The Donny Mars Project (Penis Still at Large, jk)

http://www.myspace.com/donnymars

Influences are whatever I have been hearing when I wrote the song. With Angel for example, For No One by the Beatles was the last song I had heard. Inspirations are all my buddies.

if I had named this thread Penis Still at Large I would have gotten a lot more veiws wouldn't I have?

so I suck so much that you won't glorify me with comments?

yep

[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]<b><font color=gold>SMi<font color=1>TTY wrote: [/QUOTENAME]yep[/QUOTE]when did you become an asshole smitty? you used to be cool old man.

There's no way of putting this delicately. You're song is awful. I would say that you're in dire need of some song writing lessons but that would leave you with no time left to take the singing and guitar lessons that you so desperately need.
If, on the other hand, you just want to pretend that you're in a rock band so that you can post wonderful stories about playing gigs, recording albums and getting record deals, why don't you take a leaf out of Jake Britt's book and post a photograph of you and your pals holding guitars, photoshop an album cover and just keep making lame excuses as to why you never upload any of your demo tracks.
Apart from that you sound like a wonderful young fellow.

fatty.

[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Donny Mars wrote: [/QUOTENAME]http://www.myspace.com/donnymars
[/QUOTE]
Are you for real?

you make treasure moment sound good

The people who know me and inspired these songs seem to be my primary audience. btw, if the song you heard was not Goodnight Gorgeous or Blame Game, then It isn't a true demonstration of my power. even Blame Game is kinda bad in that case because it is the acoustic version from Sanitary Sewer rather than the real version I am working on for The Return. once my work on The Return is done, my real music will start to evolve. I plan on doing some form of concept work that has to do with my book.

I have now listened to the rest of your songs and unless this is one big wind up, you have some serious denial issues.

Apart from the fact that the songs (and I use that term in it's broadest sense) are badly written, you can't sing and you certainly can't play the guitar. I thought that Mountain Momma was particularly bad and I can't imagine what possesed you to record a song in the same room as someone who is smashing up furniture with a sledgehammer.

If anyone (and this includes your so-called friends) tells you that they enjoy what you're doing, then they are just making fun of you behind your back.

I know you're only 14 and I'm not just having a pop at you, but the longer you kid yourself on the worse it will be for you in the end.

Best wishes and good luck.
fatty.

I could defend myself, stating that all the insturments were out of tune, which they were. I could also say that one of the people who complimented my songs was qz's own Sasha (eviltwin). but I don't feel like saying the things I just said.

Are you related to Jake Britt by any chance?

fatty.

I was going to break it down for each individual song but, here are some out-takes, instead :

Instruments overbear. No idea what's going on. Monotonous - it seems like it's the same thing over and over again. Repetitive to the point of droning. I stopped halfway through. Sounds like someone's getting too close to the mic.

Main problem : Repetitive. Even if the music was better mixed - the songs go on too long saying the same thing over and over.


Learn to MIX MUSIC. You can set up a decent "studio" in-home. It's possible. You'll probably want a better mic.


All the songs sound THE SAME. I love Queen, I love David Bowie... I like them because they sound unique and NOT REPETITIVE. Does "My Fairy King" sound like a clone of "Liar" ? No. Does "Keep Yourself Alive" sound just like "Son & Daughter" ? No. Does "Soul Love" sound exactly the same as "Star" ? NO !


Also - learn a bit about MUSIC. Sure, some famous guys could never read music - but they most likely had a good internal sense of music or someone to write it for them (and still needed some sense to perform it).

Instruments being out of tune is no excuse. If you're going to record something, be professional - especially if you're going to "market" it in any sense.

[QUOTE]crisp like Queen on A Night At The Opera[/QUOTE]

"Crisp" is not the word. It sounds sloppy, at best.

[QUOTE]Forceful like Bowie on Diamond Dogs[/QUOTE]

Wait, what ?

[QUOTE]smooth like The Beatles on Revolver[/QUOTE]

No.


HOW TO IMPROVE :

If you have a keyboard... learn scales. Play them. It's pretty easy. Now, once you can get your fingers to do it (or if you already can) - go up and down the scales and pay attention - sing along and MATCH PITCH. You can even sing along with Queen or Bowie or John, Paul, George, Ringo if you match pitch and pay attention to how it feels.

A vocal coach might be something to look into.

Think about how Queen made music, for heaven's sake. It wasn't all on one track. It wasn't all in one take. There were overdubs and over-the-over-the-over-the-dub-dubs. I'm not suggesting go that complex now - but even *I* can overdub something - with free software, even.

Harmony, melody, chorus, break, bridge - words like these are your friends, learn about them and they can help you.

*Vomits all over keyboard*

I really hope that was a joke.

If it's not, I'm... sorry(?)