The Private & Personal Diaries of Freddie Mercury (1946-1991)

Rhapsody 87> You asked about Freddie's reaction to the audience at the Montreal concert. Unfortunately Freddie rarely mentioned his feelings of audiences at any given concert. He often referred to his fans as scum and felt the need to shower after each show to rid himself of their working class stench. After searching through all 24 volumes of his private & personal diaries, I could only find three shows where he felt the audience was worthy of his performance. They were Ingleston 82, Birmigham NEC 84 & Wembley 86. Coincidentaly they also happened to be the three concerts that I attended so one can only assume that I brought out the best in Freddie and his sole purpose in life was to entertain me.

As for the Sheer Heart Attack photo shoot, I did find an extensive entry but for some unknown reason (I can't be bothered looking it up) there was no date.

Dear Diary
This afternoon we shot the album cover for our third LP 'Sheer Heart Attack'. I still have no idea why we have decided to call the album 'Sheer Heart Attack' as the song it refers to is one of Roger's compositions which he assures us should be ready in time for our sixth album.
We all had our own ideas of what the cover should look like. I wanted to have a photo of a big cock but was voted down again. Roger (as usual) wanted us to dress up as women. We haven't dismissed the idea entirely but we might put it in a pend file until 1984 or something. John had this rip roaring idea of having us lined up in a row wearing smart business suits. I swear to god, could that guy be any duller if he tried? What with the album being called 'Sheer Heart Attack, Brian wanted us lying in hospital beds, hooked up to cariograph machines.
In the end we spent so much time arguing that the photographer, whose name I can't remember (again I can't be bothered to look it up) told us that Chelsea were playing at home that afternoon and if we didn't get a fucking move on, we could have the album cover shot at the photo-booth in Paddington Station. To cut a long story short, we stripped off to the waist and lay on the floor while the photographer climed up a rickety old pair of step-ladders and clicked off a couple of rolls. Then he decided to make us look a little more exotic by pouring freezing cold water all over us. The only problem was that under the hot studio lights, the water dried off very quickly. Luckily I saved the day by suggesting that we smear ourselves with vaseline which I always keep in my bag in case of....er...well... Never mind.
We all got lubed up, the photo was taken and sent off to Supa-Snaps. Please bear in mind that it's only 1974 and one hour processing won't be around for a while yet so with a little luck we should get the pics back in a fortnight or so.
F.M

"Please bear in mind that it's only 1974 and one hour processing won't be around for a while yet so with a little luck we should get the pics back in a fortnight or so."

Oh my GOD! Freddie was a psychic!!! :O

Grim Reaper> The only mention of the 1984 Golden Rose festival is that Freddie was forced into wearing leggings beneath his wrestling leotard.
The second appearance in 1986 is just as uneventful apart from the after-show party in which Mark O'Toole (former bassist of Frankie Goes To Hollywood) made a snide comment to Freddie concerning poor lip-sync skills. Freddie laughed it off but later that evening he followed the scouse git into the toilets and battered him to within an inch of his life with a warm air hand drier that he ripped off the wall with his bare hands.

The 'Hot Space' sessions cover some three months of the 1981 diary and consist of a single sentence for each day. 'This album will be the end of our careers.' This is punctated by one entry which states' David Bowie turned up today and jammed for a while. This album will be the end of our careers.'

Again the dates are something I simply cannot be bothered checking but this an entry from sometime between 1982-1984 concerning the meetings with Michael Jackson

Dear Diary
Roger and I are in L.A at the moment for some reason or other and decided to pay a visit to our old friend Michael Jackson. We drove out to Neverland (which he may or may not live in at this point in time) and were greeted by a 7'4, 28 stone, heavily armed security guard. He asked our names and the purpose of our visit before calling the house on the intercom system. 'A Mr Mercury and a Mr Taylor to see you sir' growled the guard and we could hear a faint high pitched voice answer back. 'Oh shit, I forgot all about those limey bastards coming round this afternoon, stall them while I get these goddam kids back down into the dungeon.'
After 15 minutes or so the guard waved us on and it took another hour and a half to drive to the house itself. On the way we passed a fully functioning fairground, an eary shrine to Elizabeth Taylor, a zoo, the earthly remains of John Merrick (The Elephant Man) and a rather sheepish looking group of naked gentlemen running towards the woods with their clothes bundled up in their arms. Roger thought he recognised two of them as Gary Glitter and Jonathon King but I told him he was being silly.
Michael met us at the door and welcomed us inside. It was the first time I had been to Neverland and although it was a little glitzy for my taste, it was indeed a beautiful house. He is like myself something of an art collector and he has one of the most extensive collections of fine art in the U.S. In the Hallway he has two Dalis a Constable and a Turner. His dining room is full of original Jackson Pollocks and in his living room he has a couple of Picassos and an original DaVinci sketch. Roger was telling me that on a visist to the bathroom he has a collection of prints behind the cistern. He didn't know who the artist was but they were all of children in various stages of undress. After a breif tour of the house, Michael took us downstairs to his recording studio. I don't know how he manages to get any work done down there because of the contant sobbing of children. Michael assured me that the noises came from the orphanage next door. Funny but I don't recall seeing any orphanages when we arrived.
We spent the rest of the afternoon recording a couple of tracks which will hopefully be released as part of a box set sometime in the 90s.
Later on as we left Neverland, we saw Mick Jagger arriving humming a tune not too dissimilar to the one I had been working on with Michael Jackson earlier. As we got back to the main gate we saw our old pal Pete Townsend from The Who. We waved but he didn't seem to see us. Perhaps he was too busy crouching as far down in the seat of his car as he could.
Anyway, It was nice catching up with Michael again, even if he is getting weirder by the day and his holier than thou attitude is starting to get on my tits. It's ok for him to sexually molest children but he goes apeshit if I do a line of ching in his bathroom.
F.M.

