The corrupted wish thread

I bring beer to our christmas party. Only problem is that we both get fat and throw up all over.

I wish Monte: Licorice Years was my girlfriend.

Granted, but then you turn into a llama.

I wish I didn't have a history test tomorrow.

what do you mean wish! fine, i'll take our 6 illegimate children and leave!

i wish QOW (im not typing your whole name, it's too long) was being a charming hero, who saves me from boredom!

You dont have a history test....Your teacher has decided to pre-fail you.

I wish the stupid assholes of the administration would give us a snow day.

you get your snow day, but you suddenly get the flu which leaves you half dead and you cant enjoy your snow day

i wish i could get rid of this writers' block and start writing some fucking songs

You can write, similar to freddie. Problem is they all suck....like Get Down Make Love

I wish there was something better to do at 10pm

well, you could do something better at 10pm, however, im not going to say it, because it's a little crass. and this certain thing, well if you do it too much you could blind, and you do. (hope you understand)

i wish for a little ray of sunshi-i-ine, on a cloudy day

(i need to get out more)

You get sunshine and too much. You turn red and the guy who made fun of your wrists makes fun of your sunburn

I wish Monte could do the thing that would make me go blind for me...

hahaha...fucking granted! however, i do it too hard, and it breaks (sorry...)

i wish i went to the green day concert!!

You get your green day tickets but their leader mistakes you for an AMERICAN IDIOT. You say "f*ck america" to quote his song and then Colin Powell pops out from a nearby book depository and kills you with a magic bullet.

I wish I could fix it...

hahahah. you do, but it'll never be the same again

i wish queen would tour to shitty shitty australia, and i get back stage passes! that'd be so erotic (delicious and erotic)

Queen tours australia with their new "Body Language tour. Oh its erotic but the only songs they play are

1. Get Down Make Love
2. Tear It Up
3. Staying Power
4. Dancer
5. Body Language

I wish I had the superpowers of

1. Faster Than A Tall Building
2. Able To Leap Speeding Bullets in a single bound

you do get those powers, however they only work underwater, so you still get shot by tall buildings and you cant jump over speeding bullets

i wish i had jet plane, so i could fly where ever i wanted, whenever (and you can come)

All Right! We get our plane off the ground. Then realize that neither of us knows how to fly. Our ship flies off into space and we're never heard from again........Until we meat the martians....

I wish my dog would quit staring at me.

your dog stops starring, but then she bites you.

i wish i had a magical fairy to come clean my house