My mom used to kick the shit outta me 3 times a week (or more), she started when I was three or four years old. Did I deserve it? Hmm... NO. She would hit me because of getting my clothes dirty after playing outside or while I was eating, when I was little I wasn't allowed to hang out with boys, I had to wear clothes that she told me to wear, when I went to school getting a B was totally unacceptable, she would always put too much food on my plate and I had to eat it all... She would hit me whenever she liked to, usually without reason, it didn't matter, she would make out her own reasons. And we are not talking about spanking here, she would hit me with all kinds of objects (belt, piece of wood, it didn't matter), once after slapping my face she had to put an ice on her hand. xD Her quotes were: "I'm going to kill a God in you!" and sometimes before she would hit me she would say "I'm so sorry, but I have to do this.". Today she says she had to do it otherwise I would grow up in who knows what. I personally think that parents shouldn't hit their kids, they should learn how to communicate with them and not raising them in fear. If I ever decide to have my own kids I will never hit them because first of all, I can't hit a dog with the newspaper if he/she pees inside the house lol. I could never treat them the way she treated me because I remember how I felt back then and I don't want my kids to see me as some kind of monster and person of who they should be afraid. Parents should act with their kids like they are their close friends and be able to talk with them about anything, solving problems WITHOUT hitting. :)
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This thread is fucking awesome. I feel like I've seen a good shrink.
My dad did beat me a few times, but those few times he slapped me or spanked me were good enough to make me shit scared of him. Once he slapped me really bad when I was 6 because he was trying to explain my homework to me, but I didn't get what he was trying to tell me. I wasn't being a brat or anything, and for a while I held some resentment against him because it's unfair to hit someone when they haven't done anything out of malice or any kind of bad behavior.
My mom on the other hand has had plenty of reasons to hit me, but she has never laid a hand on me. She has yelled at me, and threatened me a countless number of times but she never hit me. Once she attempted to by tossing the cap of a garbage can at me, but I dodged it Matrix style.
My mom on the other hand has had plenty of reasons to hit me, but she has never laid a hand on me. She has yelled at me, and threatened me a countless number of times but she never hit me. Once she attempted to by tossing the cap of a garbage can at me, but I dodged it Matrix style.
I was a right naughty little shit, of course I was hit. Never hard though. I don't think it's had an adverse effect, and it doesn't bother me in the slightest.
Ahh, I've been blessed with wonderful parents.
When I was a kid, my dad only hit me...maybe three times as I can remember. And those times I really deserved it, because I was a rotten little shit at times. After spanking me, after I had calmed down my dad would talk with me and everything would be cool. I certainly didn't like it at the time, but I can barely remember it now, and I wasn't scared of my dad in the slightest.
Yeah. My mom and dad are pretty cool.
When I was a kid, my dad only hit me...maybe three times as I can remember. And those times I really deserved it, because I was a rotten little shit at times. After spanking me, after I had calmed down my dad would talk with me and everything would be cool. I certainly didn't like it at the time, but I can barely remember it now, and I wasn't scared of my dad in the slightest.
Yeah. My mom and dad are pretty cool.
I don't believe in hitting kids, but there must be some sort of physical behavior to show kids who is in control.
Just like 'The Dog Whisperer'.
Just like 'The Dog Whisperer'.
[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Mr.Jingles wrote: [/QUOTENAME] Once she attempted to by tossing the cap of a garbage can at me, but I dodged it Matrix style.[/QUOTE]
LOL
LOL
My Dad was a drunk when I was young, so, yeah. Ha!
My parents didn't beat me enough when I was little. They hardly did it at all. I can remember lots of instances in which they should have beat the piss out of me, but didn't.
And look what a prick I've become.
And look what a prick I've become.
[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Bob The Shrek wrote: [/QUOTENAME]I was smacked as a kid and not just by my parents - my friends parents and my teachers used to give me a clip round the head now and again! Consequently I have never been in trouble with the police, never done drugs, never broken into someone's house, never vandalised or stole cars and I never carry a weapon of any sort.