Barb> I have discovered that Freddie left detailed plans for his own funeral arrangements, but since I never attended the ceremony myself I am unable to confirm or deny if his final wishes were carried out or not.

23rd OCTOBER 1991
Dear Diary
The doctors have told me that my condition is is such an advanced state that I might not make it till Christmas and I should start thinking about making any final arrangements concerning my last wishes.
Pheobe's dad is an undertaker and I have decided to leave eveything up to him.I would like a traditional Christian service as I have no interest or belief in Zorasrianism anyway. The only other stipulations I have made are that there should on no account be any flowers, no music by Monstserrate Cabbelle or Aretha Franklin and no fish paste sandwiches at the buffet. I don't particularly care what happens to my ashes but if my fans wish to pay their final respects, I suggest they scrawl a large ugly message on the walls of Garden Lodge in spray-paint or magic marker. This will if anything, annoy the hell out of that old cow Mrs Patterson across the road who for the past five years has been moaning about my cats creeping into her garden and shitting on her roses.
F.M

As I have already stated I did not attend the funeral so I am unaware if Freddie's final wishes were carried out to the letter. On the other hand if you read the Private & Personal diaries of Elton John on TaylorMayed's website there is an enrtry that states that Elton enjoyed the fish paste sandwiches served at the funeral of Freddie Mercury and I am sure the great man would turning in his grave if he were to discover his last wishes were so willfuly ignored.

fatty.

S@turn> The diaries only go as far back as 1967 and it seems clear that Freddie had been on the other bus for quite some time before that.

fatty.

Dan> There are a great deal of entries from around the time Freddie was recording 'Mr Bad Guy in Munich. They do however concenrtate more on what Freddie got up to at night and could not possibly be repeated on a family orientated website.
So until I get a note from Dark Myuutwo's mum, they will have to remain a secret.

fatty.

"'A Mr Mercury and a Mr Taylor to see you sir' growled the guard and we could hear a faint high pitched voice answer back. 'Oh shit, I forgot all about those limey bastards coming round this afternoon, stall them while I get these goddam kids back down into the dungeon.'"


LMAO!!
did Freddie ever write what does "knock me down for a six anytime" mean? (Body Language)

fatty, you said that Freddie's diary mentioned the Ingliston 82 gig. What does it say coz I was there too.

Dave

"Dan> There are a great deal of entries from around the time Freddie was recording 'Mr Bad Guy in Munich. They do however concenrtate more on what Freddie got up to at night and could not possibly be repeated on a family orientated website.
So until I get a note from Dark Myuutwo's mum, they will have to remain a secret.

fatty."

If they're THAT bad, You can keep them Fatty. How about Brian? Anything mean about him in there?

Ah, how about something about Freddie's 39th birthday party in Munich?

Mr Mercury> This is the entry in which Freddie describes the show at Ingleston.

1st JUNE 1982
Dear Diary
Well this is the first time we have played north of the border in a long time and it has to be said that Scottish fans are among the finest in the world. What made the night particularly special was a young guy aged about 13 or fourteen years old, quite near the back. He was a chubby young fellow with a crop of red hair and he appeared to be there with his older brother, who by contrast appeared to be a right tosser.
As we tore through our set this young lad cheered and waved and spurred us on to bigger and better things. Yesterday I was seriously considering leaving the band. In fact I thought about killing myself too but seeing this young Scotsmans enthusiasm has rekindled my spirit and although I probably won't credit him on any future tours or albums I hereby dedicate the rest of my career to him. God bless him and should anyone discover this entry in my diary long after I am dead and gone, I would like it known that I bequeath all my worldly goods to that fat wee laddie from Leith.
F.M

These are hilarious. I love the Michael Jackson one.

LOL!!!

Not only funny, but really thought-provoking as well!

I almost pissed myself while reading the Michael Jackson entry......I loved it when Michael said the sounds of sobbing children were coming from an orphanage next door....hilarious....fatty..you should consider writing a book....

I'd like to know if Freddie wrote anything about the kids that were in "The Miracle" video.....

Wow fatty! You are entitled to a LOT of stuff as far as that last entry goes! :O