[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]MamaQueen wrote: [/QUOTENAME]Ms. Rebel I want to say that I feel sad about what you went through when you were a child. That is what I call physical and psychological abuse.[/QUOTE]
Thank you for your sympathies. ;)
My dad never hit me. Worse thing he did was raising his voice at me but ten minutes after he would come to my room and start apologizing lol. One time I did something, I don't remember what it was.. He had shaving foam on his face and was wearing boxers and undershirt. He was chasing me around the table in the dinning room with ladle in his hand. He failed catching me, also slipped and fell on the floor.
xD
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Hopefully I won't be that shitty of a parent that my kids have no manners.
But if I'd have to (if they're totally out of control), I could probably give 'em a slap or two. It's probably nothing I'd feel good about though.
But if I'd have to (if they're totally out of control), I could probably give 'em a slap or two. It's probably nothing I'd feel good about though.
Hitting children is an 'old world' method that has only recently drawn scorn from society. It's clearly a poor way to teach them right from wrong since it doesn't teach them WHY it's wrong to do whatever it is they've done. It takes more time, effort and patience to talk to little ones when they misbehave but if you start early enough they'll soon learn to think for themselves and (hopefully) make the right choices when you're not there to guide them.
And yes, I was hit as a kid. Did I deserve it? At the time I thought I did. Now I know for a fact I did not.
And yes, I was hit as a kid. Did I deserve it? At the time I thought I did. Now I know for a fact I did not.
[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]YourValentine wrote: [/QUOTENAME]"And that's basically what you want to do, if you're hitting your kids; dumb them down and get them used to a life of being controlled and subordinate."
Yes, absolutely right. You teach the child better not to speak up if someone stronger disapproves. I am not saying that beaten children all grow up to be child abusers or wife beaters but all child abusers and wife beaters were beaten in their childhood.
And yes, I am probably one of the disapproving "good doers": I call the police without hesitating a second when I see an adult raising their hands against a defenseless child, it's the worst and makes my blood boil. Children need protection and a safe home and beating them means that they have no place to go, they are at the mercy of their abusive parents. There is no excuse for hitting a child, it's mean and cruel. I have 3 sisters and my parents never once hit any of us and we still did not drop out of school or became drug addicts or ended in jail. There is no need to hit children in order to teach them respect or to know right from wrong. They learn it from loving parents, through good example, trust and love.
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I don't blame you for calling the cops. If I saw someone doing that, I would to, I'd probably try to stop them as well.
Yes, absolutely right. You teach the child better not to speak up if someone stronger disapproves. I am not saying that beaten children all grow up to be child abusers or wife beaters but all child abusers and wife beaters were beaten in their childhood.
And yes, I am probably one of the disapproving "good doers": I call the police without hesitating a second when I see an adult raising their hands against a defenseless child, it's the worst and makes my blood boil. Children need protection and a safe home and beating them means that they have no place to go, they are at the mercy of their abusive parents. There is no excuse for hitting a child, it's mean and cruel. I have 3 sisters and my parents never once hit any of us and we still did not drop out of school or became drug addicts or ended in jail. There is no need to hit children in order to teach them respect or to know right from wrong. They learn it from loving parents, through good example, trust and love.
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I don't blame you for calling the cops. If I saw someone doing that, I would to, I'd probably try to stop them as well.
Nobody deserves it. Every human being has a right to be physically untouched and children are human beings, there is no justification to deny them this basic right. On the contrary: they are small, helpless and dependent, they need to be protected against all kinds of physical and emotional abuse. Somehow many people seem to think that it is okay for children to be beaten for their "own good" but I still have to hear a remotely convincing reason why it should be good for children to be beaten by the parents who are there to protect them and to keep them safe.
MamaQueen raised a very valid point saying that often parents just act out their frustration when they hit the kids - how low is that? What do we say when an abusive husband "acts out" his frustration and he hits his wife? Do we wonder if she deserves it? Of course not. The fact that he is bigger and stronger does not give him the right to hit anyone in his family - wife or kids.
