[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Jake? wrote: [/QUOTENAME][QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Sergei. wrote: [/QUOTENAME][QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Jake? wrote: [/QUOTENAME]My friend's dad took a cigar and burned his arm with it, cause he spilled paint in the garage. He also bought him a carton of cigarettes for Christmas and said "Smoke up Johnny"[/QUOTE]
Been watching one too many airings of The Breakfast Club, have we?
Shouldn't you be changing your baby's diaper instead? He shit his pants. I smell it from here. [/QUOTE]
IT WERENT ME! IT WAS BRIAN MAY!!![/QUOTE]
You fail at life.
If I could vote more than once on the "Should Jake Kill Himself" Poll I would indeed.
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[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Sergei. wrote: [/QUOTENAME][QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Jake? wrote: [/QUOTENAME][QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Sergei. wrote: [/QUOTENAME][QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Jake? wrote: [/QUOTENAME]My friend's dad took a cigar and burned his arm with it, cause he spilled paint in the garage. He also bought him a carton of cigarettes for Christmas and said "Smoke up Johnny"[/QUOTE]
Been watching one too many airings of The Breakfast Club, have we?
Shouldn't you be changing your baby's diaper instead? He shit his pants. I smell it from here. [/QUOTE]
IT WERENT ME! IT WAS BRIAN MAY!!![/QUOTE]
You fail at life.
If I could vote more than once on the "Should Jake Kill Himself" Poll I would indeed. [/QUOTE]
Are you gay? I'm just curious.
Been watching one too many airings of The Breakfast Club, have we?
Shouldn't you be changing your baby's diaper instead? He shit his pants. I smell it from here. [/QUOTE]
IT WERENT ME! IT WAS BRIAN MAY!!![/QUOTE]
You fail at life.
If I could vote more than once on the "Should Jake Kill Himself" Poll I would indeed. [/QUOTE]
Are you gay? I'm just curious.
[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Jake? wrote: [/QUOTENAME][QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Sergei. wrote: [/QUOTENAME][QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Jake? wrote: [/QUOTENAME][QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Sergei. wrote: [/QUOTENAME][QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Jake? wrote: [/QUOTENAME]My friend's dad took a cigar and burned his arm with it, cause he spilled paint in the garage. He also bought him a carton of cigarettes for Christmas and said "Smoke up Johnny"[/QUOTE]
Been watching one too many airings of The Breakfast Club, have we?
Shouldn't you be changing your baby's diaper instead? He shit his pants. I smell it from here. [/QUOTE]
IT WERENT ME! IT WAS BRIAN MAY!!![/QUOTE]
You fail at life.
If I could vote more than once on the "Should Jake Kill Himself" Poll I would indeed. [/QUOTE]
Are you gay? I'm just curious.[/QUOTE]
Gayer than Nureyev, mon chéri.
Been watching one too many airings of The Breakfast Club, have we?
Shouldn't you be changing your baby's diaper instead? He shit his pants. I smell it from here. [/QUOTE]
IT WERENT ME! IT WAS BRIAN MAY!!![/QUOTE]
You fail at life.
If I could vote more than once on the "Should Jake Kill Himself" Poll I would indeed. [/QUOTE]
Are you gay? I'm just curious.[/QUOTE]
Gayer than Nureyev, mon chéri.
I believe I was a few times. It took a bit to stir up the folks.
Now, the cattle prod on the other hand...
I'll not hit my kids until they're eighteen. Then I'm gonna take out eighteen years of frustration on their ungrateful asses! ;-)
Now, the cattle prod on the other hand...
I'll not hit my kids until they're eighteen. Then I'm gonna take out eighteen years of frustration on their ungrateful asses! ;-)
My girlfriend spanks me.
yes
once for being adamant about using condinitoner in my hair after i washed my body (i was 5 and my dad was helping me shower that night) and another time for telling my brother to get out of my room, something that i had done many times....
he was kinda pissed at my brothers already so.....
once for being adamant about using condinitoner in my hair after i washed my body (i was 5 and my dad was helping me shower that night) and another time for telling my brother to get out of my room, something that i had done many times....
he was kinda pissed at my brothers already so.....