Compare that to the kids of today and I am glad that I grew up in the 60's.[/QUOTE]
My old dad wasn't shy when it came to giving me a dull one around the head and like Bob I had many a clip around the ear from teachers and the like. I on the other hand have been on the wrong side of the law on several occasions and whilst I wouldn't go so far as to call it an addiction, I did have a drug problem.
I'm not sure if this had anything to do with being hit as a kid but it's food for thought.
Personally I dont hit my own kids (except in self defence) but that's because they've never really given me reason to do so. There are some kids out there (Jake for example) who are in dire need of a size 10 boot up the arse.
fatty.
Compare that to the kids of today and I am glad that I grew up in the 60's.[/QUOTE]
My old dad wasn't shy when it came to giving me a dull one around the head and like Bob I had many a clip around the ear from teachers and the like. I on the other hand have been on the wrong side of the law on several occasions and whilst I wouldn't go so far as to call it an addiction, I did have a drug problem.
I'm not sure if this had anything to do with being hit as a kid but it's food for thought.
Personally I dont hit my own kids (except in self defence) but that's because they've never really given me reason to do so. There are some kids out there (Jake for example) who are in dire need of a size 10 boot up the arse.
fatty.
[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Erin wrote: [/QUOTENAME][QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Mr.Jingles wrote: [/QUOTENAME] Once she attempted to by tossing the cap of a garbage can at me, but I dodged it Matrix style.[/QUOTE]
LOL[/QUOTE]
LMFAO.
I fuckin' love that movie.
:D
LOL[/QUOTE]
LMFAO.
I fuckin' love that movie.
:D
I never had the sh*t kicked of me by my folks, but I did get the odd hairbrush round the head (cheers mam) and once or twice I got my dads back hand round my chops (they were like shovels!!) for getting caught drinking and being totally wasted onm white lightening when I was 14 or 15, but I can honestly say I deserved it and that I was a little shit in my teens.... Thank the lord they never found out about the joy-riding!!!
"And that's basically what you want to do, if you're hitting your kids; dumb them down and get them used to a life of being controlled and subordinate."
Yes, absolutely right. You teach the child better not to speak up if someone stronger disapproves. I am not saying that beaten children all grow up to be child abusers or wife beaters but all child abusers and wife beaters were beaten in their childhood.
And yes, I am probably one of the disapproving "good doers": I call the police without hesitating a second when I see an adult raising their hands against a defenseless child, it's the worst and makes my blood boil. Children need protection and a safe home and beating them means that they have no place to go, they are at the mercy of their abusive parents. There is no excuse for hitting a child, it's mean and cruel. I have 3 sisters and my parents never once hit any of us and we still did not drop out of school or became drug addicts or ended in jail. There is no need to hit children in order to teach them respect or to know right from wrong. They learn it from loving parents, through good example, trust and love.
Yes, absolutely right. You teach the child better not to speak up if someone stronger disapproves. I am not saying that beaten children all grow up to be child abusers or wife beaters but all child abusers and wife beaters were beaten in their childhood.
And yes, I am probably one of the disapproving "good doers": I call the police without hesitating a second when I see an adult raising their hands against a defenseless child, it's the worst and makes my blood boil. Children need protection and a safe home and beating them means that they have no place to go, they are at the mercy of their abusive parents. There is no excuse for hitting a child, it's mean and cruel. I have 3 sisters and my parents never once hit any of us and we still did not drop out of school or became drug addicts or ended in jail. There is no need to hit children in order to teach them respect or to know right from wrong. They learn it from loving parents, through good example, trust and love.
Ms. Rebel I want to say that I feel sad about what you went through when you were a child. That is what I call physical and psychological abuse.
Personally, my mother used to chase me around with a flip flop and gave me a few swats when she caught me. It only happened if she got very frustrated from me not listening.