MamaQueen raised a very valid point saying that often parents just act out their frustration when they hit the kids - how low is that? What do we say when an abusive husband "acts out" his frustration and he hits his wife? Do we wonder if she deserves it? Of course not. The fact that he is bigger and stronger does not give him the right to hit anyone in his family - wife or kids.
i was only spanked maybe 2 or 3 times. it was more of a startling thing for me than painful. it never actually hurt. my family is a bit old fashioned.
but i actually did deserve it those times. i was told several times not to run in the road, or go into a construction zone,etc and i did it anyway. its that age where you test the authorities of your family, and they taught me to resepct them when we were young. we had the whole 'it takes a villiage to raise a family' aspect, which i feel has sadly been lost. i have a respect for my elders, even if some dont deserve it at times, and im nice to everyone around me and i dont use anyone.
i feel psychological abuse is worse. i dont know how many times people (teachers) called me stupid or lazy in school because i asked a question or misunderstood something. or worse, i would be punished for something and not know what i did wrong. they were more about stopping an action instead of telling me what to stop. so i was often sent mixed messages in school and i then became rebellious, since i felt no matter what i did, it was wrong, i might as well had given them a reason to punish me. other than that, it just gave me complexes i will never be able to recover from.
(i could go on a tangent about how theres a double edged sword with schools and discipline now but i want to try and avoid that topic in this thread)
but i digress. as for my parents, they were neither strict nor lieniant. they knew i was a smart kid with a good head on her shoulders and knew what to stay away from and when to judge when things were ok. i had no desire to run away, hurt, steal, do drugs or any of that, and i still dont. if i did, that would make me an ungrateful brat :) and anything i do at this point is my problem, not theirs haha.
but that isnt to say my parents had their moments where they were wrong or stupid on a decision but again, i digress.
in a nutshell, i was never beaten, but i also never had a reason to be. those handful of times when i was spanked it was when i was WAY out of line or put myself in danger....in a way, a spanking-2 seconds of a startling sting, is easier to heal than being hit by a bus where i could be crippled or dead.
worked for me. if i ever had children, would i do it? yes, but i would never beat them senseless, or harm them in any way, and only if the situation absolutly called for it. my parents also always explained to me why i did what i did was wrong. otherwise, what is the sense in the spanking? the kid probably had no idea why the situation was so bad.
and beata, i believe that is why you have a rebellious side, like most others who do. you probably felt at a young age that no matter what you did is wrong, so if you were gonna do anything on your own accord and you knew it was wrong, at least you had a reason, right? cuz thats how i was in school. correct me if im wrong :)
but i actually did deserve it those times. i was told several times not to run in the road, or go into a construction zone,etc and i did it anyway. its that age where you test the authorities of your family, and they taught me to resepct them when we were young. we had the whole 'it takes a villiage to raise a family' aspect, which i feel has sadly been lost. i have a respect for my elders, even if some dont deserve it at times, and im nice to everyone around me and i dont use anyone.
i feel psychological abuse is worse. i dont know how many times people (teachers) called me stupid or lazy in school because i asked a question or misunderstood something. or worse, i would be punished for something and not know what i did wrong. they were more about stopping an action instead of telling me what to stop. so i was often sent mixed messages in school and i then became rebellious, since i felt no matter what i did, it was wrong, i might as well had given them a reason to punish me. other than that, it just gave me complexes i will never be able to recover from.
(i could go on a tangent about how theres a double edged sword with schools and discipline now but i want to try and avoid that topic in this thread)
but i digress. as for my parents, they were neither strict nor lieniant. they knew i was a smart kid with a good head on her shoulders and knew what to stay away from and when to judge when things were ok. i had no desire to run away, hurt, steal, do drugs or any of that, and i still dont. if i did, that would make me an ungrateful brat :) and anything i do at this point is my problem, not theirs haha.
but that isnt to say my parents had their moments where they were wrong or stupid on a decision but again, i digress.
in a nutshell, i was never beaten, but i also never had a reason to be. those handful of times when i was spanked it was when i was WAY out of line or put myself in danger....in a way, a spanking-2 seconds of a startling sting, is easier to heal than being hit by a bus where i could be crippled or dead.