I got smacked -- sometimes i deserved it, i think more when i was fairly young i was pretty lively and got myself into some major trouble (eg, i now know it is NOT a good idea to throw stones at cars just cos the big boys up the road do :/) But i dont rly remember being smacked much as a small child, more when i was 7 - 10... think my mum had read some heavy handed parenting books or something around then! Sometimes i deserved it, but remember two times when i didnt -- accidents, being 'disrespectful' (by using an expression that my mother used herself :/ ) , stuff like that, and i remember being rly rly upset abt that. But it wasnt over the top or anything. I work with kids so i'm pretty much against smacking -- but if i had a child and the child was doing something dangerous, idk, i dont think a tap on the hand does much harm, esp if the child is reaching constantly for dangerous or 'forbidden' stuff or a child who is pinching. In my opinion that can make the link in the child's mind between the action and remembeing not to do it - i pinch and my hand is sore makes sense. I think in general tho there are far far better ways to deal with misbehaviour - time out, natural consequences (i once knew a child who could throw her dinner on the floor and was then given ice cream! - not a good consequence!) , talking or similar, without the need for violence. We wouldnt hit an adult who was talking back or something, so why hit a child, just because they are smaller. It is so easy for discipline to become a power struggle, and this does no good for either the child or the parent.
Did I get hit as a kid? Yes......and Im a better person for it. Thats why there are so many little scrotes running around the UK now cos its outlawed.
Yes, I received my unfair share of physical punishment. Being pulled from my hair was probably the most common punishment. The occasional fillip was also administered by my father, my mother preferred the hair method. My grandfather event gave me a taste of a birch branch. I was physically punished by grandparents, parents and close relatives, basically by any close (trusted) kinfolk. In my childhood in the 80s It was (and is) dangerously common, even though it is was outlawed here in 1984 (the parent's right to "discipline" their children was abolished in the late 70s).
In retrospect I think what my parents did was disgusting, I think part of it was their own upbringing. They simply continued the tradition they had been brought up on. You did not mess with your parents or elders, or you got whooped. Part of it was, that my parents were much younger than most people today who have kids. They were immature young parents, and I guess they were venting their frustration over their youth being cut short. Yes, this almost sounds like I'm making excuses for them. But I do want to understand their behaviour. It's not as if it was a daily or weekly thing, to get punished like that, but the fact that it occasionally happened, and that they thought it was a good decent thing to do, to hit your own child, I simply find it hard to understand.
I now have a son (1 year 4 months), and my wife has grown up without physical punishment. She can only roll her eyes at the things I've experienced in my youth. And yes, she is the sane, much more stable person in our family ;) She also has never done drugs, graduated from university, works with children (kindergarten teacher), never committed crime. And all this without being beat on by a parent! There is no way I would ever hurt my son, it is simply ineffective, traumatizing and brutal. A parent is someone a child should be able to trust, someone to receive unconditional love and support from. Hitting someone is not a display of love, it's a display of force, control, hatred and other negative things.
I suppose today people do not hit their kids as much, not at least in public. Parents tend to use more emotional violence and control over their children. For example, any time I visit a supermarket with my son to shop for groceries, I can probably hear at least one parent threatening their kid with abondonment. "I'm going to leave you here if you don't start behaving". That sounds very familiar. Once in my childhood, me and my brother fooled around a vegetable garden, and my parents were packing their things into the car to leave home. This place was in the middle of nowhere, at least for two small children it was. When we failed to come back to the car as they had asked, and were coming back, walking slowly, since kids aren't that fast anyway, my parents simply took off without us. They drove into the distance, we burst into tears, thinking they were going to leave us there, and then they stopped the car into the distance and we ran like crazy to get to them. Then we got into the car and I think our parents told us to "do as we're told" in the future. Would I ever do this to my child? No-farking way! First off, it is illegal to dump your kid like that, and secondly, clearly it has caused me a life-long trauma, since I can still remember this incident, even though it occurred when I was around 4 years old.
My wife, who literally raises other people's kids for a living, has one good solid argument against violence over kids. I have grown to like it. It simply states; if you disagree with an adult, or an adult is not behaving in the manner you want them to, do you walk up to them and hit them to make them alter their behaviour? Of course not, because an adult might defend themself. However, the only reason you do this to a child is, because a child usually cannot defend against you.
In retrospect I think what my parents did was disgusting, I think part of it was their own upbringing. They simply continued the tradition they had been brought up on. You did not mess with your parents or elders, or you got whooped. Part of it was, that my parents were much younger than most people today who have kids. They were immature young parents, and I guess they were venting their frustration over their youth being cut short. Yes, this almost sounds like I'm making excuses for them. But I do want to understand their behaviour. It's not as if it was a daily or weekly thing, to get punished like that, but the fact that it occasionally happened, and that they thought it was a good decent thing to do, to hit your own child, I simply find it hard to understand.
I now have a son (1 year 4 months), and my wife has grown up without physical punishment. She can only roll her eyes at the things I've experienced in my youth. And yes, she is the sane, much more stable person in our family ;) She also has never done drugs, graduated from university, works with children (kindergarten teacher), never committed crime. And all this without being beat on by a parent! There is no way I would ever hurt my son, it is simply ineffective, traumatizing and brutal. A parent is someone a child should be able to trust, someone to receive unconditional love and support from. Hitting someone is not a display of love, it's a display of force, control, hatred and other negative things.