It's better to teach non violent punishment for kids because some adults can get out of hand.
My daughter is 14 now and I have given her a few little spankings here and ther, not as punishment, but I have to recognise it was just a way of taking out my frustrations, she can be very, very stuborn.
So, I believe physical violence is not a form of discipline, but is a way of releasing anger, frustration in the part of the adult, it has nothing to do with the child.
For example what happened to Mr. Jingles when his father slappned him for not understanding the homework. Probably, Mr. Jingles, your father felt frustrated and angry at himself for not being able to teach you and instead of blaming himself for not being able to teach, he blamed you.
Children will tests their parents to no end. I believe that we as parents should have tons of patience and talk to the kids till our tongue run dry, and then talk some more. Teach them by extablishing limits and by example and give them lots of love.
That's what I do with my daughter. She's a good kid. Last time I remember I chased her with a wooden spoon, the situation was so ridiculous and funny that we ended up both cracking up on the floor laughing.
Personally, my mother used to chase me around with a flip flop and gave me a few swats when she caught me. It only happened if she got very frustrated from me not listening.
It's better to teach non violent punishment for kids because some adults can get out of hand.
My daughter is 14 now and I have given her a few little spankings here and ther, not as punishment, but I have to recognise it was just a way of taking out my frustrations, she can be very, very stuborn.
So, I believe physical violence is not a form of discipline, but is a way of releasing anger, frustration in the part of the adult, it has nothing to do with the child.
For example what happened to Mr. Jingles when his father slappned him for not understanding the homework. Probably, Mr. Jingles, your father felt frustrated and angry at himself for not being able to teach you and instead of blaming himself for not being able to teach, he blamed you.
Children will tests their parents to no end. I believe that we as parents should have tons of patience and talk to the kids till our tongue run dry, and then talk some more. Teach them by extablishing limits and by example and give them lots of love.
That's what I do with my daughter. She's a good kid. Last time I remember I chased her with a wooden spoon, the situation was so ridiculous and funny that we ended up both cracking up on the floor laughing.
I completely agree with Ms. Rebel, this is a absolute therapy thread:
Hitting doesn't tend to get to me as much as insults do, but I DO remember getting hit lots for talking back. I never did it rudely- I'd always start my argument with a reasonable voice and something like 'I understand where you're coming from and I respect that, but I also think that blah blah blah...' I was never the little twat that pulled shit like 'I hate you' or 'but my friends are doing it'. It just made me really sad when I did everything that Highlights magazine and shit said and nothing worked in my favour. :( Actually, my dad STILL does this creepy reach-back thing when we're in the car ( me in the seat behind his ) and I won't shut up- he'll shoot his right hand backwards and just slap the shit out of whatever he can reach. That's when I unbuckle myself and move to the seat behind mine, wait a minute, and then continue where I dropped off. I still try the Highlights approach, but I'll get arrogant when I remember that it never did me any good. The part that gets me angry, though, is that they only started hitting when the problems got more complicated than tantrums at a toy store.
Hitting doesn't tend to get to me as much as insults do, but I DO remember getting hit lots for talking back. I never did it rudely- I'd always start my argument with a reasonable voice and something like 'I understand where you're coming from and I respect that, but I also think that blah blah blah...' I was never the little twat that pulled shit like 'I hate you' or 'but my friends are doing it'. It just made me really sad when I did everything that Highlights magazine and shit said and nothing worked in my favour. :( Actually, my dad STILL does this creepy reach-back thing when we're in the car ( me in the seat behind his ) and I won't shut up- he'll shoot his right hand backwards and just slap the shit out of whatever he can reach. That's when I unbuckle myself and move to the seat behind mine, wait a minute, and then continue where I dropped off. I still try the Highlights approach, but I'll get arrogant when I remember that it never did me any good. The part that gets me angry, though, is that they only started hitting when the problems got more complicated than tantrums at a toy store.