worked for me. if i ever had children, would i do it? yes, but i would never beat them senseless, or harm them in any way, and only if the situation absolutly called for it. my parents also always explained to me why i did what i did was wrong. otherwise, what is the sense in the spanking? the kid probably had no idea why the situation was so bad.
and beata, i believe that is why you have a rebellious side, like most others who do. you probably felt at a young age that no matter what you did is wrong, so if you were gonna do anything on your own accord and you knew it was wrong, at least you had a reason, right? cuz thats how i was in school. correct me if im wrong :)
[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Lady Nyx wrote: [/QUOTENAME] and beata, i believe that is why you have a rebellious side, like most others who do. you probably felt at a young age that no matter what you did is wrong, so if you were gonna do anything on your own accord and you knew it was wrong, at least you had a reason, right? cuz thats how i was in school. correct me if im wrong :)[/QUOTE]
Could be... ;)
Could be... ;)
[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Mr.Jingles wrote: [/QUOTENAME] Once she attempted to by tossing the cap of a garbage can at me, but I dodged it Matrix style.[/QUOTE]
Hah! A couple of weeks ago my Dad and I got in an argument and I was sitting in a chair at the kitchen table. He got so furious he grabbed the chair and thrust it at me. I hardly ever make either of my parents that bloody mad. XD
[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Carol! the Musical wrote: [/QUOTENAME]... Actually, my dad STILL does this creepy reach-back thing when we're in the car ( me in the seat behind his ) and I won't shut up- he'll shoot his right hand backwards and just slap the shit out of whatever he can reach.[/QUOTE]
My mum and dad did that shit, but instead they'd pinch us. They have iron pincers! xD When we were little and would talk back while in the car a hand would always shoot back and the fingertips would clamp onto someone's leg for like ten seconds. It hurt like hell. XD Once my dad reached back to pinch my brother but wasn't looking and instead got me. Wtf. -_-
. . . My Dad also does this dumb thing where he threatens to hit you (But again, only if he gets really really pissed off) by grabbing the nearest thing to him and holding it up like he's going to strike you with it. He's threatened to hit me with pillows, stuffed animals, my Geometry folder and was once going to whoop me with a towel. When he got really mad he snatched this Teddy bear off my bed and held it up in the air like he was going to whack me with it. I went from being scared at the threat of him hitting me to actually laughing because it was so absurd. XD I also remember how he was once washing the dishes and I was standing at the counter and said something fresh, so he tossed a cup of dishwater in my face.
And my mum. . . Once she beat my ass with one of my dad's belts (Which, my God, hurt like hell XDD) because she was so pissed at me, and then I was too prideful to take the hint and shut the fuck up, so I shouted from my room after she went downstairs "IT DIDN'T HURT AT ALL!! IT WAS LIKE A BUTT MASSAGE!". O_o And then I heard "Oh, REALLY?" and the sound of feet coming back up the steps and the jingling of the belt buckle.
I think that was my last belt whooping. XD
Hah! A couple of weeks ago my Dad and I got in an argument and I was sitting in a chair at the kitchen table. He got so furious he grabbed the chair and thrust it at me. I hardly ever make either of my parents that bloody mad. XD
[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Carol! the Musical wrote: [/QUOTENAME]... Actually, my dad STILL does this creepy reach-back thing when we're in the car ( me in the seat behind his ) and I won't shut up- he'll shoot his right hand backwards and just slap the shit out of whatever he can reach.[/QUOTE]
My mum and dad did that shit, but instead they'd pinch us. They have iron pincers! xD When we were little and would talk back while in the car a hand would always shoot back and the fingertips would clamp onto someone's leg for like ten seconds. It hurt like hell. XD Once my dad reached back to pinch my brother but wasn't looking and instead got me. Wtf. -_-
. . . My Dad also does this dumb thing where he threatens to hit you (But again, only if he gets really really pissed off) by grabbing the nearest thing to him and holding it up like he's going to strike you with it. He's threatened to hit me with pillows, stuffed animals, my Geometry folder and was once going to whoop me with a towel. When he got really mad he snatched this Teddy bear off my bed and held it up in the air like he was going to whack me with it. I went from being scared at the threat of him hitting me to actually laughing because it was so absurd. XD I also remember how he was once washing the dishes and I was standing at the counter and said something fresh, so he tossed a cup of dishwater in my face.