I suppose today people do not hit their kids as much, not at least in public. Parents tend to use more emotional violence and control over their children. For example, any time I visit a supermarket with my son to shop for groceries, I can probably hear at least one parent threatening their kid with abondonment. "I'm going to leave you here if you don't start behaving". That sounds very familiar. Once in my childhood, me and my brother fooled around a vegetable garden, and my parents were packing their things into the car to leave home. This place was in the middle of nowhere, at least for two small children it was. When we failed to come back to the car as they had asked, and were coming back, walking slowly, since kids aren't that fast anyway, my parents simply took off without us. They drove into the distance, we burst into tears, thinking they were going to leave us there, and then they stopped the car into the distance and we ran like crazy to get to them. Then we got into the car and I think our parents told us to "do as we're told" in the future. Would I ever do this to my child? No-farking way! First off, it is illegal to dump your kid like that, and secondly, clearly it has caused me a life-long trauma, since I can still remember this incident, even though it occurred when I was around 4 years old.
My wife, who literally raises other people's kids for a living, has one good solid argument against violence over kids. I have grown to like it. It simply states; if you disagree with an adult, or an adult is not behaving in the manner you want them to, do you walk up to them and hit them to make them alter their behaviour? Of course not, because an adult might defend themself. However, the only reason you do this to a child is, because a child usually cannot defend against you.
Once, my Grandma hit me over the head with a big china bowl.
Yes, and now it's payback time. My Dad is 70 and let's just say I'm the one who does the punching now. One of these days I'll probably throw in a roundhouse kick for good measure.
People, you know, they complain when the elderly are abused but I put it to you that it's great fun - and so easy. Next time I beat him up I'll probably drag him out onto the lawn in the middle of a wintery night and put the garden hose onto his ass. That'll learn him!
People, you know, they complain when the elderly are abused but I put it to you that it's great fun - and so easy. Next time I beat him up I'll probably drag him out onto the lawn in the middle of a wintery night and put the garden hose onto his ass. That'll learn him!
Being Hispanic, there is no way that I wasn't going to be spanked by my parents. My dad has never laid a hand on me, the spanking was always done by my mom and it was always with what ever object was nearest to her hand. Thats why I I tried to not get her mad when she was in the kitchen as I was little.
the most embarrassing hits were when she would pinch me, pull my ears or smack me in the stores with other people around; some of you might relate to that lol. I remember I would run from her when she was going to spank me and She would say "If you run its only goint to be worse" and she would also say "come here now" and I would reply "No your'e going to hit me" she would then put down whatever she was going to hit me with and say "Im not going to hit you anymore," believing her I would go to her and then she would grab me pick back up whatever she was going to hit me with and BAM!!! "Keep trying to run!" I laugh looking back at it now on all the crazy shit I would do when I was little.
the most embarrassing hits were when she would pinch me, pull my ears or smack me in the stores with other people around; some of you might relate to that lol. I remember I would run from her when she was going to spank me and She would say "If you run its only goint to be worse" and she would also say "come here now" and I would reply "No your'e going to hit me" she would then put down whatever she was going to hit me with and say "Im not going to hit you anymore," believing her I would go to her and then she would grab me pick back up whatever she was going to hit me with and BAM!!! "Keep trying to run!" I laugh looking back at it now on all the crazy shit I would do when I was little.
Someone mentioned emotional violence and that is a rly good point. I am not a fan of hitting chidren, like i said before, we dont hit adults. But imo, it is no less harmful for a child to constantly be put down and belittled and humiliated verbally then it is to get smacked. An occasional smack is probably (imo) less harmful then constant 'blaa blaa blaa u useless fucker, would u get out of my way'. At least a smack can relate to specific behaviour (eg a child deciding i wont spit in mums face because my hand hurt when she smacked me, or even learning watch out when ppl are stressed out after work) as opposed to general feelings of uselessness and like the child is a worthless nuisence who just gets in the way all the time and isnt particularly wanted. And there is no law against narking at ur child. And even tho ppl agree its abusive, it is nearly impossible to build a case against someone for that because its so subjective.
I have magical powers. I'm untouchable.
The problem with hitting kids as a form of punishment is that there is nowhere left to go except hitting them harder. It's counterproductive. Shouting at them is the same: what do you do next time, shout louder? I fnd withholding games/treats/tv time etc is more effective. But I admit I have shouted at my youngest because at age five he still hasn't the wit to realise cars will kill him if he wanders onto the road. I will gladly shout at him if it will save his life.