - 50%?
Well 33.33% to each one, okay???
noooooooooooooo!
50% to me
25% to each one of u!
omg what have i done! lmfao
indeed i must have ...all because i wanted to speak with lester ... sheesh lol
Well 33.33% to each one, okay???
noooooooooooooo!
50% to me
25% to each one of u!
Selfish b*tch :P
yes, i know... isnt it great?
Lester is quite the ladies man. Not that he has lots of ladies but when a topic becomes 'hot' he abandons it. I remember when he killed me for my flesh. I cursed that day for minutes at a time. He raped me and made fun of my village (it was called Arse).
Bastar.
D is coming in a new upgrade.
God, I should stay off the alcohol.
Bastar.
D is coming in a new upgrade.
God, I should stay off the alcohol.
Dear all,
I have returned. I will address your letters in the order in which they were received. But first, I will have some... alone time with myself, as I have been sitting in a car for the past seven hours.
Painfully,
Lester
I have returned. I will address your letters in the order in which they were received. But first, I will have some... alone time with myself, as I have been sitting in a car for the past seven hours.
Painfully,
Lester
Let's see here...
Miss James,
So good to hear from you! Well, the three year old boy is obviously a pick-pocketer. What you classify as coping a feel he classifies as a diversion as he steals your wallet from your pocket. Nevermind that you don't keep your wallet in your pocket; he doesn't know that. He's just trying to formulate a plan to use in later years.
Either that, or he thinks you're attractive. I'd go with that one, as it seems far more plausible, but if you want to believe the malarkey I fed you in my first paragraph, I wrote a book about it: "Young Boys And Their Wandering Hands".
Yours,
Lester
Tom,
I'm still finding it hard to believe that your name is Tom. Then again, if you believe my name is Lester, then I have something implausible to sell you.
Speaking of selling things, I will reluctantly accept the kielbasa as a payment. And just because you're not as good looking as Lisser (who is, really?), doesn't mean you can't be a Lebanese. If you start to see dead people, engage in conversation with them. They can be really interesting if you just take the time to chat.
- Lester
Sonia,
Your cat is probably suffering from aoxomoxaitis, which has yet to be defined by any kind of medical-sounding person, but roughly translates to the appreciation of The Grateful Dead. It is a very difficult "itis" to cure, as your cat will undoubtedly now be stoned off its gourd from now to eternity. The liberal use of marijuana will now cause your cat to become lackadasical and find things generally boring while listening to annoyingly slow jam rock and improvisations.
While we're on that subject, have your cat send me some weed and I will gladly send you as many Lebanese women you want.
Soberly yours,
Lester
Dear Lester,
This 3 year old boy at the daycare in which I work keeps coping feels with me. What do I do???
All coped out,
Miss James
Miss James,
So good to hear from you! Well, the three year old boy is obviously a pick-pocketer. What you classify as coping a feel he classifies as a diversion as he steals your wallet from your pocket. Nevermind that you don't keep your wallet in your pocket; he doesn't know that. He's just trying to formulate a plan to use in later years.
Either that, or he thinks you're attractive. I'd go with that one, as it seems far more plausible, but if you want to believe the malarkey I fed you in my first paragraph, I wrote a book about it: "Young Boys And Their Wandering Hands".
Yours,
Lester
Dear Lester
Is the shipment of $245.99 worth kielbasa all right?
Cheers,
Tom
PS
Is the fact that I don't look as good as Lisser a drawback...? Can an ordinary looking person become a Lebanese...? And what if I start to see dead people?
Tom,
I'm still finding it hard to believe that your name is Tom. Then again, if you believe my name is Lester, then I have something implausible to sell you.
Speaking of selling things, I will reluctantly accept the kielbasa as a payment. And just because you're not as good looking as Lisser (who is, really?), doesn't mean you can't be a Lebanese. If you start to see dead people, engage in conversation with them. They can be really interesting if you just take the time to chat.
- Lester
Dear Lester,
My cat doesnt find my guinea pig attractive any more... What do I have to do?
Btw... Can I borrow a Lebanese woman?
Yours trully,
Sonia
Sonia,
Your cat is probably suffering from aoxomoxaitis, which has yet to be defined by any kind of medical-sounding person, but roughly translates to the appreciation of The Grateful Dead. It is a very difficult "itis" to cure, as your cat will undoubtedly now be stoned off its gourd from now to eternity. The liberal use of marijuana will now cause your cat to become lackadasical and find things generally boring while listening to annoyingly slow jam rock and improvisations.
While we're on that subject, have your cat send me some weed and I will gladly send you as many Lebanese women you want.
Soberly yours,
Lester
Dear Eric.
I am a spoon.
Jealous? SO DIE
Dear Pete Townshend,
Please record another album.
Thank you.
- Lester
Hi Lester
My belly hurts 'cuz I ate too much vbananas with chocolate syrup... what do I do then????
Sincerily yours
Marial-B
Dear Maria,
Well, obviously that Dutch wonder Thijs has beaten me to it, but I think you should know that he, in no way, shape, or form, represents my opinions or remedies, nor is he affiliated with my way of thinking or Lestco Inc. Refunds and complaints can be handled by anyone but me, as I am too fragile emotionally and cannot handle criticism all that well.
- Lester
Hmmm,
If Lester were here I think he would tell all of you people who think you are or want to be spoons, that perhaps all you need is a nice soak in a cup of hot tea.
Now on to my problems.
Dear Lester, I keep having this uncontrollable urge to type piss off wanker, piss off wanker, piss off wanker, over and over again.....wait,
No I'm cured of that. But I still don't know what to do about all the sex, violence, language, and nudity on my VCR.
Dear EvilTwin,
You obviously misinterpret my penchant for hot tea. I actually can't stand the stuff, and wouldn't wish anyone to float in it as that is probably the worst punishment imaginable. Of course, nobody has wronged me quite yet, but if someone should... well, best get your two sugars and cream ready, eh!
Your problem, as I see it, has to do with the confusion over the meaning of "piss off". Americanly, it means to "irritate", while in Britishish it is to mean "fuck off". You are obviously thinking of the other definition - "piss" as in "urinating" - and have punctuated your sentence poorly. Generously, I have altered it for you; it should read, "piss, off wank. er?" Because this is the case, I can only offer you grammar lessons and a confused "what the fuck".
In regards to the sex, violence, language, and nudity on your VCR, you may want to eject your amateurly-made wedding night video and turn on something more wholesome.
- Lester
Dear Lester,
I am very thankful for the diagnosis u gave to my cat. I will now be able to solve his problems.
About the weed, how much do you want?
Yours trully,
Sonia
I am very thankful for the diagnosis u gave to my cat. I will now be able to solve his problems.
About the weed, how much do you want?
Yours trully,
Sonia