And my mum. . . Once she beat my ass with one of my dad's belts (Which, my God, hurt like hell XDD) because she was so pissed at me, and then I was too prideful to take the hint and shut the fuck up, so I shouted from my room after she went downstairs "IT DIDN'T HURT AT ALL!! IT WAS LIKE A BUTT MASSAGE!". O_o And then I heard "Oh, REALLY?" and the sound of feet coming back up the steps and the jingling of the belt buckle.
I think that was my last belt whooping. XD
i got the belt, hairbrush and hand slapped a few times growing up
as someone else said afterwards there would be a talk--expectations laid out etc.
my parents never beat me just to beat me or vent out frustrations.
i turned out ok
oh yes a PS-to a lovely lady that has sent me a email through the zone..you know who you are...i tried to respond back but it doesnt work for me... i miss ya...miss our emails and talks and wait patiently for the day we finally meet....
as someone else said afterwards there would be a talk--expectations laid out etc.
my parents never beat me just to beat me or vent out frustrations.
i turned out ok
oh yes a PS-to a lovely lady that has sent me a email through the zone..you know who you are...i tried to respond back but it doesnt work for me... i miss ya...miss our emails and talks and wait patiently for the day we finally meet....
[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]iron eagle wrote: [/QUOTENAME]i got the belt, hairbrush and hand slapped a few times growing up
as someone else said afterwards there would be a talk--expectations laid out etc.
my parents never beat me just to beat me or vent out frustrations.
i turned out ok
oh yes a PS-to a lovely lady that has sent me a email through the zone..you know who you are...i tried to respond back but it doesnt work for me... i miss ya...miss our emails and talks and wait patiently for the day we finally meet....[/QUOTE]
It will work if you erase the message they sent you when you reply...
as someone else said afterwards there would be a talk--expectations laid out etc.
my parents never beat me just to beat me or vent out frustrations.
i turned out ok
oh yes a PS-to a lovely lady that has sent me a email through the zone..you know who you are...i tried to respond back but it doesnt work for me... i miss ya...miss our emails and talks and wait patiently for the day we finally meet....[/QUOTE]
It will work if you erase the message they sent you when you reply...
MMM, dey hit me nice and hard. I like, I like.
[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Mr.Jingles wrote: [/QUOTENAME] Once she attempted to by tossing the cap of a garbage can at me, but I dodged it Matrix style.[/QUOTE]
You are such a rock star, Jingles!
You are such a rock star, Jingles!
My mom used to hit me, yeah. My dad, never.
[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Sergei? wrote: [/QUOTENAME] I also remember how he was once washing the dishes and I was standing at the counter and said something fresh, so he tossed a cup of dishwater in my face.
And my mum. . . Once she beat my ass with one of my dad's belts (Which, my God, hurt like hell XDD) because she was so pissed at me, and then I was too prideful to take the hint and shut the fuck up, so I shouted from my room after she went downstairs "IT DIDN'T HURT AT ALL!! IT WAS LIKE A BUTT MASSAGE!". O_o And then I heard "Oh, REALLY?" and the sound of feet coming back up the steps and the jingling of the belt buckle.
[/QUOTE]
Oh my God, butt massages and dishwater. I did something like the former, but I locked my door and pressed myself against it in case my mother took out the key. XDDD
And my mum. . . Once she beat my ass with one of my dad's belts (Which, my God, hurt like hell XDD) because she was so pissed at me, and then I was too prideful to take the hint and shut the fuck up, so I shouted from my room after she went downstairs "IT DIDN'T HURT AT ALL!! IT WAS LIKE A BUTT MASSAGE!". O_o And then I heard "Oh, REALLY?" and the sound of feet coming back up the steps and the jingling of the belt buckle.
[/QUOTE]
Oh my God, butt massages and dishwater. I did something like the former, but I locked my door and pressed myself against it in case my mother took out the key. XDDD